to wonder where the parents are?

[TheQueenOfDiamonds]

When i was a kid, We weren't allowed on the internet unsupervised. When we got to about 13/14 we would be allowed to use the computer in the living room, with light supervision but parental controls etc set (My mum is pretty computer savvy so had good settings and security programmes).

Browsing through adverts online looking at things i can't have and i regularly come across adverts that make me think 'Do your parents know you've posted that?!'.

One of the most worrying ones was an advert posted by a young girl, detailing her whereabouts at certain times of day etc. She put so much information in this advert [That her parents blatantly knew nothing about, and she had no intention of telling them about] that i was able to phone the riding school she attended and give her name and lesson time (I rang them as a few of us were concerned about her personal safety over the internet, and the instructor said she would have a chat with her about it).

Tonight i've come across a wanted ad 'Wanting a gypsy cob around 17hh because i'm 13 and tall for my age' along with two other wanted adverts wanting a saddle for this cob she is looking to get, and a field for '"£200 a month or week whichever"

I remember what it was like being a child wanting a pony. But i have to wonder, where the hell are her parents? My mum would never have let me place an unrealistic advert, or respond to an unsuitable one - Ive known people who've let their kids ring up about riding extremely green/young/difficult horses after 3 lessons.

I feel sorry for the child who will end up sorely disappointed and i think the parents are solely to blame - The poor child obviously doesn't know anything about horses, So why are the parents not researching and looking into something suitable for her? Why is she using the internet in this way? Where the hell are they?

Not in three places at once. I can't possibly police DD1, DD2 and make dinner.

You don't have to be hovering over their shoulder with a PC though. A keylogging programme is easy to set up - Thatway you can monitor younger DCs usage and if anything untoward pops up you know and can deal with it.

if you live your life thinking thinkig there are nutters and murderours everywhere you would never venture out of your front door

The unrealistic ads will correct themselves, when the kids get narked sellers. The far more important issue is the ads with personal information. That the parents definitely ought to talk to their kids about. Is this some sort of local message board or Gumtreet?

My post has absolutely no relevance to your OP, sorry. But you've made me feel really old with this sentence - "When i was a kid, We weren't allowed on the internet unsupervised. When we got to about 13/14 we would be allowed to use the computer in the living room". When I was a kid there was no bloody internet.

I like to think I monitor my dses computer access pretty well. But like StarBallBunny said, I can't be in 3 places at once, and ds2 (9) managed to not only set up a MovieStar Planet account for himself (using his own email for parental consent), but also set that account up showing his own real name. Luckily he didn't have it for long as I check over his shoulder quite regularly, but he still managed to rack up some friends on there. Cue long chat to remind him about internet safety, and a swift password change so he can't access account.

DS1 regularly nips on You Tube to watch as much of Southpark (which is banned in our house) as possible, and to find as many sweary music videos as he can before I catch him.

Yes I have parental controls but they make me approve EVERY page my children download, including EVERY page of Club Penguin and EVERY page of Lego/Playmobil whatever EVERY time they open it. I just can't stand there with them for their entire internet session so I let them go on a completely open net and keep a sharp ear out from the kitchen. Some they get away with but the vast majority I catch.

Germy - I don't live my life like that, And it's very rare that something would concern me to the extent that i ring up a riding school i've never been to to voice my concerns.

Pluto - It was on preloved a couple of months ago. I feel bad for the children who will annoy sellers/end up disappointed, because if the parents actually did something, they wouldn't end up disappointed/pissing people off.

Stacee - Sorry about that haha! I felt odd last week when one of the girls at my yard was amazed we used to use mobile phones that were not even colour screen! Then we had a brilliant time talking about the game 'snake' while the young girl looked at us like we were mad.

Harriet - Surely if you know your children are doing things you don't like, a keylogger would make sense? As then you know what they're signing up for, and can confront them about it and they can't deny it.

I don't know. I guess maybe i am being a bit unreasonable.

I just don't like the thought of some gullible teenage girl going off to view a pony that doesn't exist.

I'm generally not one to be silly about these things - gosh, i've met lots of people on the internet, But it does sometimes make me stop and think 'what if'

A keylogger logs every single keystroke! Would you really want to read through every msn, facebook etc conversation? I've got some of mine still from when I was 13, they're dire.

Children are going to come across things online that you'd rather protect them from, just like in real life. And just like in real life it isn't practical to wrap them up and restrict them and never let them do or try anything for themselves, it's about setting appropriate boundaries and giving them the skills they need to make good decisions. And obviously that involves telling them about protecting their personal information.

