To give this wedding a miss despite having accepted the invitation?

[Arachnophobic]

Have known the bride for about 4 years. Got relatively close I guess through the kids but never best of friends. I offered to organise her hen do and she later asked me to do it, fine.

At the hen do she turned into someone our mutual friends didn't recognise. She got extremely drunk and abusive to several people in our group, our taxi driver got called a c@nt, and when we were separated at the end of the night she sent me a rude text.

No apology the next day, nothing. I was off with her and went home. We were due to leave that day anyhow. I have distanced myself since then. Seen her briefly out and about but haven't socialised.

We all have too much to drink sometimes it was the lack of apology/acknowledgement of her behaviour that it got my goat.

Also the wedding list annoys me - I personally have no problem with a wedding list but gift examples are an upgrade to her and the groom's transatlantic flights for the honeymoon.

So, AIBU to develop a mystery illness and not attend? My Grandma thinks that would be wrong, but I welcome the MN jury views.

I love MN, it provides the best insults.

It certainly does, I've learned many brilliant insults since being on here

Oh, and for pag, cunt, cunt, cunt...

It was out or order her calling the taxi driver one though.

From what you've said, OP, it does seem out of character though so attend the wedding and give her a second chance. If she behaves the same way again then quietly drop her.

if all my friends ditched me because I had been a horrible drunk I would not have many friends

oh hang on

Her behaviour was bad but it sounds as though this one night was totally out of character if none of you attending had ever seen her in such a state before. Did any of you (her friends) try to find out if something else was going on? If one of my friends behaved in a way that was so completely different from their normal behaviour I would talk to them about it.

^This.

cunt

^And this, just cause.

If you don't want to go, fine, but at least have the decency to let her know so she can save costs or invite someone in your place. It would be extremely rude not to turn up having accepted an invitation. Her behaviour may have been awful (why haven't you spoken to her about it???), but imo it isn't an excuse for simply not turning up to the wedding having accepted an invitation. You should be prepared for your friendship to end either way, but definitely if you just fail to turn up.

If you get so drunk you get amnesia you generally say next day 'Oh my God - was I terrible? Pleeease tell me what I did!!!'

Or it drip feeds back into your consciousness and you apologise in waves throughout the following day. Plus the text will be a permanent reminder.

So I do think she knows what she did and is being an arse. I don't think you'd be out of order to drop her and her offensive gift requests.