Could you tell me if im being unreasonable here (apologies in advance, I'm on a mobile which isnt helpful in helping assist punctuation!)
I'm my best friend's bridesmaid (alongside her cousin who has since pulled out and a mutual friend whom I introduced the future bride to).
My best friend has always been a lovely girl and a good friend. Her only issue has that she seems to be in love with the idea of being 'in love' and cannot stand to be single. I can't relate to this as I'm quite happy to be alone than settle for second best. Over the past few years I have seen her be with a non-stop list of boyfriends who she has declared undying love for within a mattet of weeks, moved in and then when they have split talk about with disgust. She doesnt seem to have a type but if someone shows an interest she seems to instantly think they are wonderful. I just don't get this; she is gorgeous and a fab person to boot excluding this. When she gets with a new man, no one hears from her for months until they have split.
In December, she was heartbroken as her latest boyfriend had dumped her harshly. Her boss who was out mentioned to me he had always liked her. After calling him "camp", "gay" and a "nightmare" for the past year I thought she wouldnt be interested. I mentioned what he told me as a bit of a confidence boost to her as Ive alwats thought he seemed a nice, handsome lad so did it to lift her confidence. After 20 minutes they were all over each other.
He had just split from a woman 15 years older who didnt want to have children or marry. Within 3weeks my friend and him were engaged. They then booked a 30k wedding within a matter of weeks.
The wedding in fairness is eight months away but I just cant get excited for it. It doesnt feel like true love to me and even if it did itd still feel too long away for me to get too giddy. I wasnt really asked to be a bridesmaid, it was just presumed and I didnt want to be cruel in saying no.
I havent seen my friend in months apart from when she demands I have to come to wedding dress fittings etc for the 3rd time in perhaps the most toddler unfriendly bridal shop going (I have my toddler with me most of the time). The last time I went I brought my little girl who had to miss her friends party as I was given a guilt trip about being there. I turned up on time to the fitting, waited 15 minutes, no one else was to be seen, and had to leave as my little one had filled her nappy (nice) to some horrible toilets 3 streets away. By the time I got back everyone else had arrived. We then waited another 30 minutes for her to change into the dress (again). By this time my one year old was bored, so I told my friend she looked beautiful but we were going so it'd be nice and calm for her. She just shouted "will someone get my shoes from the car". On the way out I (like a complete TIT) fell down the steep flight of stairs with no rail holding my baby. I didnt want to make a fuss so as no one had noticed I got back to the carand promptly threw up after making sure my baby was strapped in safe (from shock I think). I then cried all the way home and was shaking as I very nearly dropped my little one and had bruised all my left side throwing myself against the wall so I cushioned her. I got a text after about 2 hours saying she was disappointed that I didnt seem bothered about her dress or wedding.
She never contacts me or any of her friends unless its about the wedding. I asked if we could have a night in at mine with booze and a takeout a month in advance with all our friends and she said no as she had no money. I just feel like shes treating me and my tot like a wedding accesory and two dolls to dress up on her big day. When they announced their engagement I sent a huge bunch of flowers, have offered from the start to pay for my own bridesmaid outfit which Im happy for her to choose- I'll wear anything, its only clothing to me. If I suggest coffees, gym etc I get excuses. Her cousin has now told her she no longer wants to bea bridesmaid and Im now tempted to do the same.
Any advice as outsiders (I have told you everything so me if Im being a plonker, I can take it I promise ;) )
Xx