To be fed up with DH over this (trivial)?

[MalibuStacy]

So, I have just started up a new business and am just about to have a baby. I am not making much money at the moment but I am hopeful that I can build up the business over the coming months.

So, I have run out of stock. I have to buy the stock from overseas and the postage is very, very high. It just so happens that MIL will be coming to stay with us in a few days from overseas, and I could therefore order the stock and have it sent to her house, and she could bring it with her. So, minimal postage.

However, when I approached DH about this, he put a range of obstacles in the way (as he always bloody does!). First of all he ignored the question. Then he said he wasn?t sure when she was coming. Then he said she might be going somewhere else before she came here. Then he said he didn't have her number. Then he said maybe I should order different stock. And on it went. He is always like this. If he doesn?t want to do something, he first ignores the request then puts all kinds of obstacles in the way. I know he doesn?t want to put her out (her needs always trump mine) but I will have to pay about 300 pounds postage to get the stock here and I just can?t afford it.

He keeps suggesting that I wait until my friend comes over in the beginning of September, as she will be putting an order in for the same stock and we can share the postage costs. But what about my clients until then? He is blaming me because I should have sorted it out last week, but I really didn?t think it would be such a big deal to ask MIL.

I am so annoyed with him. I don?t have MIL?s contact details, so can?t even ask her myself. I know she doesn?t like me, maybe that?s why he doesn?t want to ask her. But we are having a baby in a few weeks and money is very tight, so I would hope that she would want to be a bit supportive.

Sorry for the winge. I suspect I might be being ABU somewhere, but I?m not sure.

Agree with others its not really a business if it relies of favours from friends and family to get stock delivered to you, can you make a profit if delivery to you is 300 pounds?

Can you get a second hand push chair/ pram to start with and (if you want) a shiny, fancy new one when you have the money?

TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic, it doesn't rely on favours. It just seemed ideal that MIL was coming over right when I need stock and am short of cash. It is going to cost us a lot of money to have her here, it always does, and it is usually me who ends up paying for everything.

Yes, I am looking for a second-hand pushchair. Every day I have a look at the notice board in the supermarket. The only one I have seen is a second-hand Bugaboo for 400 quid!!!

It would be nice if MIL helped you out, but as the relationship between you is bad YABU to expect her to do you the favour, and your DH should come straight out and say why he isn't going to ask her, but it does sound as if he's trying to avoid confrontation... Why do you always end up paying for the costs of the visit from a MIL you don't get on with? Maybe you and your DH need to talk about that part?

Can I ask where you live if the only second hand pram you have seen advertised was 400 (quid? presumably you are not in the UK though)? Does the country you are in have ebay or Amazon? You can get a new suitable from birth pram for a quarter of that if you are not fixed on having a certain model/ brand etc.

Yeah, well, I'm not doing it this time. They can bloody well starve!

I need a pushchair that can cope with the rough terrain of where we live. She also needs to sleep in it, so that is a consideration.

You don't sound like a business woman, to be honest. You sound like a child playing at being a business woman.

I am now assuming it is some sort of beauty business and it is beauty supplies you are importing.

You still need to include all your costs for your products in your charges or you will never make a profit.

Some business advice would be a good thing for you, rather than whinging like a child that MIL doesn't like you or whatever this thread is really about.

Honestly!

www.amazon.co.uk/Britax-B-Smart-Pushchair-Chili-Pepper/dp/B005X4LW96/ref=sr_1_4?s=baby&ie=UTF8&qid=1344838770&sr=1-4

:)

I know that's a UK listing. I am very curious about where you live and can't get a good, suitable 2nd hand pram for under ?100?

You don't sound like a business woman, to be honest. You sound like a child playing at being a business woman.

Some business advice would be a good thing for you, rather than whinging like a child that MIL doesn't like you or whatever this thread is really about.

How dare you be so fucking rude, Tee2072??? Actually, I have loads of business experience and an MBA. This is a start-up business and we don't have much money, so I am having to cut costs where I can.

I am leaving this thread now

Why are people being so awful to her? AIBU doesn't give you the right to upset someone. The OP is being perfectly reasonable in not wanting to spend £300 on postage.

OP, I wouldn't spend a penny on your MIL if she's like that. She's your husband's responsibility, not yours.

It's not reasonable to not want to spend on the postage because it's business related. Those costs have to be built into the business and not rely upon favours from visiting relatives who are perfectly within their rights to refuse.
Responses may have been blunt but I no one was horrible, IMO.

The OP's problem is her DH, MIL who doesn't like her and probably being knackered with the last few weeks of her pregnancy. All that is separate from the postage issue about which she is being unreasonable, IMO.

YABU, I wouldn't like to travel with loads of extra stuff even if I liked the person I was doing a favour to. Also, maybe your DH is worried that this unreasonable request would make your MIL like you even less. It certainly gives her a lot of ammunition for any future confrontations.

Putting the business on hold while you get sorted with the baby is probably a good idea. You do need to prioritise the baby's needs . The business really should stand alone, and clearly you'll get nowhere with asking your DH / MIL for help, whatever the import tax situation is.

Your problem is your DH putting your MIL ahead of you and the baby. Why aren't you both funding the baby equipment? Why do the costs of MIL's visit fall to you rather than household funds ?

I have to say, Tee, that if your business model for a small start up would pay £300 delivery for something that could come for free, I'd take the OP's way over yours any day (writing as the owner of a successful small business!).

She wasn't asking for business advice, she was asking about the DH/MIL dynamic.

OP, your husband is being an unhelpful arse, but if he won't help, and your MIL is not keen on you, I'd say you probably have to pay for the delivery, annoyingly.

But don't worry about the pushchair, get a good supportive sling (babies weigh practically nothing at the beginning) and get a pushchair later. Don't worry about shopping for and feeding MIL, your DH should be doing this mainly because it's his mum, but esp as you are heavily pregnant.

It's your husband's call, sorry. His mother. You haven't told us how much of an inconvenience transporting it would be to her - is it heavy/bulky, is she old/likely to be carrying a lot anyway?