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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to take my dds dummy off her?

59 replies

icecold · 14/08/2012 22:36

She's only 18 months. And, she loves it
I don't want to take it away

But, I have to get up numerous times a night to find it for her. I desperately want to get a full nights sleep, and rejoin the land of the living

Any suggestions, that enable her to keep dummy, gratefully received

OP posts:

SirBoobAlot · 14/08/2012 23:27

Give her a cuddle and take her back to her bed - is it really so bad if she needs some comfort from her dummy and her mother? They grow up so fast, in the long run, that this will be a distant memory soon.

Original poster

icecold · 14/08/2012 23:33

No its not so bad boob, but I am really suffering from sleep deprivation. If it wasn't for the dummy issue, she would sleep through

She slept 12 hours 7am-7pm from 6 weeks old up until about 13 months old

OP posts:

5madthings · 14/08/2012 23:34

my dd is 20mths she has the glo in the dark avent ones! the bunny thing is good as well or tie them onto a muslin cloth?

she is only little i wouldnt leave her to hunt for long on her own if she is upset.
my dd still sleeps in our bed so its easy to replace a lost dummy, tho tbh she is pretty good at finding them herself.

workshy · 14/08/2012 23:37

I used to tie a muslin through the loop of the dummy, and then put and extra one with the muslin sticking out from under her pillow, and make it part of the bedtime routine that DD saw me putting it under the pillow -she soon got the hang of finding it and when we took the dummies away she kept the muslin for a good few weeks after as a comforter

but that rabbit looks like a genius idea!

BulldogDrummond · 15/08/2012 09:33

You have to do somethjing about it sometime otherwise they'll be 20 and still sucking dummies.

Mine never had a dummy. Ugh! They sucked their thumbs until they were ready to give them up (still attached though) when they were 3 or so. People used to oooh and aaah over them because they looked so darling. dummies were thought to be naff then

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 15/08/2012 09:45

I got rid of dd's dummy at this age as was pregnant with ds and didn't want her stealing the babies dummies

She gave them to the dummy fairy (after a funny hunt with a shiny box, it's amazing how many of the buggers they hide in toys!) and was given a present in return. Then stickers each night she was good at going to bed, and after 10 nights she got another sunny fairy present. After that the cycle was broken! It is do able if your child has the understanding to grasp the concept. With ds we waited until he was 2 as he wouldn't have 'got it'. He gave his to father Xmas in exchange for his presents!

Original poster

icecold · 15/08/2012 09:53

I gave dd2 a dummy because i was anti dummy with dd1 (EBF dontcha know) and she sucks her fingers. And she still sucks her fingers at age 7. She wont be persuade/bribed/threatened/embarrassed to stops

I cant cut her fingers off, so I thought a dummy was better as I can take that away. At some point. Before she is 20.

Being judged by superior beings, as being a bit Jeremy Kyle makes me want her to keep her dummy

OP posts:

GnocchiNineDoors · 15/08/2012 10:00

Icecold I sucked my finger, til I was about seven or eight. she will grow out of it even if it seems like she wont.

Needless to say, when my dsis was born, dmum gave her a dummy

inneedofsanity · 15/08/2012 10:02

Actually bulldog dummies have been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS in infants. Also they are much easier to remove than for a child who sucks a thumb or fingers.

Both mine had them, and the sleepytot is a genius invention. DS has two and loves his.

Anyone that judges, needs to try coping 24/7 with a screaming baby who is desperate to suck but cant/wont use fingers!!

Original poster

icecold · 15/08/2012 10:02

stacey I have suggested that she doesnt need her dummies any more. She scowls at me, clutches her dummies close and stomps off

shes very Maggie Simpson...

OP posts:

Tangointhenight · 15/08/2012 10:04

I'd rather my baby suck her dummy than her thumb which gives kids buck teeth and down turned bottom lips

Jeremy kyle my ass!

littlepie · 15/08/2012 10:24

DD1 has the glow in the dark ones-they really are fab. We got the MAM ones from ebay.

DD2 won't even look at a dummy-I'd rather she had one than suck her fingers.

Don't judge-when used appropriately dummies are great!

