Not letting a 14 year old stay up all night.

[ancienthistrionics]

I have this problem with our 14 year old. In the holidays he loves to stay up all night, drinks loads of coffee etc. plays his computer game, watches films or whatever. In the past we have had problems with mild depression and bad behaviour so I have said he can't do this and banned anything with caffeine until he has his sleep patterns back to normal.

I do believe you should never wake a sleeping teenager, but is this common? He sleeps all day which means he gets no fresh air or social life. He has plenty of friends but seems to really like this time on his own.

he can't help it. his brain is re-forming itself ready for adult life. keep the ban on caffeine, try to get him to bed by midnight (with no further stimulus) and let him sleep till noon when you can. he'll be fine.

oh, and teach him some stilling techniques for when he's in bed and can't sleep. concentrating on his breathing etc. or imagining waves on the sea shore.

Thanks for your kind words, but I should point out it is an inter-family adoption, he is an orphan and was not being properly looked after, refusing school, etc, which is why we took him in. So no SS involvement for us!

Sounds as if you are doing a totally great job. Not many people would do what you're doing.

If you let him sleep late in the mornings he will progressively go to bed later and later. Make sure he gets up in the mornings.

If that means taking a cable away so be it.

Ancient, you are doing a great thing taking care of anyone who has lost their parents for whatever reason, regardless of whether they are family. You have now become the most important person in his life and that's a big responsibility to take on.

As soon as mine had their 13th birthday they seemed to want to stay up much later.

During the holidays, I counter this by getting them up around 9.30am and making sure they stay active in the day. They have to walk the dog as a bare minimum. I also suggest trips to swimming pools, ice rinks etc

This usually ensures they're asleep around 10.30pm.

Thanks for all your posts. All seems to be back on track now (teenage life runs on a very short loop doesn't it) he is going out this afternoon to meet a friend, and has promised to show off his prize guinea pigs to my visitor's children.

My DS2 is 15 and DS3 is 12 and I let them stay up until late in holidays playing xbox or watching TV but wouldn't allow them to stay up all night doing it. On the occasions they've stayed awake too late I still wake them up at a decent time like 10am or earlier if we have to go somewhere. They then go to bed early that night.
The coffee, I allow them have one cup on a morning if they want some but no more. Just regular nescafe and not strong machine stuff I wouldn't share it with them anyway :) Energy drinks like Redbull are banned in my house too.
Another poster made a good suggestion about showing him some facts about what he's doing/potentially doing to his health and why a regular routine sleep pattern is important.
You sound like you're doing a fab job Ancient (I have much respect for you) and hopefully he'll understand that you're worried because you love and care about him.

Ok I know this is 4 years late but still,

I'm 13 yo and I too stay up until early morning (anywhere to 1-4) but only in the school breaks. Who actually cares if you want to enjoy and make the most of your school breaks, I think if you want to stay up late and wake up late is fine but only if you can still manage to adjust to school hours within the first week. School forces you for 6 week periods to wake up at 5-7 in the morning for 5 days straight and you wouldnt let your son catch up on lost sleep on Friday and Saturday? That's just torture for teenagers. If people say it affects your health as in it gives you depression and this and that, statistics show 25% of people get clinacaly depressed anyway so blaming this on lack of sleep is just a lie (do your research and not on biased sites look at a few on both ends of the spectrum i.e sleep affects depression and sleep doesn't affect depression) With the the stimulation of the brain thing that is indeed true but in the end you feel tired anyways and only have a PC cut off 20 ish minutes before you want them to go to sleep but make sure you give them something to do or they will get moody (like I do).

Basically let your kids enjoy their weekends and breaks.

If your kid struggles to go to sleep maybe he/she has a mental illness to not being able to go to sleep (like I do) he are some nice ways to calm them down

Calm music, A lava lamp (This works extremely well somehow just watching the lava bits jumping around is suprisingly calming, maybe cuddles (although they may not like it lol) you can find otherways online but me sure he/she picks the way they want to try and not you.

Thanks for your time