18th birthday present

[Inyourhippyhat]

DD will be 18 shortly. Her GPs are giving her a watch, her father (we are dvorced) is giving her a camera. She has asked me for a Mulberry handbag. I do not want to buy her this as I feel it will get ruined/damaged/fall out of favour and just get put in a cupboard. She is going to university next month.

I have no idea whether or not a refusal to buy a Mulberry bag would be unreasonable or not. She says she can't think of anything else (but I think this is because she wants the bag). My total cop-out would be to give her money. Then, if she buys the bag at least I did not cave in to her pressure.

Any other ideas gratefully received. (Not jewellery - lots of reasons for this)

But anything you give get could get ruined/damaged/fall out of favour. As could the watch and camera :/

I'd get her the bag. Although I would do an inner-wince at spending so much at something to carry stuff in, it's her birthday and that's what she wants.

Get her the bag. It's her 18th. Let her ruin it as well. It's all learning.

If the only reason for not giving it to her is that you don't approve then tbh you should have not asked.

To ask her and then be a bit arsy about her choice is a bit unreasonable i think unless you have a list of suitable alternatives. Given that jewellery is not an option what do ou think is suitable? And at least a mulberry isn't a faddy bag.

If you can afford it, and it's what she really wants, then it's a special, memorable present that she can keep for years.

My only concern would be that if she's going away to university, would she consider leaving it at yours rather than taking it out during term time? Student housing is not always especially secure, and students are often seen as easy targets for theft due to the duplicated phones / laptops/ ipods etc all in one place- an obviously expensive handbag might make her appear to be worth mugging/ stealing from.

YABU. You asked her, she told yuo. Buy her the bag.

My mum had exactly the same concerns as you when I asked for a Gucci watch for my 18th. It's still in pristine condition 10 years later

A mullberry is pretty classic and sounds like she has gone taste! Could be a lot worse, she could have asked for a Paul's boutique bag!

I would buy the bag as long as it is within the budget. If it is a classic style and colour it could be used for years.

I was given a designer bag for my 21st from my mil 8 years ago it's still usable !

Buy her the bag as it is an investment.

I think it is silly not to get her the bag simply because you are worried she'll use it too much or too little (what, pray tell, would be an acceptable amount of use?)

Surely when you buy someone a present, it is theirs to do with what they like?

HOW MUCH?! FOR A BAG?!

I love my designer bags - I have 2 Radley ones. One I use every single day and a smaller evening bag. I have had both for 8 years now, and they are still going strong.
I think a good quality bag is a good choice of gift, she will use it (so better than an ornamental gift in that sense) and it is something she really wants, and hopefully she will take good care of it.
Could you convince her Radley ones are fabulous?! and save a few hundred pounds?! lol

Get her the bag, she will probably look after it and if she doesn't it's her loss. I don't see the point in asking what someone wants as a present if you are going to refuse to buy it anyway (providing the pressie is in the correct price range)!

You are unanimous. I conclude that IABU and unless either I or she can come up with anything else the Mulberry it is!

Thank you!!

Hooray. It is my 40th this year. I will settle for a Radley bag.

Get her the bag and think of something special for her 21st.

Get her the bag. I bet she will use it for ages.