Did my friend take the piss or am I being unreasonable

[sandyballs]

A good friend of mine asked if I would have her two children from about 6pm last Friday as she had a 40th birthday to go to, 30 miles away, staying the night, returning Sat morning. She said her DH would collect them when he finished work at about 7.30 but would it be ok for him to drop them back to me again at 7am on his way to work until about 9 when she returned. Her DH is working crazy hours at the moment with his own business. Fine, I said, then I offered to have them overnight to prevent the early drop off etc, thought it would be easier.

To cut a long story short, she didn't turn up to collect her kids until 3pm on the Saturday. I just find it very odd that she didn't text, or ask if I had other plans. I wasn't expecting to have them for most of that day, thought she would return after breakfast. They aren't the easiest of children either and clash terribly with mine. Prob six of one, half dozen of the other, not blaming hers particularly but she is very aware of this.

Not sure why this bothers me still nearly a week on, should just forget it, but it is something I would just never do. AIBU

YANBU.
She was very rude and inconsiderate. Stories like this on here always amaze me, I can't imagine not being there to pick up my dc when I say I will, and if something prevents pick ups on time I get into a right panic!

Don't do her anymore favours.

In your shoes I would have been ringing pretty non stop from ten onwards wanting to know where she was. Just not turning up to collect your children is ridiculous and I wouldn't consider a person a friend if they did that to me.

YaNbu she was 6 hours later than she said shed be! Did you contact her in the meantkme?

she took the piss. Think twice before you offer to do her a favour again

Agree with cantspel make mental note "don't offer again".

I bet she had the hangover of the year and couldn't face her DC.

YANBU, but I can see her side too....not that I would do what she did. Did you try to contact her?

She was six hours late collecting her kids? I'd have gone nuts! YANBU

YANBU. Though I don't know what you can actually do about it now except remember in future to have plans (even if you don't).
Even allowing for a lie in on the Sat morning, 3pm's just taking the mickey.

I can't see her side. She knew she had to get back, that was the arrangement. Stupid getting so drunk the night before that she couldn't pick her DC up or, did she just selfishly decide she'd stay on for lunch. What did she say when she finally rolled up ?

Didn't say anything much, just what a good time she'd had, thanks for having them etc etc.

I'm not offering again, I'm going to distance our kids relationship and just see her in adult environments, out for meals etc. My DD finds her DD incredibly hard work and obsessive and DH thinks they are forced together by our friendship.

Did she have an excuse and did you say anything to her

I know someone who does this to people. I now don't speak to her and suggest you distance yourself from this woman. There are people who take the piss a bit and then there are people that take it to a whole different level - like your "friend". Who incidentally is NOT your friend! There is something wrong with a person who is 6 hrs late to pick their kids up (unless emergency).

Cheeky and rude.
I would do the same as you OP.

Why on earth didn't you pull her up on it, OP?

'Where the fuck were you?' would have sufficed, surely?

But anyway, no, YANBU, and if she asks again of course you have total license to laugh in her face.

Listen to my story: my friend went to work on a all day long and evening event with her husband and offered to pay me to look after her daughter from 10 am until about 11 pm. I invited to sleep over and she said she would collect at around 9:30 because her daughter doesn't wake up before 9 at weekends. Fine. I did playground, did soft play, Mc Donald's (the girl is very fussy and I was at least sure she loves mcd), shower, dinner, dvd, story and sleep over. Next day - Sunday - the girl wakes at 6 am. I'm sorry but I put the TV on until my daughter wakes up at 9 (but I need to stay her and watch cbbies coz I can't leave the girl watching alone right?). At 11 I'm at the adventure playground and friend calls me to say the event finished much later and she had to sleep over there and was now leaving...this is 1 hour+ by train. She finally arrives at around 2. Her daughter is really delightful so I didn't mind that much a part that instead of money I asked her to return the favour if I ever need...few days later she tells me she is pregnant and have very bad pregnancies and C-section so I can see the favour isn't going to be returned anytime soon. Catch is: she knew she was pregnant when she agreed with me...

I should have pulled her up on it I know, I'm too laid back and don't like confrontation. Just moan about it on MN afterwards .

with both op and complexo - i would have rang the 'friend' maybe 15mins after agreed time and asked where the hell were they

it is rude and bad manners that neither of them called you and said sorry they were running late

i would not be impressed one little bit

takes the piss out of your friendship tbh

I think she might have had a very good time at the party, and possibly wouldn't care anyway!

But yes, YANBU.

I haven't read the other posts but I'd be pissed off.

I wouldn't say anything to her now but I would make myself very clear next time she asked me for a favour.

Her - 'can you watch the kids for me Saturday night, I'm going out, pick them up in the morning'
You - 'No problem, but I have plans the next day so pick them up by 10am at the latest - or i can drop them off to you'.

Group of 6 friends and there was one like this , we all gradually learnt when to be busy and if your mobile rang just before school pick you knew to leave it

I agree with Blondeshavemorefun, I would have texted when she was late, asking her where she was. I wouldn't have let it get so late without being in contact. Your friend is incredibly rude and you were taken advantage of. Having said that, you sound like a lovely friend for helping out in the first place.