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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I experienced Soft Play Rage for the first time yesterday

32 replies

doublevodkaandcoke · 14/08/2012 14:23

Yesterday I took DS (nearly 12 months) to a local soft play. It has a lovely section for under 3s with lights and bubbles etc. It has clear signs stating that that particualr area is for under 3s only.

There were two women in there, one of whom had a DS of a similar age to mine. Anyway, after about 15 minutes two boys (about 7 and 9) came charging into the under 3s section from the main section, and it became clear that they belonged to the other woman.

I thought she would turf them out pretty quickly, but no she just let them start running riot in there. They were throwing ball pond balls about and knocking over all the foam things in there. At one point the eldest one appeared from nowhere and knocked one over that narrowly missed DS. The mum just said 'oh watch out for the babies' about twice, but apart from that just let them carry on in there. After about another 15 mins the two boys disappared back into the main section.

AIBU to think that this woman was a inconsiderate twat for letting her kids do this? I didnt say anything (wimp that I am), but I was cross that she let her older kids behave this way in an under 3s section and that I felt like a precious helicopter parent because I had to keep moving DS out of their way

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 14/08/2012 14:26

You had two choices - say something directly or go and get a member of staff.
If you don't then she will continue to abuse the facilities.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 14/08/2012 14:55

It's because people don't say anything and move their DCs and seethe silently that she keeps on letting her older ones run riot. If people called her out on it, she wouldn't do it anymore.

DappyHays · 14/08/2012 14:55

If you're unhappy but unwilling to confront the parent, quietly let a member of staff know.

VonHerrBurton · 14/08/2012 15:00

YANBU, of course. But get used to it or be prepared to feel uncomfortable and stared at by parents who just take the 'fgs, they were just playing, they only ran in for a minute, chill out love' attitude.

Original poster

doublevodkaandcoke · 14/08/2012 15:01

It was not that busy in there so it would have been really obvious if I had told a staff member. She was not the er, friendliest of women either so to be brutally honest I was a bit scared to confront her about it.

Must become more assertive now that I am a parent.
Must become more assertive now that I am a parent.........

OP posts:

FeakAndWeeble · 14/08/2012 15:23

This has happened to me too OP. In the end I bundled DS out of there after about fifteen minutes. I was so cross with the other mother and then when I was sat in the car I was suddenly furious with myself. I've been a doormat all my life but I was so angry that I hadn't stood up for my son. I too must become more assertive now that I am a parent.... It's easier said than done after a lifetime of hiding from confrontation though!

LilyCocoplatt · 14/08/2012 15:33

YANBU, the same thing happened recently in my local soft play, older kids rampaging in the baby/toddler section, barging the little ones out of the way and launching the foam shapes everywhere, the staff didn't care either at least two of them could see it and did nothing. It wasn't obvious who the older ones belonged to until the end of the session when it turned out they were the women on the next table's, I won't take DD to soft play in the school holidays again I'll wait til the bigger ones are in school as some people obviously think that going to soft play gives their little darlings free rein to do whatever they want and sod everyone else.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/08/2012 15:38

Someone quietly had a word with the staff at my softplay. Cue mother of the errant child standing over and screaming at the mother who had the quiet word. Nice.

Aeryn · 14/08/2012 15:39

Next time, do say something. I'm surprised that the staff at the soft play never said anything though. They're usually pretty good at being in amongst things and keeping an eye on what's happening. At least in our local place.

If I ran a soft play centre I'd want my staff to not think all Parents will be vigilant or respectful of safety rules. Not only for the safety of everyone but to cover my own back incase of accidents. Plus, you want to be professional and show that you know how to run your business properly.

vj32 · 14/08/2012 15:49

That is why I am avoiding all soft play type places until the older kids are back at school. And the fact that it is twice as expensive.

BionicEmu · 14/08/2012 16:14

I know.exactly how you feel, and I too need to be more assertive.

A soft play near me does toddler mornings once a week outside of school holidays, so I tend to just go to those. No worries about older kids, and it means the toddlers can go and climb and slide on everything. Might be worth looking around and.seeing if anywhere near you does that?

Original poster

doublevodkaandcoke · 14/08/2012 16:21

Yes, I dont think I will go again until the holidays are over!