DoItOnce · 15/08/2012 10:31

I was amazed how quickly my DD got over me taking her dummy away. I thought she would be distraught for weeks but after a fractious night and some grumbling the following couple of days it was painless. She was about the same age.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 15/08/2012 11:06

icecold loving the maggot reference!!

Maybe slip in a 'dummy fairy' idea but tell her it can be when she is ready this may encourage her to do it as you aren't deciding for her iyswim. I too have a stubborn girl!

Oh and I'd def prefer to give my babies dummies than let them thumb/finger suck. I sucked my thumb until 13, my poor mother dispaired!

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 15/08/2012 11:07

Maggie not maggot

Original poster

icecold · 15/08/2012 11:26

just ordered rabbit and glow in dark dummies!

OP posts:

unhappyhildebrand · 15/08/2012 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LexiLondon · 15/08/2012 11:37

I wish the soother rabbit had been around when my daughter was a baby/toodler, that looks great and i'll definetly be getting one of those along with the glow in the dark dummies if we manage to have another (we're ttc at the moment).

We did the dummy fairy thing too, we tied ours to a tree in the garden and told dd that the dummy fairy had to take them back so she could give them to babies who needed them, she was around 2.6 when we did it though

Really pleased you posted this thread icecold

Pandemoniaa · 15/08/2012 11:43

I really dislike dummies. I particularly dislike seeing toddlers constantly plugged into one.

However, this comfortably superior stance took a bit of a knock when ds2 came along and really needed a dummy. Fortunately, he made the mistake of spending a day cheerily throwing it out of the pushchair when about 10 months old so it promptly disappeared and was never mourned.

On reflection, and having a friend with a 14 year old thumb sucking son, I now realise that dummies are not necessarily the products of Satan. But I do know that they can be hard to "lose". However, at 18 months I don't know that I'd be fighting that particular night-time battle.

GiuliaRossi · 15/08/2012 14:48

I wouldn't take the dummy away yet either.

But I would emphatically educate my child out of the belief that it is my job to get up in the night and find it for her every time she drops it!

It's her responsibility to do that, and I would put up with a bit of drama for a night or two until she has got the message, because once she's got it, everybody wins.

GiuliaRossi · 15/08/2012 14:51

My daughter, btw, gave her dummies away to the dummy fairy on her third birthday. She knew for months in advance that she was going to; didn't stop her from being distraught for the first couple of nights; but we went all-out cold turkey, and after two nights she was fine and has never looked back!

MarysBeard · 15/08/2012 14:55

DD1 had a dummy until she was 2 but only at nighttime. DD2 had a dummy briefly, I offered it to her as it had really helped with DD1, but she used to fall asleep without it from being a few months old so I got rid.

MarysBeard · 15/08/2012 14:56

I sucked my thumb until I was 8. I still bite my nails and I'm 36.

GiuliaRossi · 15/08/2012 14:59

Re-reading what I posted last night, maybe I should specify that I meant icecold should carry her DD back to bed when she comes, but not find the dummy for her.

Otherwise DD will think that, if she loses her dummy, what she needs to do is come and fetch mummy to find it for her.

bubalou · 15/08/2012 15:07

I don't have much help on the spitting out thing but that dummy rabbit looks amazing! Wish I'd have known!

I managed to get my DS to give up his dummy and only have it at bed time by around age 2 but this was a struggle as he would always find one and sneak it - he also loved his dummy. (called it his neena)

Although he was spitting it out after he fell asleep & not waking up - by the time he was almost 3 I knew that he could no longer have them at all - oh bollocks I thought!

However - he was great. I explained to him that he was going to be 3 soon - we used this milestone as a turning point for him. We said that once he was 3 - the day after his birthday he needed to put all his neenas (dummies) into a pot and leave them with a note for the 'neena fairy' - which we sat and wrote together. He knew that the fairy was going to leave a very special present for him in exchange for all the neenas he didn't need any more because he was such a big boy. He cried when he gave them away - I hated it.

He cried for about 5-10 minutes for the following 2 nights. He has only mentioned them twice since - that was a year ago and he turned 4 a few weeks ago.

Thank god for the neena fairy.

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