A barrel of human poo in the back garden of sister's rented house.

[AvengingAngel]

My sister has been in a rented house for nearly two years and the last tenants left a barrel of human poo in the back garden. This is not a joke. Despite numerous attempts to get the Estate Agents to move it, it has not happened, even though promises have been made. I know she dearly wants to stay in the house, but come on! Any advice? Please??

My eyes have been opened to the madness of humanity.
Bet it's not poo though, the poominator won't touch it then!
Tell your sister to get things sorted asap, we can't wait 2yrs for an update!

There are definitely poo specialists.
Probably TMI but when the HA left us with no running water for nearly three days DS2 couldn't cope with the lack of toilet so therefore just 'went' in a corner of his bedroom. Then smeared.

The HA had to get a specialist to come and deal with it - Environmental Health had to begin proceedings to prosecute for them leaving us without running water as it was. EH made the HA clear it up by the way, not me being precious.

The bloke said it was a walk in the park for him - he normally deals with prison dirty protests.

Ring DynoRod and ask for advice.

Did the environmental health department suggest how she could get rid of it?
How are cesspits emptied, who does it and how much does it cost? That may be the way to go.

Surely neighbours will have complained about the smell? That would speed the landlord up to deal with it.

Just out of interest, how do you know how thick the crust is?

Yes, go on we need to know how thick the crust is - just - you know- stick a ruler in or something...

Doesn't this come under the Landlords 'duty of care' re health and safety regs in rented property ? He hasn't fufilled that contractual obligation so is in breach of contract ... I would point this out and withold rent until its sorted, yes she will be in breach but so is the landlord ..Threat to go to Small Claims Court usually works wonders with dodgy Letting Agents i find. Never had to actually do it yet but did resort to drafting the forms & putting thru door with 'a week to get it sorted, or i file this': which got a result.

I'm very excited that we have a resident poo specialist in the form of autummum!!

glad to oblige salmo - it's a dirty job, but someones got to do it . Just as an aside your name always makes me smile because I one did a 3 hour exam all about the biology of migrating salmo trutta.

Clever little things those brown trout!

Cannot believe anyone would tolerate this for 2 years! o.k so your dsis isn't confident enough to get this sorted but what about the other 2 adults that live there? They are all paying (presumably) to inhale shit fumes!

Surely the house and garden were checked and cleaned/cleared between tenants?

Also, how can you see the top few inches of crust? It has a sealed lid surely?

It easily removed. Call a septic tank company and they come along with their special poo van and a long hose, they suck it up and off they trundle. Can't see why they can't stick their hose in a barrel rather than a tank. Ours costs about fifty quid.

So I was thinking about this and wondering why someone would put a barrel of poo in their garden in the first place. I figure they either had unusual toilet habits, or for some reason couldn't bear the thought of poo in the house, even in a toilet.

Or they had something they wanted to hide. How sure are you that it's poo all the way to the bottom of the barrel? (FGS don't dig though!). But really, it's an inspired place to hide something you didn't want anyone finding.

Sorry I have nothing helpful to add, it's such a bizarre situation my mind ran away with it. Hope your sis gets it sorted soon!

Not being funny but HOW could she leave it there for 2 days; let alone 2 YEARS!! OMFG!!

DO THIS TOMORROW!!!:

You, your sister & 2 other friends / relatives / neighbours should wear old clothes; wellies; & rubber gloves...

Put a big heavy duty sack over the barrel & fix the sack with duct tape.

Then put the barrel on its side & cover it from the other end with a 2nd heavy duty sack; also taped.
Continue until there are enough sacks for you to not feel totally grossed out by the barrel eg. 6 sacks taped to the barrel (3 covering each end).

Use her or your car / or borrow another person & their car; put the back seats down; cover the boot & flat seats in old sheets or plastic.

Get a strong & shallow wood or plastic crate / box with very low sides, no lid & handles.

Make sure it is big enough to hold the barrel (once the barrel is lying on its side). (Basically check by using A Tape Measure to measure the height & width of the barrel...)

Roll the barrel to the edge of a kerb (eg) & bump it into the box.

Get an extra couple of people also with gloves; lift the crate containing the barrel into back of the car - secure it with rope.
(First measure the barrel-on-its-side-in-the-low-sided-crate to check it will fit into the car!)

2 of you get into the car with an Odour Neutralising Air Freshener for those stinky moments; the other 2 people follow in another car / taxi.
Drive to the local dump; produce a utility bill with sister's address; then lift the crate into the dump.

Drive home; clean out the car with diluted bleach (even though no poo will have touched the car - it will still make the car owner feel happier).
Bleach the area where the barrel lived.
Throw away gloves; wipe wellies & chuck old clothes in the wash.

Relax. No more poo barrel.

Make everyone some tea / pour out wine or whatever & wonder why the hell it took 2 years to do that.

As for toilets not working - use a bucket NOT the corner of the bedroom Glitter!

That's what i did when my toilet had to be replaced.
Cover the bucket & empty into a neighbour's toilet.

FFS.

(Sorry but really it's not hard to do things like that!!)

Would the tip even accept it though? Surely it's classed as hazardous waste? And I don't think you could disguise what it is if it stinks so much.

i like virgil's idea.

phone a septic tank company if eh don't help.

I second asking a septic tank company to dispose of the waste.

It's got to be worth, what £60, to get the job done.

Listen to autumn
It's not likely to be poo

Nettles in water reek but people do it because they use it On the garden. Could it be that

Update.
Right the man from the council phoned back (not the poo specialist - the messenger for the poo specialist) and said the council have absolutely no services or responcibility to do anything. The onus is on the owner of the property (i.e the Landlord). Arrrgh!

Yes, yes, I know, two years. She has tried. The others in the house have tried. She's young and frightened of being evicted.

I'm at a loss. The only way to get hold of the landlord ( i think he's abroad) is through the agent, who won't pass on his contact details.

God renting is shit (no pun intended).

The crust is about 5 inches deep, for whoever asked that question. It's very very likely to be human poo. But whatever it is, the toxic smell would indicate it COULD be a very serious hazard.

Have you been poking around in the barrel of human poo to find out how deep the crust is? That sounds very unsanitory.

Call some company who specialise in emptying septic tanks. They come with a lorry and suck the waste with a huge long hose. Send the bill to the agents.

I read of a story where the council refused an elderly man access to a septic tank or something so he shat in buckets for seven years and left it in barrels at the roadside for collection.

I think, if my sister lets me, I'm going to talk to the EA on Monday morning. Hopefully a polite conversation, won't put her tenancy agreement in jeopardy.

FGS, after Two Years (!) it is time to admit defeat with the landlord and council and every other useless "service".

It is time to throw some money at the problem and Get In A Septic Tank Disposal Company. HTH