OP posts:

YouOldSlag · 14/08/2012 16:49

YANBU. I have a a 2yo and a 6yo. I don't let the 6yo in the under 3s area and often chuck him and his friends out!

It's awful when your LO is trying to play but gets scared by dive-bombing big kids who are out of control with excitement despite having their own HUGE "over 3s" area with massive astra slide..

amck5700 · 14/08/2012 17:05

I'd have (and I have in the past) just ignored the mother and said politely to the boys that they are not allowed in that area - as if you are unaware that they belong to her.

Noqontrol · 14/08/2012 17:08

Ha, the joys of soft play. May it bring you many years of joy. Seriously you need to man up a bit, tell the mother or tell the staff. Whats the mother going to do? Beat you up? Unfortunately this is unlikely to be the only time this stuff happens in soft play. Its better to man up than sit there seething quietly, as the only person who is angry is you. And try and avoid in the school holidays if you can, soft play is far more tolerable when the kids are back ay school.

TandB · 14/08/2012 17:12

Hmm. Under 3's area with lights and bubbles.

Gambados, perchance?

If so, there are a fair few parents who are convinced that the rules only apply to other people and have complete rhino skins if you try subtle hints and pointed looks.

I finished up shouting at another mother for the first time ever in there after her multiple half-hearted, wishy-washy attempts to cajole her 8 year-old into leaving the baby area, and after he ran over my then 5-month old baby, his foot actually making contact with DS2's head.

It was not my finest moment - shouting like a fishwife is Not The Done Thing in the middle of Chelsea - but it was certainly effective!

TandB · 14/08/2012 17:14

I was particularly narked since I had refused to let my own not-quite three-year old in as he is right on the height-limit for that area and perfectly capable of shifting for himself in the main play area. So why in the name of arse I should put up with children twice his size trampling the baby underfoot I don't know!

downbythewater · 14/08/2012 17:15

Just tell a member of staff. I have done this before. Though I admit I have let my 4yo in the under-2s area occasionally, it is hard when you are there alone with an older one and a little one, DD1 will play alone for a while and then come to find me with DD2. Plus she's scared of all the even older kids on the under-5s section!

MarysBeard · 14/08/2012 17:17

I'd tell the kids to calm down myself and not bother finding out who the parent was.

Guitargirl · 14/08/2012 17:21

I reckon over the years that I have been to different softplay places over 200 times, probably about 12 different venues. Each one of these has an 'under 3s section'. I have never NOT seen older children in these sections during school holidays. How many times have I seen the staff ask the children to leave? Once - and I remember it so clearly because it was so unusual. Softplay with a baby is a much more pleasant - and I use the word loosely - experience when the older children are at school.

bobbledunk · 14/08/2012 17:23

Yanbu, in future just tell the kids to get out, if the parent complains tell them to make sure their kids stay out of the toddler area and keep them under control if they don't want other people saying anything to them. Some parents are just obnoxious idiots.

Original poster

doublevodkaandcoke · 14/08/2012 17:28

It wasnt called Gambados Kungfu - I imagine that if you were in Chelsea, the mother that you were dealing with was not like the mother that was there yesterday...!

OP posts:

TandB · 14/08/2012 17:32

You'd be surprised! Hell hath no fury like someone who has paid a lot of money to get in and wants their precious firstborns to get their money's worth by sampling every possible activity - even the baby area!

weeonion · 14/08/2012 17:48

@noqontrol - "Seriously you need to man up a bit"???????????? Man up a bit - what does that mean in this context????

SofaKing · 14/08/2012 18:03

Trying to stop big ones bullying is futile if the parent doesn't want you to though!

My ds1 was pushed over and badly hurt in football area of soft play because he snatched the ball from an older child - dd and ds1 were in there and I was outside with ds2. When I asked older boy what had happened, his gran came up and started screaming at me that her child had never pushed anyone, my Ds had fallen over, and that anyway he shouldn't have snatched the ball. True he shouldn't have snatched but didnt deserve two square inches of skin removed from his arm!

She continued to shout until we had to leave, her husband shouted at us too as we were leaving. Soft play staff nowhere to be seen but while leaving and paying 15 quid we were told they did not get involved in disputes between parents.

Never going back there (ds is now scared to anyway) and if I ever see that woman again I am going to rip out her eyeballs and make her eat them.

I'm another one who needs to be more assertive at the time!

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