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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat question

26 replies

butisthismyname · 12/08/2012 09:26

This is a tricky one. Our next door but one neighbours have a beautiful old cat. he's recently been in an accident and has lots of injuries which they have obviously spent loads of money on, so they must love him. However, they've gone away on holiday and i can see no evidence of anyone coming round to feed him. He has sort of adopted us and moved in - the dcs adore him and he likes to sleep in our conservatory and snuggle up with us. The thing is, he's clearly hungry and they have warned us before not to feed him (we don;t really 'know' them, but I chatted generally once about how he loves to come round) He's so sad and thin looking and i am really tempted. WIBU to give him some food, or not? :(

OP posts:
mellen · 12/08/2012 09:28

Are you sure no-one is feeding him? Cats are brilliant at looking starving. If they have told you not to feed him then presumably he has some special dietary needs?
Can you contact the neighbours while they are away - email? facebook?

icecold · 12/08/2012 09:30

Put a note through the door, asking whoever is looking after cats to reassure that there is someone feeding him, whilst owners are away. Then if you hear nothing, you can feed him

Cats are master manipulators, and he probably has the whole street inviting him for dinner. She's right to ask you not to feed him.

MadgeHarvey · 12/08/2012 09:31

They're away on holiday. Trust me - the cat ain't going to grass you up. Just feed it.

icecold · 12/08/2012 09:32

She probably just asked you not to feed him, so he doesn't move in with you. Some cats get really obese, scranning at all the neighbours also

LisasCat · 12/08/2012 09:32

Stick a note through their door, exlaining your dilemma and giving your contact details. So if they have got a friend or a different neighbour coming round to feed the cat, he/she can let you know. Do you know which vet might have treated him after the accident? Probably worth a call on Monday morning. Even if you do decide to feed him after no response to your note, he may be on a special diet.

Original poster
butisthismyname · 12/08/2012 09:32

I'm a sucker :( I guess what worried me, is that if someone is feeding him, then are probably leaving food out (pretty sure they don;t have a catflap) and another cat is getting his food. Honestly, flipping sad looking animals!! I'll put a note through- good plan Smile

OP posts:
mellen · 12/08/2012 09:33

"the cat ain't going to grass you up"

He might inadvertently depending on how he reacts to the food.

TirednessKills · 12/08/2012 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoryCeilingCat · 12/08/2012 09:35

Does he have one of those automated feeders maybe, where the cover on the bowl opens at a certain time?

When I cat sit for my friend, I'm there super-early in the morning (like 6:30am) on way to work, so maybe whoever's visiting is also there at a slightly antisocial time?

Also, depends how long they've gone away for - when we only had 2 cats we'd put down lots of dry food & plenty of water & they'd be fine for a weekend (also had a cat flap so came and went as they pleased, and probably supplemented diet with mice!)

MadgeHarvey · 12/08/2012 09:36

Oh I see. The cat has allergies. Right. Well don't feed the cat a peanut butter sandwich OP. Keep schtum and you might get away with it.
Or you could let the bugger starve - you know, just in case.

lljkk · 12/08/2012 09:37

It's possible whoever they lined up to look after them has flaked out, isn't turning up. Agree about the note, but I'd probably feed him a bit, too.

He's probably more lonely than hungry, looking for Love!

TirednessKills · 12/08/2012 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 12/08/2012 09:41

I agree, cats are master manupulaters. Mine used to visit every house on the street daily, and most fed him. He would come trotting up to me as soon as I arrived home from work, beg for food, wolf down a pouch of food then go outside (if I was lucky) and vomit it up within a few minutes. I was do worried about him not eating that I spoke to neighbours about his apparent allergy to pouches and please not to feed him, it was only then that I realised the greedy little sod was getting about 6/7 pouches of food a day and the reason he was puking it back up was there literally wasn't any room left in his stomach!

