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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD and finger food

95 replies

cheekypickle · 09/08/2012 21:11

DD who is nearly 1 year has totally gone off jars/pouches/homecooked meals. She doesn't want to be spoon fed. She wants to be independent and feed herself with finger foods.

I'm really pleased that she's being independent but I'm nervous that shes not eating as much. Not that much seems to go in when she eats finger foods independently. Shes by no means underweight so there's no worries there

DH said I should stop making an 'issue' about it.

WWYD??

OP posts:

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 09/08/2012 21:57

if you fear choking (quite rightly imo), ask at your local maternity hospital if they do an infant resus course. most do. it's a useful skill to have, although it wasn't my two blw'd kids i needed it for, just a toddler in the park who had picked something up off the ground when his mum wasn't looking.

@squeakytoy i love the idea that your parents gave you what they were having, minus salt... that's pretty much the distillation of BLW. i wouldn't go blaming all fussy eaters on BLW, though, it's not really been around that long to test. currently, yer general fussy eating brigade, the one the Annabel Karmel mines so lucratively, is firmly the responsibility of the more trad weaning techniques. not to say that a child who has been BLW'd won't be fussy, of course... that would be nuts. they're still kids.

regarding cutlery, i've never understand why a child being fed is learning how to use cutlery simply by it being utilised in his presence. any more than a child in a car is learning how to drive. not that i'm advocating putting a baby in front of the steering wheel, of course...

SchrodingersMew · 09/08/2012 22:00

Surely if you sit with baby at the table, they have their plate and can eat and watch you at the same time they are more likely to want to use cutlery than if you were feeding them?

ThePieSmuggler · 09/08/2012 22:01

I'm somewhat surprised that the sight of children enjoying food (albeit messily) can annoy people so much. Seems a shame that parents choosing to blw (and yes I'm one of them) are judged so harshly by other parents, I'm very much of the opinion each to their own!

PenisVanLesbian · 09/08/2012 22:03

Cause of the country going to hell in a handbasket, isn't it...babies eating with their hands and (shock) enjoying food!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 09/08/2012 22:04

i would have thought so, schrodinger. mind you, this cutlery thing is wildly over-stated, imo. not only to vast swathes of the global population use their hands to eat all the time, but visit any primary school at lunchtime and the children are like little animals anyway. whatever they are doing at home is not replicated in the dining hall...

FirstVix · 09/08/2012 22:06

And the thing about letting them play and get messy and help themselves to what they want is that they (hopefully) won't fear food too. For me I mean.
DD certainly tries to copy us when we use cutlery and has done for a long time (15mo now) and if she's finding it hard and wants to eat will say 'tank oo' while holding out her spoon/fork to be filled.
She eats MUCH more, independently, than when we try to spoon feed a whole meal. She loves the sense of achievement.
And so what if she doesn't eat as much - she'll just up her milk requests.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 09/08/2012 22:11

BLW is really not for everyone, though, if you get tense at mess it's not going to go well, because where the parental head is at is very important, iykwim? being a relaxed, amenable spoon-feeder is going to be 100x better for a child's ongoing relationship with food than being an anxious-about-the-mess blwer, i think.

GingerWrath · 09/08/2012 22:12

Strips of omelette? Corn on the cob? (my DD loved this), flaked tuna/salmon. I presume your child has teeth? Mine didn't til she was a year but she would quite happily gum foodstuffs!

JollyHockeyStick · 09/08/2012 22:14

DS is 15 months, BLW.

Now he can eat without a bib, as there's just no mess. Unless he's having yoghurt. He can use a spoon and fork too.

I eat with my fingers sometimes though, so I'm guessing we're not the kind of company some of you would invite round.

OP, just feed her anything you're having, but without salt.

FirstVix · 09/08/2012 22:19

DD didn't have teeth until 10mo - there are still loads of things they can ingest and eat.
Some things still seem to be beyond her stomach's ability to process though !
jolly even rice and peas type things?

SchrodingersMew · 09/08/2012 22:21

And I love watching DS have fun with his food even if it gets a bit messy at times. :)

I don't really have any choice as if you try and spoon feed him anything he will actually fish it back out and then put it back in and it ends up messier!

Aitch Good point, we're actually far too up tight here. Soup in many other places is okay to drink from your bowl, yet here we arse about with a spoon.

