AIBU to not want the Whole family at DD christening

[horseynewmum]

Me and DH are not agreeing on who to invited to our DD christening. I think it should be close family and friends so my mum and 2 brothers and his parents, brother and sister and his nan, but DH wants to invite his 3 lots of aunts and uncles and six cousins plus their partners and children. the aunt, uncles and cousins plus the adds on we rarely see maybe once every 2 years for family occassions and if it werent for a funeral and a wedding we wouldnt of seen them this year.

I want to have people at DD christening who would support her in her life and see her reguarly. DH says if I dont invite all the other members of his family his parents wont come.

So AIBU?

Is it worth getting all up tight about? Unless they are The Munsters in disguise, is a church service, a bit of buffet after and seeing everyone who wants to celebrate with you such a really big issue?

You might not have the same deference to family connections that your DH does, but it is his family and he obviously enjoys their company.

Gawd
Invite them all
Not worth a fight over
Nice that lots of people want to get involved

If the Christening is at a normal Family Service like at our church anybody can be there including all the people who attend the church every Sunday.

Well you won't see them at family occasions either if you stop inviting each other to family occasions.

I have uncles/aunts/cousins who I can go for years without seeing but they are still family and they have, for want of a better expression, got my back.

Invite them all, I put Christenings in the same catagory as weddings and funerals. All family celebrations and as hippy says the church is likely to be full of unrelated people anyway.

Random O/T musing, good a place as any to park it. I just don't get the his family/my family thing I see on a lot of posts. Surely when you get married it all becomes one big family?

Just let them come, a few extra people won't matter will it.

Does it really matter? I wouldn't want to cause a rift over something that should be an easy and pleasant event to plan. You almost certainly need to accept that families are different. What might suit yours isn't necessarily a more superior option to the way your dh's family do things. Also, it's rather bit arrogant of you to write off a considerable chunk of your dh's family as people who won't support your dd. Who knows what the future will bring?

Oh and they may only be your extended in laws, but they are your childs blood relatives.

YABU. Family is family.

I hardly ever see some of my family, but we would all go out of our way for each other if we needed to, even if we hadn't spoken for years. It's nice for your dds place in the family to be cemented properly by inviting everyone to her celebration.

And anyway, if your dh wants them there, then they should be there. It makes very little difference to you, o why would you want to piss all over what he wants just for the sake of it? His opinion is as important as yours, but more so if this is about his side of the family.

I would invite them all. It's nice to get everyone together for a happy reason.

Were they invited to your wedding and do you send them Christmas cards?

My ILs weren't invited to dcs christening. We only had about 12 people.