13 yo DS and laptop

[3teenhell]

He has a laptop that i insist having administrator rights on and also put parental control prgramme on to block certain aspects of the internet.

He says i am controlling and he should be trusted

i say he is a child ( don't think he liked that) and i will maintain control over this.

made worse as ex updated his laptop and did none of this so apparently he trusts him ( DS argument) more likely the twat has no cares what his son could come across

So am i evil controlling dragon??

I dont understand why people ban their kids from Facebook. Surely it is better to let them on it with supervision rather than exclude them from something that the rest of their friends will be on. Banning it just makes it more of a temptation, they can easily (and probably do) set up an account without your knowledge, and then be too scared to come to you if they do have any problems with it.

So am i evil controlling dragon??

No you are a responsible parent.

I'm a 45 year old woman and I have come accross things that I didn't want to see.

He is old enough to be prosecuted for illegal downloads / images that he may not have intended to down load.

If you are walking down the street you are unlikly to come accross a sexual predator / fraudster / axe murderer but if you wander around the internet you can encounter all three within hours.

You would not let your child wander around a geographical area populated by the above, so why would you let your child do it in a virtual world?

Amused by people saying they are friends with their kids on Facebook so they can see what's bring posted. Privacy settings mean your children could be posting plenty without your knowledge, they can just post to "friends except mum" or create groups, eg "school mates only".

I thought that too ThreeWheels. My DD lives with her Dad and he is her friend, so he can see what she is doing. She moved in with him when she was 14, so still needed a high level of supervision. Not so much now. Luckily, by lending her my phone and such, I was able to keep up with changes of passwords for around a year and a half.

She is fairly sensible and always has been though.

I remember dealing with the fallout from a 13 year old using a youngster's chat room which we were supervising. Unfortunately, the 'youngsters' included much more sophisticated and aware 16 and 17 year olds who sucked her in gradually and then went for her. The girl came close to ending it.

13 is not an adult. They may appear to be technologically savvy but they're mostly just babies in terms of social awareness. You keep on supervising yet, 3teenhell.

I am planning the stealth supervision approach with key loggers and screen shot software when my DC are older.

There are things I would absolutely turn a blind eye to, but if someone is showing them explicit porn or if they are downloading stuff illegally I damn well want to know about it.

catholicdad,

I am not doing anything more than a lot of the other posters are doing on here for their own kids, maybe it is how my posts are written which I know are assertive and forward.

My son was very nearly seriously damaged, luckily for him it was spotted very soon and I acted. Nothing is carpet banned in this house except facebook, he knows why there has been much discussion, he isnt that fussed, he says its full of silly girls bitching and gossiping anyway.

My son knows and does come to me with any worries or questions, we are a very open family, I wont apologise for trying to keep my child safe.
He has turned out well balanced articulate and empathetic to his mates and his family, I am incredibly proud of him, and tell him all the time.

We are living in a different world to when I was younger, sometimes I think it's the rules of the jungle the way some people act.

Oh and just to clarify it was not accessed from our computer, as much as I'de like too I cant control everything waits for it

Key logging... Tell me more please

this kind of thing

Thank you for link shall have a look! I am pleased to see most people feel i am not bu

i ban facebook because its not suitable for kids.it becomes unbanned when they cease to be kids same as porn and anything else unsuitable.

so far not one of my kids has even attempted to use it.

tewi why stealth? why not just make them aware you will be looking?

I said stealth because although I would let them know I have access and am able to know what they are doing. (Which is only fair IMO) I won't be asking them to log on so I can look - but doing it in my own way, which means I can look whenever I want and they can't get around my supervision by deleting their browsing history or using private browsers.

I won't be telling them what program I use either.

I just feel like that way gives them a bit more freedom to explore the internet. I'm not looking to censor them, as I say, I just want to be sure that they are safe.

Sounds fine to me ds (13) whinges about the parental controls, on the lap top, but I know how easy it is to come across unsuitable things through totally innocent googling.

For example google 'guinea pigs' and you get pictures of dead and cooked gps, upsetting for my younger dd. If you go on youtube to look at old children's programmes; you not only get some frankly disgusting comments underneath, but also mockup crude versions of the actual programmes.

As for facebook, it is just a vehicle for bullying; and afaik was designed especially to show highlight who is cool/goodlooking and who is not. Not theright place for my shy awkward ds.