Original poster
butisthismyname · 12/08/2012 09:43

I think he's looking for love more than food. They have a dog too, assume that's gone with them, and always looks a bit 'sad'. I'm such a softie. At present he is curled up on dd's seat in her playroom, looking miserable and lonely. I try to put him out as much as possible, even carry him to their door, but he just runs back (cat V human sprint back to my house must amuse other neighbours ..) I must Get A Grip!!

OP posts:
FutureNannyOgg · 12/08/2012 09:52

One of my cats yowls like the world is ending if he thinks food might happen. Even if he has just been fed.

If I feed him anything other than one of 2 brands of dried food, he gets awful diarhea (completely liquid) which he won't do in the litter tray and tries to "bury" under anything he can drag to it (post, curtain hems, stray socks). I would be livid if I came back from holiday to find a house full of runny cat shit because someone had ignored my request not to feed him.
All it takes is one person nipping in once or twice a day, are you honestly watching so closely you wouldn't miss it?

midori1999 · 12/08/2012 09:55

My cat has food down constantly, but if I dare forget to keep it topped up and it's been empty for say, five minutes, she honestly looks like she's starving!!! All mewing and trying to trip me up. Hmm

I agree after all his care it's really unlikely they have left him without food/someone to care for him. It's also a bad idea to feed him, especially if elderly, he may have kidney or other problems that mean a non specific diet could make him really ill.

I think a note through the door is a good idea.

Passmethecrisps · 12/08/2012 10:04

Lolling at the cat vs human sprint.

The only thing that stops us having a house full of cats who have been put out with no cat flap is our own very stroppy kitty.

I might be inclined to give a tiny plate of biscuits - we have them in anyway though.

I am always amazed by people's oddness when it comes to animals. We have a pedigree cat spends most of its time trying to get into our house or sleeping at our neighbour's. He has spent many days (and overnight) sleeping in the porches of neighbouring houses because it was pouring with rain. The breed typically costs between £500 and £1000. He is also sticky to the touch and in bad condition. I think that's weird.

Go with the note (and give it lots of cuddles)

Kladdkaka · 12/08/2012 10:13

My elderly cat was on special diet because his liver was failing and he didn't eat much and was undernurished. It was concentrated food with the right nutrients in it. One of my neighbours took pity on this poor half starved looking always hungry elderly cat and kept feeding him normal food and milk. Then he would come home and refuse to eat his special food. She really wasn't helping him at all.

Don't feed the cat unless you are certain it's not being fed.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/08/2012 10:22

Second the note idea I'm sure the person feeding the cat wouldn't be offended at a neighbor looking out for the animal. I wouldn't feed the cat yet as it's possible that if he's old he could be ob a special diet as there are plenty fir cats with kidney or liver problems or weight control diets or fir cats prone to cystitis etc. Feeding the wrong food really could do more harm than good.

sashh · 12/08/2012 12:39

Another vote for the note - a big A $ piece of card with bright red "to the cat sitter" so that it isn't scooped up in the middle of some post.

lljkk · 12/08/2012 13:07

sorry, maybe daft question, but if cat is on a very special diet, how can you let them out at all? Don't they end up eating things outside (flies, frogs, voles, birds) that aren't on the diet as well?

GreatBallsofFluff · 12/08/2012 13:14

Another one here who has a master manipulator cat. if i let her biscuits run out for 10 mins she acts as though she hasn't been fed in a lifetime.

As sashh says make sure the note is massive and obvious so doesn't get caught up

Original poster
butisthismyname · 12/08/2012 13:44

Ah. They appear to be back! He disappeared off and has now returned just to have a sleep. I think I've been conned here :(

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 12/08/2012 14:38

lljkk cats have 2 diets. The wild one and the manmade one. We can't control the wild one so have to be extra careful with the manmade one. One reason my elderly cat got so thin was because he was no longer able to pig out on toads as he couldn't catch them anymore. :(

Kladdkaka · 12/08/2012 14:41

Forgot to say, if a cat has always been an outside cat, it would be a bit cruel to keep them inside unless absolutely necessary. When the neighbour kept feeding our cat we had to then keep him in. He was very sad for his last few weeks.