To leave dd1 to tidy her room alone

[greenwichgroove]

Even though its really bad?

I have been nagging and helping her for months, every weekend. She continued to leave everything a mess, dirty clothes, food and stuff in her bloody bed, the floor an absoloute tip. I wouldn't mind but she then gets stressed at the mess!

I said to her next time it got so bad I was not helping.

She has learning difficulties (dypraxia, dyslexia, mild aspergers) but they aren't bad enough for her not to know better.

Shes asked me what i was tidying and i said nothing so shes now crying so I feel guilty.

How old is she ?

Nearly 10 but more like a 7/8 year old

Can you help her get into a routine of doing certain bits on certain days? So every day she brings washing down, one day she polishes, another she makes sure everything is away etc? May help her more than being told to tidy.

We've given all ours clothes baskets in their rooms, which has seemed to work re dirty clothes on floors. They arnt aloud food and drink in their rooms anymore though as they can't be trusted not to spill it

I think the task is just too much for her, hence her distress at not really knowing where to start. Especially if she's more like a 7/8 year old than a 10 year old. Perhaps you need to introduce routines aimed at avoiding the mess building up in the first place? Even if this means a certain amount of daily nagging reminders. Perhaps don't allow food upstairs, either. But certainly a nightly routine that involves putting dirty washing in the basket and general "stuff" wherever it lives (get some storage boxes if necessary) would help keep the room cleaner and rule out the need for a massive mucking-out session.

Maybe she needs to learn to live with the mess? I am dyslexic and my organisational skills make it tricky for me to keep things tidy, my DP likes things to be tidy so he tidies up but I have learnt to like the disorder :)

Thanks all. I went and helped her. I have been doing the daily nagging, one task at a time for ages but she's like a lazy teen! She can't be bothered but then whinges about the mess.