AIBU to expect dh to get kids ready when I am ill??

[Pinkforever]

I have the worse toothache of my life. Had it for 2 days now and painkillers arent even touching it.

Was up at 5am this morning as tossing and turning all night. Went back to bed at 9 and left dh to get kids breakfasts.

Dh and kids are going to his parents for dinner today. I had already said I wasnt going so had a bath and then cleaned kitchen-bombsite after dh cooked breakfast-and flung the hoover round quickly.

Had planned after that to go back to bed as tooth really killing. Dh had given kids a bath but hadnt gotten them dry,clothes ready etc. He then went in a huff because their clothes werent ironed-they were but kids have a habit of stuffing them in drawers so get creased again!

He also moaned because I refused to get out of bed to look for youngest dc trainers. He eventually found them and stomped out of the house muttering something about me being "lazy"

AIBU to think he is an arse and that he should be able to get kids bloody dressed and ready once a week??.....

He's an arse, they're his responsibility too and toothache is the worst. Have you been to the dentist?

He should get them ready sometimes even when you aren't in pain. The lazy comment would really piss me off.

Thanks yellow-no to the dentist. I have a severe dentist phobia and havent been in about 15 years

I actually dont even have a dentist but if this pain doesnt stop will have to try and get an emergency appointment at the dental hospital-honestly is the worst pain I have ever felt-100 times worse than childbirth!!

Dh is the type that when he is ill he lays on the counch moaning and groaning and hogging the remote

Whereas even though I am in complete agony I am still trying to soldier on-though I did almost blub in boots yesterday when the pharmicist told me they had no oil of cloves in stock

i think it would be reasonable to shove a pillow over his face while he's sleeping.

totally see a dentist, if it's been going on this long it probably won't go away on it's own.

hope you feel better soon xx

terry-he does get them ready every sunday usually now but only after years of not lifting a bloody finger!! however after getting good advice on here I have largely put a stop to that!

Now he gets up every sunday while I get a lie in and breakfast in bed! its just the stupid things like pretending not to know where the kids clothes.shoes,bags are etc in the hope that I will do it for him....

I get it as well! DH is great but every nappy he changes requires me to 'just pass' the cream or wipes. I don't need an assistant to change a nappy.

Oh pink :( toothache is horrible isn't it and I totally share your dental phobia. I got in a panic this morning just because DD (wrongly) thought her tooth was wobbly!

Yeah he's being an arse. Even if you were well, why is it just YOUR job? He's a parent too.

He is being totally selfish over getting the Dc ready.

However, maybe he is frustrated that you won't see a dentist?

OP, I had dental phobia too. Had the worst toothache ever 6 months ago and just refused to go and refused to go. Eventually I was actually crying with pain and unable to move or eat. Went to the dental hospital where an absolutely lovely student dentist put me at my ease, held my hand, and solved my woes. She actually made me feel a lot better about being at the dentist.

The relief I felt when I had the injection was just immense. I've never been so relieved in my life.

Please go and get it sorted OP, it will just get worse. I've found the dental hospitals a lot nicer than regular dentist.

his kids too why should it be you who has ti find everything oh and he is being a grumpy arse ,

Obviously he's being a dick. But YABVU to avoid the dentist, you really must go urgently, then get help with your fear and get a regular dentist, there are even ones that specialise in people with phobias!

Went to the dental hospital where an absolutely lovely student dentist

My dh has to go to a dental hospital too well it is a unit he said they have been great with him and he has had loads of treatment, he is phobic, OP please go to the dentist tomorrow toothache wont go away on its own and try and get neurofen plus it is a good painkiller for dental pain

Don´t soldier on-leave it all to him.

I bet he´s thinking if you can clean & hoover you can do everything!

I use corsodyl mouthwash whenever I get toothache btw - its really strong so while it won't solve the problem itself it does sometimes help with the pain - I do dilute it a bit as it really stings while you rinse

salt water too I know it tastes rank but it does help OP you might have an abcess (oh god spelling )

OP, can I just say, if you havent been to the dentist for so long, things have really really changed now.

I was very dental phobic (mainly due to my dad dying due to the dentists incompetency).

I was in absolute agony a few weeks ago due to a broken tooth, and I knew I would have to get it sorted out.

Believe me, it is nothing like it used to be. They put a numbing gel on your gum before doing anything, and you do not feel a thing, honestly, you really dont.

it sounds like he doesn't think you are ill because it's "only" tooth ache.

Is he like this with every type of illness, or is it just this one?

you're not helping your own situation by not going to the dentist, though - you really must make an emergency appointment and then book into a dentist for real (the emergency appointment won't put you onto their register - you'll need another appointment to do that)

Tell them when you book the appointment that you have a phobia, and they will have ways of making it easy for you.

OP, if the pain is that bad I would go to a dentist. They are much more aware of people with phobias now, and most are great at giving you ways to cope and distract you. Also, it's unlikely that they can do anything at the first appointment as you may need antibiotics to treat the infection that's causing you such bad pain.

Oh, and your DH is being a bit pathetic. Can he really not get the kids ready by himself? That's pretty poor for a grown man.

I hope you feel better soon. If it helps (till you can get to a dentist) you can take a combination of paracetamol and ibuprofen for a short while without ill effects. Just don't take it for an extended period of time!

PS that was advice given to me by GP when I couldn't get to a dentist for a few days. Obviously approach painkillers with caution and don't take high doses/combined for long periods ie greater than a few days unless you have medical advice to do so.

No YANBU, I an in bed feeling poorly sick with stomach ache and DH has taken the kids to his Mum's off his own bat.
Hope you feel better soon.

hat's right- you can have( for no more than 24 hours usually), 2 ibuprofen, then 2hours later 2 paracetomol, then after 2 hours, 1 ibuprofen, then after 2 hours another paracetomol, like that

but you're not supposed to take more than 8 paras and 6 ibuprofen in 24 hours.

He should be leaving you to it. What you even cleaning for?
Poor little man having to dress his own children all on his lonesome. Ffs.
Kids clothes do not need ironing! That is hilarious that he would notice that.

Usually if you are in that much pain, you will have an infection, not to scare you, but it can enter your jaw bone, then you are looking at dental surgery (if you are lucky).

Go now and get it sorted out.

I have been ill for several weeks now, and DH (who is not in good health himself) has not so much as hinted at complaint in that time. It wouldn't occur to him. Our children are half his after all and it is natural for him to do anything childcare related (just as it would be if I was healthy!).

How dare he call you lazy when you are in pain and it is so clearly he who is lazy. What is he like when he is ill?

Agree about the ironing, I mean WTF. Surely he knows where the iron is if he's that bothered!