JollyHockeyStick · 09/08/2012 22:22

You mean the mess or the self feeding?

DS eats both rice and peas either with his fingers or a spoon. He doesn't make mess with them. Cous cous is messy though, had forgotten about it.

everlast · 09/08/2012 22:24

Ds is 10 months and has whatever we are having, his first ever food was toast at 6 months, we are not doing BLW though as if its something like cereal, yougurt, pasta etc i feed him it from spoon/fork, in the same way we would eat it. Finger foods we give are, toast, little squared sandwiches, cubes of cheese, omelette, homemade chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc, potato wedges/roasties/big chips, lots of fruits and different veg, really anthing you would have yourself offer they will suprise you

ds only has 2 teeth and has never choked only gagging now and again

foreverondiet · 09/08/2012 22:26

Stop making a big deal of it. Babies eat less in their second year as can't maintain the same rate of growth.

My DS2 is 2 and is a terribly fussy eater and has never agreed to be spoon fed. He hasn't starved yet.

FirstVix · 09/08/2012 22:28

I meant the mess. DD will eat both quite tidily with her fingers, but rice/peas on a spoon seems to = rice EVERYWHERE. I'm impressed!
DD also choked a bit but never gagged either and was eating for 4 months or so before teeth came through. Just be careful what's offered I guess.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 09/08/2012 22:40

ironically, given my feelings on yoghurt , i often used greek yog to 'bind' rice/couscous etc together so that they could dive in with their spoon/paws a bit easier.

JollyHockeyStick · 09/08/2012 22:45

We use sour cream sometimes to make it easier, but the risk with that is that DS won't eat anything else on the plate. He loves sour cream soooo much.

Cous cous is only allowed in our house on nights when DH is cleaning up!

FirstVix · 09/08/2012 22:45

Oh, good idea!

Actually, she'd probably like it...

LadyWidmerpool · 09/08/2012 22:51

Many babies are perfectly capable of feeding themselves with a spoon if it's preloaded.

Some posters find babies feeding themselves off putting. I find it off putting to see them fighting off a spoonful of food they clearly don't want.

RagamuffinAndFidget · 09/08/2012 22:58

Both my DSes had 'family food' (not just sticks of stuff that could be seen as 'finger food' but whatever we were having at mealtimes) from just before they were six months old. DS1 was using a spoon and fork by thirteen months and DS2 has been using a spoon and fork since ten and a half months. It's not amazingly neat and tidy but that's what wipe-clean highchairs and bibs are for.

All those posters saying that it's ridiculous to want children to be allowed to enjoy food, etc. - do you not like to sit down and enjoy your meal? Do you think you would enjoy it as much if someone mashed it into oblivion and spooned it into your mouth??

ComeonComeon · 09/08/2012 23:00

Just getting myself on thread. Am an avid BLWer and alone in my mummy society so enjoying the debate

It's messy yes but the mess is containable. It's like most baby things ime, once you get used to it and get a system going, it's fine. I am a zen-like angel of calm when DS is destroying meatballs with pasta and tomatoes as per this evening, then lovingly wipe him down, install him with some toys and switch into cleanup mode!

RagamuffinAndFidget · 09/08/2012 23:00

Oh (duhh) to respond properly to the OP - just go with what your baby 'tells' you. She won't starve herself and it's good that she wants to move on from being spoonfed. Offer plenty of things she can grasp and eat herself, and let her play around with cutlery so she can get the hang of it. Let her see you and your DP eating so she can copy what you do.. she'll be chomping like a pro before you know it!

fishcalledwonder · 09/08/2012 23:26

In my (limited) experience, all that matters is actually being led by your baby. I had planned to go the BLW route and my 9mo does love feeding herself many of the foods already mentioned by others. However, being a greedy little madam, she hated being left to try to feed herself yoghurt or other soft foods. I helped her out with a spoon and she was much happier. She self feeds about 75% of her meals, and i feed her the rest. She taps impatiently on the spoon if I take too long and makes it very clear when she has had enough. There is no mush-shovelling involved!

As soon as she doesn't want to be spoon fed at all, I will stop. She probably won't eat quite as much, but I know she will let me know if she's hungry.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 09/08/2012 23:34

i agree with you, fish.

lovebunny · 10/08/2012 00:58

let her help herself. why not? she enjoys it, feels independent. if she's hungry, she'll eat more, surely?

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