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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Housework and 1 year old

91 replies

cheekypickle · 10/08/2012 12:25

Is it me or is it jut impossible unless their asleep? I know DH will come home today and ask what I have done and it won't be very much.

Took DD to a group for 45 mins this morning and a group this afternoon for an hour. Other than that been at home the whole time

OP posts:

DuelingFanjo · 10/08/2012 20:56

I am still reeling from discovering that there are men out there who complain because 'the house wasnt as tidy as he would like' and no one tells them to fuck the fuck off.

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 10/08/2012 20:59

I know! My dp would be dead fucking meat, i tell thee.

spiderlight · 10/08/2012 21:06

Mine loved it. He used to crawl round after the hoover laughing his head off at the breeze coming out of the back, and by the time he was cruising he was quite happy to flap a duster around to 'help'. Couple of pans and a wooden spoon and he was happy as larry while I had a quick whizz round the kitchen, and I had two washing baskets - one for the clothes and one for him to play trains in (he still does that and he's nearly 5 1/2).

surroundedbyblondes · 10/08/2012 21:16

Yes, it's different and requires planning. Getting rid of clutter helps. So does doing a little bit each day. I leave the ironing and the stuff that needs chemicals (loo/oven..) for evenings when both DDs are in bed, but otherwise I manage, mainly thanks to CBeebies and Peppa Pig

Kayano · 10/08/2012 21:28

DH and I have two date nights. One
Is a Tuesday when he cooks and does dishes and pops a wash on for me, and I iron as we watch a film.

Second is a Saturday and that's our day off where we just have a shag lol.

All rota'd and everything

MrMagnusDoodle · 10/08/2012 21:29

StickyJ "Playpen, who gives a F if they don't like it, honest to goodness. You have to balance your life, baby's life and reality"

Yes, thats what I think. I put mine in a travel cot once/twice a week so I could run around cleaning. They didn't like it, either of them, there was many a hissy fit thrown, but the house needed cleaning, we needed clean clothes to wear, sometimes a special family dinner needed cooking so they have to put up with it.

My first was a Velcro baby with a capital 'V' and she hated it, but she got used to it. Its not a crime to not put them first 100% of the time.

AllPastYears · 10/08/2012 21:30

I'm rather puzzled here actually.

On the one hand, men don't just notice mess - that's why they don't tidy and clean. You have to point it out for the useless idiots, then point out that someone needs to sort it, then that that someone could, just could, be them.

On the other hand, men do notice mess - and wonder why the little woman hasn't sorted it out, with a baby strapped to her back and a toddler clinging to her leg.

Which is it? And where is the option in which the men notice the mess and do something about it themselves.

DuelingFanjo · 10/08/2012 21:35

absofuckinglutely AllPastYears!

I think some men just feel resentful and think being at home with a baby/child is a piece of piss so they get all victorian husband on their wives. fuck that!

5madthings · 10/08/2012 21:38

I do it little and often as i go along tbh. Are there days when things go to pot and not much gets done, yes when one or more of the children are poorly but generally it is manageable. Sling for little baby or carry them in one are, on hip. Toddler potters round with me and i alsonlet them have free run of the house, tho not siblings bedrooms. If need be i shut gate to the kitchen. I can hear them, be with them in 20seconds and just keep.a general eye on them. Will do the washing up, clearing the table, sweeping the floor etc whilst dd is in her highchair finishing her food, again i can see her.

I also have the bonus of older children who can help.outnwith housework or will play with and entertain the littlest.

Have to say my dp.wouldnt comment on the state of the house and if stuff needs doing when he gets in he will just get on with doing stuff.

NevilleBarnes · 10/08/2012 21:45

But op you posted this week about your cleaner.
And I have seen several of your threads in which you say you are on summer hols so not working atm, and your dd goes to a childminder.

Why can't you do your housework then?

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 10/08/2012 21:47

I can do everything but iron, BY god I hate ironing, and this was pre baby too. Just more stuff to iron now.

waterwatereverywhere · 10/08/2012 21:53

I don't get it - I did it with 2 under 2's, worked a 4 day week and managed to clean. Like others say, little and often - usually in the evening when they were in bed. Playpen for the big hoover round or stuff involving bleach/chemicals. And I still found time for baby group, food shopping etc. And no dh at home to help.

I'm no superwoman, I just never let it get out of hand or overwhelming. Giant toyboxes were a great solution (the kids were taught to tidy everything away before tea everyday from a very early age) and now theyre older they have 'jobs' to do (baby wipe kitchen cupboard doors or whatever)

I think a lot of mums get het up on perfection when actually tidy and sanitary will do for me!!

Socknickingpixie · 10/08/2012 21:57

incidently whilst most of my kids were little my house was pretty much always clean but if it hadnt been should my kids dad have even uttered a word he would have had a bikkipeg shoved up his nose but he never ever would have done i think he was just very gratefull that he got to run away and go to work

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 10/08/2012 21:57

Goodness my DS would be like a caged Tasmanian devil in a playpen, i let him pootle around with me, however this is very counter productive.

He likes to pretend to clean with a wipe, this is a skill I shall be encouraging!

WaftyCrank · 10/08/2012 22:01

I would've disagreed with you until I gave birth to the little whirlwind that is DS2. He's 16 months and can get out of his playpen, highchair etc. 30 seconds alone and he's on the windowsills (windows are locked!) and the playpen is actually now a guard for the tv after we found him swinging off it.

I do manage to get some things done though, I can tidy/hoover/polish the living room whilst he mooches about and if I give him a wipe he'll 'help'. He likes to empty the washing machine and wooden spoons whilst he's in his highchair gives me enough time to wash up or wipe the sides down.

I tend to do upstairs when DP is home to keep an eye on him but even if nothing gets done it's not the end of the world. He's only going to be this big for so long, I'd rather spend time with him (and DS1, DD and DC4 when they arrive :))

rollmeover · 11/08/2012 02:56

Thats a good point Wafty.

Id rather spend time with my kids than have a spotless home. Id rather than my family ate home cooked meals than had the sheets changed every week. Id rther have some quality time with my oh than clean after 8pm.

So, im going to do the best I can during nap times to keep on top of it, get help from dh before we have visitors, and wait till dd is old enough to get stuck in herself.
Im not going to judge anyone else for having a clean or unclean house, as I know they are probably doing the best they can in the situation theyo are in.
And I dont think nyone should be made to feel bad about not living in a show home.

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