In thinking this was a sarky comment.

[Jules666]

OK I know this is trivial but it's been bugging me (for quite a while) so thought I'd put it to you lot.

DS (10) started having abdominal pain when walking. Had lots of test etc and was off school for a few days. I was worried about him missing school so saw Headteacher and explained that walking and bending was painful for him. She said if he came in they would look after him. Took him into school but half way through the day he was in tears as they'd made him walk downstairs to the dining room (even though other children had been allowed to have their food upstairs if they'd had mobility problems, ie sprained ankle). He came to me as I was finishing work (I work at the school until 1pm) so I decided to take him home as was pissed off with them as it was obvious walking was hurting him.

When I walked out with him (after telling the office staff that I was taking him home) one of them said to him while he was walking past them slowly in pain. 'Take your time DSname, you've got all the time in the world'.

Now I know this is trivial and it was a while ago but I can't for the life of me see how this was an innocent remark so as I'll be back working their next month need to see if I'm over-reacting.

Sounds rude to me

Sounds like she was being sympathetic.

I can't imagine an adult being sarky to a 10 year old who is clearly in pain.

i think that the only way that comment made sense was if they thought he was faking it.

Maybe it was his attitude, maybe it was thiers! you'll never know because you were not there

imsotired I was there. I was walking with him through the office to the door. If he was faking it then he deserves and Oscar!!

It might have been sarky. Does it really matter?

I hope your sons ok - the pain sounds very severe. Is he on any treatment or anything?

SmellLikeWhiteSpirit - yes he is thank heavens. He's had an overnight stay in hosp when they thought it was his appendix, 3 gp visits, a scan at the hosp, various bloodtests and a referral to the paediatric clinic. They couldn't pin it down to anything but it's eased off now.

BeaWheesht - I suppose it doesn't matter in that it not life or death but this was a person working in a school who you'd hope would be caring.

I don't know what the tone was in which this was said, but from this alone I wouldn't say it was sarky. If it was, 'take your time, the world stops for you', well, that is sarky. I don't know, really.

Why do you think it could have been sarcastic? Is there some kind of prehistory commenting about him that has added to how you feel? Does he take his time generally, I mean when he's not ill? I know mine does, always at the back of the queue he is. I can't quite tell what is bothering you about it, is all.

I will say, if it was meant to be sarcasm, it was a piss poor attempt!

Sounds like sympathy ie don't rush it will hurt imo

Kleptronic - I don't know really why I think it could be sarcastic. I wouldn't say he takes his time but he is sensitive and very easily upset/tearful.

I was ultra sensitive that day as I'd been really worried about him and his dad (my ex) had been his usual useless self and had it all on my shoulders worrying about what to do to sort it out, and of course worried about it being serious.

I do over think things all the time which doesn't help. And not good at handling stress so go over things a lot.

I think as people haven't all agreed that it was sarcastic then I need to forget about it and just assume it wasn't.

It does sound sarcastic to me. I would be concerned that if they can be sarcastic when you are there, they can be even worse when you are not.

Hmm, Jules, I think you've hit the nail on the head there. It must have been incredibly worrying and stressful for you, not knowing what was wrong or how he'd be, and not having any support in trying to make him better; to make it all right for him, and get him out of pain, as we all do with our DCs. It's a bloody nightmare.

You did handle the stress though. You did the best thing by him and took him out of school, you have seen to it that he got appropriate, and manifold, medical attention, and you did this in the position of being a parent and an employee of the school, never an easy place to be at the best of times.

With all that was going on for you (and I know this is all amateur head doctor stuff) maybe this comment has in some way become connected with the massive amounts of stress and uncertainty you were dealing with at the time?

Maybe that comment was innocuous. Maybe it wasn't. Either way, you did your best by him, and he's on the mend, so job's a good 'un. You did all you could to make it so and that's the most important thing. No other bugger matters.

Hmm, difficult to tell seeing it in type. Very much a tone of voice situation, could easily go either way.

Have the office staff/school given you any other reason to think they might be snarky/disbelieving about it?

It's impossible to say, with just the words on a screen. It needs tone of voice and facial expression. it could equally be either. Nasty dig or supportive 'don't rush, take your time, it's ok'

If you picked up sarcasm rather than sympathy, then you're probably right

(unless you are a generally paranoid person who always assumes the worst motive in people, in which case probably not )

It sounds sympathetic to me. Maybe you could have been being oversensitive on ds' behalf at that point because the school had been bastards to him earlier in the day. But that's not the concerned receptionist's fault, so I'd give her the benefit of the doubt here I think. Hope he feels better soon.

It sounds sympathetic and soothing to me. Is it possible that the person who said it has experienced pain in the past that was made worse by moving quickly?

Unfortunately if you ask them if they were being sarcastic they're obviously going to say no. So I don't think there's much you can do.