Bertie - You can delete them after, Or get a logger that separates logs by programme/website - Then you'd only have to look through the list of websites and check on any that they shouldn't really have been on, or have no reason that you know of to be on [IE advertising websites].

You wouldn't allow your child to go up to a random person in real life and get in a car with them. Why is it ok to do it on the internet? Not letting them request and arrange meetings with complete strangers [IE on preloved etc] is not wrapping them in cotton wool.

QoD, with regard to the sort of ads you describe, some of them are extremely unwise in their content from young girls, so YADNBU in my opinion.

Most kids I know access the internet via their phones.

Well yeah, duh, that's why you have an Serious Discussion with your teenager about meeting up with people from the internet, the same as you do about them going off with a stranger in real life. I met one of my internet friends when I was 16, in a public place, with a group of friends. My mum knew about this, she was fine with it, she trusted my judgement.

I know there is some questionable stuff online and maybe some parents are naive enough not to talk to their teens at all or the kids are doing it behind their back or whatever, but it's a bit rich to come onto a website which is used by parents (and, presumably, computer literate and internet savvy ones) and announce that "parents" aren't supervising their teens on the internet, because most of them do!

Especially to follow it up with "when I was a child..." implying that you're far too young to have teenage children yourself (I think we must be a similar age so not having a dig at that, but you did shoot yourself in the foot a bit there!)

How is it rich? If the parents are supervising them then there are a lot of stupid and dangerous parents out there - Why would you condone your beginner child replying to and trying to set up trials of difficult horses? I really prefer to think the parents just aren't bothering to supervise in a 'it'll never happen to me' kind of way. To think that there are such idiots out there who would give their children the go ahead to place these ads is beyond comprehension for me.

I don't understand the last bit? I'm 22 if you were wondering.

Do you mean i made it obvious that i don't have teens? No, obviously i don't. I don't need to have teens to think some of the parents responsible for teens are moronic and irresponsible! I haven't announced that "Parents" aren't supervising their teens, i asked if i was BU to ask where "THE parents" are, as in, the parents of the girl who placed the ad, not parents in general.

Oh blooming movie planet.

DD2 went one better and set up her account at someone else's house.

No one here is allowed FB, but I know both DDs go on it at friends houses.

DD1(14) I don't worry about her friends very sensible and has computer literate parents so her security should be properly set.

DD2's friends think they know it all. I just have to repeat no friends you don't know and no personal info. She still insists on
using her real NN grrrr (yes I know it's not especially rare, but!)

I didn't think of going to friends houses. I used to go to my friends houses to watch pirated dvds of films my mum had told me i couldn't watch!

I have no experience in the horse world, other than saying when i was a child my friend was into horses, would post and respond to ads, in the paper etc I assume, to ride and care for horses. i dont think her mum really had any idea who or where, I remember going all over our part of the county with her. seems similar to what you post about.

maybe the parents are supervising and vetting what she is posting and responding to?

There was no internet when I was a kid

We got a pc when DD2 started school she's nearly 17 now and there was strict conditions on them using their computers they all kept history and conversations on msn and no passwords dd2 was bullied by SIL posing as her dd via msn at 13 grown frigging woman we printed the conversation off as proof.

All kids need to be internet savvy eldest who's 21 is shocked at some of the stuff kids post now.

EnthusiasticTroll - If the parents are aprooving their actions then that is even worse!

I mean that they maybe allowing the dc to post the messages and then helping them vet who they are responding to and supervising when meeting up.

To explain the horse thing - I've seen people who are blatantly novices responding to adverts for young, difficult horses. Not all horses that can be ridden are suitable for just anyone, some horses are more difficult to handle for various reasons. Itd be like giving a toddler a great dane to go off and take care of and keep under control.

Maybe, sometimes its blindingly obvious the parents have no idea though, as it was with the girl I phoned up about.

The girl wanting a gypsy cobs parents clearly know nothing if they've allowed her to post an advert asking for an animal that doesn't exist! (Gypsy cobs don't get that big!) And she is also wanting a saddle for a horse she hasn't got yet, again, if the parents have aprooved this they know nothing and shouldn't be looking to own one.

Ok I understand the Horse thing now, Yes very irresponsible.

Phones - all internet connected these day. You simply cannot monitor everything. even if you are hands on (I dont allow PC/Laptops etc in bedrooms) I can't stop them doing things that maybe they shouldnt be doing at someone elses house, or on a mates phone.

Perhaps there should be laws about under 16s owning and buying horses, as they're such big animals, you should need to be over 16 or have a parent/guardian with you to buy one.

I think the current law on pets says you have to be over 12? It should be 16 for cats, dogs and horses I think.