to be pissed off my OH has bought a £400 bicycle

[MyOtherNameIs]

Hi,

First post, but long time lurker.

I am fuming. My OH has just sprung it on me that he has taken it upon himself (while I am away for a few days nursing my sick mother who has had surgery on a broken leg) to buy a brand new, silly expensive bicycle.

Context
We live in Central London. The man who does no exercise at all, thinks he will cycle to work. I expressed a concern, as there are very many cyclists who get into serious accidents around our end due to the high volume of traffic and buses. I said I didn't want a phone call telling me he'd been scraped up off the tarmac, when really cycling would save no more time than taking the bus.

He says I'm paranoid. I accept I am, but as it isn't a need, I can't understand why he particularly wants to do it over getting the bus.

Anyway, while we are not completely strapped for cash, we haven't been on holiday this year, and if I had a spare £400 kicking about, it would be nice to put it towards a break for both of us or something.

It's not all about the bike (though I do wonder about the safety), but the fact that normally we consult eachother about big purchases and any concerns, and he seems to have waited for me to go away to do it. He has never done anything like this before.

I'm worried about it getting stolen, the insurance, him actually cycling, him eventually getting bored of it - if he had bought a cheapy second hand bike and was sticking to the commute, I would be ok with him getting the more expensive one.

AIBU to feel completely disrespected as I wasn't consulted about the purchase and/or about him cycling in central London?

Tricksy - if its out of 'his' money then I think its up to him.

And actually £400 is pretty restrained for a bike so he hasn't gone crazy.

But perhaps time to talk about future stuff regarding money.

"£400 is pennies tbh for a bike"

he is not doing the tour-de-france on it.. £400 IS a LOT of money to most people, and you can get a very reasonable bike for a lot less if it is just for travelling to work and back, or everyday riding.

Exactly, squeaky.

And the 400-quid-is-pennies thing ignores the fact that if you're a bit tight for cash, 400 quid for anything, all in one go, is a lot.

Yes, which is why I said that if you're tight for cash, 400 quid for anything is a lot in one go. Not 'in comparison to a car'.

Presumably he already has some way of getting to work, maybe public transport, and he's just spent 400 quid without discussion. It is a lot.

If I couldn't afford to spend 400 quid just like that, I would buy a decent, normal bike secondhand for 50 or so, or I'd go without - I wouldn't justify it by saying it's possible to spend more. I think that's normal?

he is an adult

as such surely he can decide for himself the risks of cycling to work.

I think op mentioned the bus, if he's taken it out of the joint account he should have discussed it with you

On average, cyclists live longer than non-cyclists, so unless he's planning on the north circular, yabu.

Also if he cancels his bus pass and works 5 days/week, he'll get his money back in a few months.

I think she's in central London, though, alt.

I wasn't knocking your personal choices, just saying that it's not so much relevant whether or not you can pay a bomb for a bike, more than the OP says they don't have a huge amount of money and she'd normally mention to him if she wanted to spend over 100, and here he's spent over 400.

Obviously if it saves money long term it's great, but I can see why she's fed up not to have had any discussion beforehand.

£400 might be cheap/reasonable for a bike for an experienced cyclist who knows they enjoy it and has particular wants/needs. It's a heck of a lot of money to spend for a random idea which he has not tried out.

Personally, when we tried cycling to work a few years back we both bought cheap second hand bikes - less than £100 for both and perfectly adequate. I'd be fuming if DH spent £400 on something without telling me.

You are right £400is a lot of money and everybody seems to be in agreement that there should have been a consultation. That does not negate the fact that £400 is not a lot for a bike. In most cases it will buy you a bike shaped object. That is not smugness just experience. I have come home to the £500 wheels attached to a carbon fiber frame for my 10 yo dd. Hopfully it will do for ds who is a little more fanatical about the cycling.

Where's he ordered it from :o

To be honest it's not expensive for a good bike. The Eddie's we sell are like 16k!

It's not like he's spent it all down then pisser.

It's during the Olympics, of course he's bought a bike and not consulted you like usual.

Dd has sought out judo classes, I've been for a run and dh bought sunglasses so he can play golf. These are all completely ludicrous and out of character for all of us.

Normal rules aren't applying right now

If he's using it for his commute, a zones 1-2 travel card is £112 a month - so by Christmas it's paid for itself. (If you are living further out, it'll have paid for itself a lot sooner.)

In comparision to that, it's not a 'big' purchase.

I would suggest you say, OK, keep it but unless there's snow on the ground, you have to ride to work between now and Christmas, after that, it's just pure 'profit' and it's down to him if he rides or takes the bus.

an, my local bike shop has 12 pages of 'cheap bikes' online, ranging from around 55 quid to around 125. Clearly, it is possible to buy a cheap bike for much less. I'm sure they're cheap for a reason (although most people I know bike around here and would be rather stunned at the idea of paying 400 for a bike). But it's simply not true to pretend 400 pounds is some kind of reasonable bottom limit for a bike. It may be reasonable for you; it may not for the OP.

Out of curiosity would you have said NO to him getting a bike.

£400 is alot as halfords have road bike for £220

YANBU. Would he complain if you just went out and spent £400 on a whim without consulting him?

I can feel your pain OP but wait till he comes home with a £3500 bike

I'm not still annoyed, honest!

Did he spend joint money or his own as if it's joint YANBU but if it's his own YABU

Its the olympics people are going silly. It will be on gumtree by xmas

Are you Bradley Wiggin's wife?

He's been unreasonable because such a chunk of money should be discussed in advance if that's the norm in your relationship. If he's the sensible type then cycling in London will be safe. Make sure he does it though, and poke him with the guilt stick on those drizzly days.

As a bit of background, I did something similar a decade ago. I've since spent a 5 figure sum on kit and trips away. It has been a rock in my life, a source of enourmous joy (and on a few occasions serious pain!) and is up there with my finest life decisions. Give your partner the rocket he deserves, then buy a bike and join him ;)

£400 - My DH could spend that on handlebars!

(And as well, if he has a yearly travel card, he can get a refund, no excuse there!)