to wish the expression "I'm gonna batter ya" could be banned

[muttimalzwei]

was at the park today and heard three seperate incidences of children (who weren't being that bad at all) being told off and threatened "I'm gonna batter ya".
How can parents think this is an acceptable thing to say to your child? It sounds terrible. AIBU? or just incredibly naive?

Yanbu! Horrible.

Do you live in Glasgow per chance?

They could'be said "Away an' boil yer heid" or "Ah'll kick yer heid in"

Both choice phrases I've heard parents say to their weans offspring.

I loathe that phrase too!

i used to say this all the time. a colloquialism, somwhat like i'll kill ya - doesn't actually mean that you will or that indeed, the threat is literal.

DH worked for sure start many years ago, and my kids were with a child minder provided for a meeting that we were both attending ( i worked for a related organisation) anyway, they were painting and one twin split some paint and t'other one said atop her voice " awwwwwwwww dads gonna batter you" which went down well as he worked for sure start pmsl.

Never heard any of those phrases before >Clearly leads a sheltered life

My Nan always said "I'm going to shoot you and buy and dog!"

I have never emotionally or vervally abused my child. NDN is vile to her Daughter. Calls her an idiot. Makes my blood boil.

Definite JK behaviour. Yanbu!

"I'm gonna bray yer"
"Yer gonna get brayed"
"Me Dad'll bray me"

All still haunt me from my childhood. "Batter" was posh where we came from.

Oh.

My non threatening term of phrase is : I'll staple you by the ears to the wall.

Shit, I''m such a bad person and I'll be on Crimewatch soon

*disclaimer , I dont own a staple gun.

to wish the expression "I'm gonna batter ya" could be banned

If you're talking to a Marsbar - yes.

never heard of it before

lol worra

My staple phrase is "I'll beat you with a banana...". Which is suitably daft enough to raise a giggle and defuse the situation.

Defuse? Random Autocorrect. Diffuse.

Never heard it myself, but I do think it's an inappropriate thing to say to anybody, especially your own child.

A southerrner - never heard of it

Are you a brummie op?

I've only heard Scots say it

I am sure my mother used to say "I am going to kill you if you dont behave"... oddly enough, she never did.

I expect she told me she was going to batter me as well (northern family), and that didnt happen either..

It is just a turn of phrase which very rarely actually happens.

I guess you're in Glasgow then. I hear it all the time, YANBU.

up North. Hear it all the time, makes me sad.

I tried to make a joke once with a mum who kept saying it to her daughter. "are you going to serve her with chips and mushy peas?"
it wasn't really that funny, it didn't go down very well if I remember...

I often tell D's I'll string him up by his ears

Frequently heard in Liverpool. I hear it said with such aggression,

I used to be told "I'll have your guts for garters".

"I'm gonna batter ya" does sound awful though. Were they saying it in a particularly threatening way?