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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or would you understand if I postponed plans for following reason...

20 replies

GimmieChocolate · 10/08/2012 10:50

I made plans to meet with SIL at her house next Friday. My mum phoned me last night to say that her best friend that's I've known my whole life is coming to visit next week and could they come up next Friday so she can meet my DD.

Background info to avoid drip feeding:
I've known this woman my whole life and growing up she was Aunty X
I've not seen her in years
She has saved very hard to afford the train ticket down and I know she won't be able to afford to do it again for a long time
My mum has told me that she's said she has made a lovely cross stitch sampler for my DD that she would love to give me in person. She's not well off at all and I am very touched that she has gone out to buy the things and put the time and effort into making such a thoughtful gift. I would love to be able to thank her in person.
Not trying to run tallys but my SIL has and will see my DD reasonably frequently whereas this will be the only time for probably a number of years that "Aunty" will.

Seeing both in one day isn't really an option as mum and "Aunty" will probably send most of the day with me, and my DS is quite a sensitive little thing and whist she's happy having cuddles, being passed around lots of different people at the time, usually the evening or following day she is very clingy and unsettled so want to avoid a bad day the next day IYSWIM!

If it was you would you understand? And for those that read my previous thread about SIL and nephew it's nothing to do with that! We would of been in their house so plenty to distract him/keep him interested!

I don't think I'm being U but would like to see what everyone else would think?

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 10/08/2012 10:51

Yes I would understand.

GimmieChocolate · 10/08/2012 10:51

Must spell check etc, as I have called my DD a DS at one point!!

OP posts:
TrudiRed · 10/08/2012 10:51

Well I would be ok with it. A bit disappointed maybe but not the end of the world.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2012 10:52

Depends on your relationship with your SIL, really. Does your brother/husband (whoever is her brother) not have a better chance of persuading her?

If she and you get on well she might be fine with it, but if not, I think you should go with the original plan. You are being unreasonable to assume it would be fine to mess someone around.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 10/08/2012 10:52

I would be OK with it too. It is plenty of notice and you have a very valid reason.

ajandjjmum · 10/08/2012 10:53

Why don't you suggest you meet SIL the previous day, or the following week? Apologise and explain why, and unless there's any hidden problem, I would have thought she'd understand.

fruitysummer · 10/08/2012 10:53

YANBU

You're about to give her a weeks notice for plans that can be easily cancelled anyway.

It's not an outing where money has been paid and even if she was giving you lunch she won't have bought anything.

I have no idea about your relationship with SIL but guessing it's strained if you've posted before? Even so, you are still not BU

MrGeresHamster · 10/08/2012 10:54

Sounds very reasonable but you haven't mentioned the context of your SIL. Is it a case of she lives round the corner and would be able to change to the next week, or has she made plans with travel/accommodation that are harder to change?

GimmieChocolate · 10/08/2012 10:54

Will definitely meet with her another time not long after. She works part time so are limited to days however. Sorry should of mentioned that and I would say to her is there another day that will work for you, or something similar.

OP posts:
PhoneyMEDALWINNER · 10/08/2012 10:54

I'd understand - just make new plans with her for another date.

FelicitywasSarca · 10/08/2012 10:55

Yes I would come up with a few alternative day options for SIL before politely cancelling the visit.

FelicitywasSarca · 10/08/2012 10:56

X post, sounds fine then.

MrGeresHamster · 10/08/2012 10:56

Definately not BU then.

GimmieChocolate · 10/08/2012 10:58

MRGERES:She lives about a 30 minute drive away from me and I was going to be driving to her house. It was going to be a sit and have a cuppa, catch up and maybe a walk to park kind of visit.
FRUITY:My relationship with her isn't strained however i feel slightly uncomfortable with my nephews behaviour but have learnt to keep my nose out and try to ignore it as none of my business!!

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 10/08/2012 10:58

Sounds fine but why don't you and your mum visit this aunty?

MrMiyagi · 10/08/2012 13:24

Unless there's something big we don't know (which I doubt there is to be fair) then its completely reasonable. It's not a big event that can't be moved, and you're giving her plenty of notice.

HappyAsChips · 10/08/2012 14:36

I would totally understand.

GimmieChocolate · 10/08/2012 16:11

Thanks all. I thought it was reasonable but just wanted to make sure! Gave her a call and explained and she was absolutely fine about it

OP posts:
DameEnidSpink · 10/08/2012 16:44

Glad she was ok and you can visit your Mum and her friend

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 10/08/2012 16:52

Good! I thought you WNBU at all.

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