to think there should be

[politebutgrumpy]

A hotel in the countryside with maternity nurses and bf counsellors where new mums can spend the first six weeks learning the ropes after their discharged from hospital.

I am 32 weeks pg with first and brickibg it. My mum and friends just laugh and say it'll be fine!

Your mum and friends are right.

It is a nice idea though.

The more I think about it this is a totally odd idea.

Why after I've had a baby would I not want to go home, to a place I know where my support system is. You don't need 6 weeks to learn the ropes because the ropes are constantly changing. I think it would just isolate new mothers and make them feel more alone, at a time when they're more vulnerable.

Looking after a baby is really not that difficult its tiring and demanding but not that difficult. All 7 billlion of us in this world were once babies and were looked after, if 7 billion people can be cared for it can't be that hard can it.

Yes it might support some people but I imagine those who really need it couldn't afford it.

You will be fine. Rather than spending the money staying at a hotel in the country (although I can see the appeal) why not spend it on a doula or night nanny who will help you out at night if your hubs needs to sleep for work? Assuming here that your partner is on board with all this. If not then yes, can totally understand you freaking out about doing it on your own. It is bloody hard in those first few weeks as the hormones are raging and everything makes you feel inadequate.

By the time you have fed baby, changed his/her nappy, baby has had a little nap it will be time to feed again and so on. You can do with support in terms of someone else to do the tidying up, dishes, housework for sure. Can your mum/family pop around or come and stay for a bit?

That would be hellish, I think.
After I had DS, I only wanted to go home and be with my baby and husband.

My mum said that when she was in hospital having us, long, long time ago, each mum would have someone sitting with her to show her how to breastfeed and how to express (I would have found that useful - never really figured it out.) They took the babies away after feeds and although now I think that's awful, it meant the mums did sleep and the babies got into a routine. The mums stayed in for a week so the routine was established then.

I was in for a week and had absolutely no bloody routine at all - I couldn't tell day from night by the time I left.

I agree with OP!!! It may be different for those with supportive families but going home to an empty house with a tiny baby and no support is daunting, exhausting and lonely. I am sure some women bounce back from childbirth but I took at least 6 weeks to regain my normal strength (I lost a lot of blood, mind).

Friends of mine have hired maternity nurses or doolahs which might be a compromise. You certainly need support (with housework, with washing, with shopping) for a few weeks after childbirth IMO. I thought I could do it all and it was not healthy for me or for the baby.

Good luck. It is all worth it in the end....

Awful idea. When I had DD home was where I wanted to be with my husband, my son and my stuff.

When I had DS I was completely on my own (and homeless - thanks to a shit exP and an even more shit mother) and I managed just fine. Just told myself the whole people have been doing it for centuries stuff, didn't look in a book, 'listened' to my body and my baby and we got on just fine.

IMO, some women need to be a bit less precious about having babies and just get on with it.

OP, you will be fine . Listen to your mum and friends!

Practically the best thing about having a baby is that it is your baby and you are making the decisions.

Actually, OP, those sorts of places do exist.

They are Social Services run nursing homes which are staffed with nurses 24/7 and you get your own Key Worker. They check up on you constantly to make sure you're doing what you should be, they have meetings where they hand out 'advice' regarding parenting and what mum should be doing and what baby needs.

You have your own bedroom but share a kitchen and bathroom.

You will qualify for a leaving care grant when you leave.

I think you can self refer.

I had my first two babies in new Zealand and when things got too much ( I had only an 18 moth gap and second baby was premature with colic and never slept), you could go to a centre for the day where the staff took care of my babies and packed me off to a little shed in the garden with a hot water bottle and I caught up on some much needed sleep. I only went a couple of times but it was a lifesaver becsuse we had no family around to help us and I was truly exhausted. The staff were lovely and I still remember their kindness 13 years later . I often think there should be a similar scheme here.

Babyroobs that sounds like a wonderful scheme.

Folkgirl Yes, of course some lucky new mums breeze it but it is so NOT true that women have done it for years the way they are expected to now. Even in the most primitive of societies, a mother and her newborn are rested and cared for for at least a couple of weeks, and the whole group helps with the little one. This idea of going home alone is very new and I hate to think of any new mother coping completely alone. But OP, it sounds like you have your DM :-)

My SIL had her two in Holland, and got a maternity nurse to come to her house every day for two weeks as part of her health insurance! That's what you want OP!

She changed her bedding every day, made her lunch, helped her with BF, entertained older DN, and vaccumed! SIL loved it!

Try not to stress too much. Enjoy this time and milk it for all it's worth!

Women used to be in hospital for much longer after their babies were born. I worked with a lady who had her children in the late '70s and was stuck on her own in a ward in a cottage hospital for two weeks begging to be allowed home.

In Chinese culture, the maternal GM takes care of the mother who does nothing for the first 6 months but feed the baby, eat and rest. We had a Chinese girl in my NCT class - when we all met up when babies were about 12 weeks old, she didn't know how to change her DS's nappy because her mother had always done it, and she was paranoid about putting more weight on because her mother was making her about 5 meals a day, so there are pros and cons to all support systems.

6 weeks? My pfb will be five in a few months, and I'm still learning the ropes.

I think it could be a useful facility for those who want it! not compulsory though.

I saw something online about a new mums' group breastfeeding session in hospital, can't remember whether it was in UK or Australia though - that seemed like a good idea too because there would always be more than one new mum struggling with it, and to know that you're not the only one, plus having expert help on hand (as well as peer support) seemed like a good idea (again, for those who want that sort of thing, obviously)

Great idea. I have no family or people to help. Not everybody does.

There is a very posh hotel near where I live, which often has new mothers staying with private midwives or nurses hired to stay with them,

A couple of my midwife friends have to do follow up visits on new borns there,

mostly new mothers who's husbands have had to go abroad soon after birth of baby.