to think my ocd cannot be cured - just "managed"?

[Wigglewoo]

I have quite bad housework related ocd and I am struggling more with it at the moment because dd is obviously at home with the summer holidays and I'm very concious of her not picking up my habits so I deliberately try not to be as ridiculous when she's here...

Its nothing new, I've always been like this and most of the time I can just do what I need to do and everything is fine but I've now had ds aged 8 weeks and obviously I can't be like this as much - things have to slip. I'm finding it really difficult. I didn't realise how bad I was until my dh said to me that I'd rather hoover the floor than put effort into our relationship ... Oops :(

So I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has successfully "got rid" of the ocd or is it something you always live with? I don't know how to let go... Dh offers to do things for example and I'll always do them again as I don't feel he's done them properly..

Little things drive me insane like on the mantlepiece I try and keep it just one large candle in the middle and dh keeps leaving bits on there (wallet etc) or moving the candle out of the middle and I can't bear it.

I can't leave the draining board next to the sink with water on it, I get through 4 teatowels a day wiping it and then polishing it shiny.

I had a row with dh the other day about it all. He said the world won't end if I don't wipe the side down every time but I said if I don't keep things clean then I will have even more to do later on.

I also do a lot of washing - 3 / loads a day, even though I could leave it for a day or so I can't have it in the wash bin.

Ok so I know this sounds bonkers and I'm fed up with it and maybe I should post in mental health but I'm genuinely curious as to whether I can solve this somehow with help maybe or if I have to just resist behaving like this....

Hi Not been able to read the whole thread will try to later, but just wanted to share with you my experience of OCD. It's pretty good at the moment ( tfft)

I've had OCD diagnosed for 13 years but can remember my rituals from whn I was around six. My OCD consists of counting, checking, and touching things, at times it's got to the point where it became really hard to leave the house. I used to lay under the fire alarm for hours watching the flashing light counting. ( sounds mad, I suppose it is a bit) not walking on cracks in the road, I used to walk back to school so I could walk back making sure I didn't step on cracks.

I feel better now, sometimes when I feel anxious it's likes to stick its head round the corner, and it will always be a part of me but I'm in more control.

You need to try to understand what OCD is and more so what it means to you, often if you stop one set of rituals it will manifest itself as in another area or another ritual. For me not doing OCD rituals meant death and completing them kept death away. Obviously this was depressing and caused aniexty with made OCD stronger.

I went on anti depressants for a year or so and it really helped. I don't believe you can cure it but I think you can be stronger than it and it takes up less of your life.

California. You helping him check I'd ultimately going to make it worse. It's giving in to his anxiety and proving it to be correct. The only way of dealing with it is to slowly but surely deal with anxiety for short periods if time by not performing the ritual.

You are right but sometimes you need a break and someone else to say. I've checked it's fine

Katisha, it turns out he's been counting things, steps, everything since he was a little child too, but he does it in his head. He only told me about it when our oldest started hand washing.
He parks in the same spot (or within a few spots) at work, knows how many steps to the gate, how many stairs to the changing rooms, etc. Will actively try to avoid stepping on cracks in the pavements. He has a sense of humor over it all and I'll give him a quick shove and he steps on a crack, it isn't a big deal for him, it will make him chuckle, then he goes back to avoiding. He knows nothing bad will happen. he doesn't get over anxious if he can't count, or check, door, he can let it go, he does all the rituals out of habit and I think it seems to sooth him if that makes sense. Sort of like my youngest is a thumb sucker she just can't help it, it calms and relaxes her.
I have to say Dh was 50 this year and I have known him my whole life. He kept his OCD well hidden, mainly due to criticism and what I see as bullying from his own mother.

Hi

OCD is about you being able to control your enviroment exactly how you want, CBT will give you some tools to manage it. If you want to try and understand where it comes from, understand and maybe stop it, then you might have to look in to when and why it started in your life timeline, childhood etc.

CBT is a short term sticking plaster it is effective, but for long term you might want to look in some Psychodynamic counselling, any intergrative counsellor can combine both cbt and look back through your history, to see if there is anything locked away or otherwise that started it. This will take longer than the 6 standard sessions you might get at the docs, but is is telling that dp says you would rather do housework than look at issues in the marriage. OCD is a symptom not the cause, finding what causes it might give you the realisation you need to deal with it effectively.

I think the thing with OCD is there is a point when it starts to take over and that is when you need help and you seem to have reached that point.

I think GPs are very good with this sort of thing and much more tuned into mental health issues than they used to be. CBT and anti-depressants are the first line treatment in the NHS.

Lots of luck. OCD stuff has taken over my life recently and I know how frustrating and difficult it can be. You want to be able to relax and not be stressed out by not doing the ritual/facing the things you dislike but you just can't do it.

Thanks California. Good to hear he has a sense of humour about it. I don't think ds is particularly anxious about life but the syllable counting has got a bit more intrusive for him lately and I don't know at what point I should try to do anything. At the moment I am telling him not to worry, that lots of people do it or something similar, and generally trying to to make any kind of big deal of it.

Hi,

I have suffered with OCD for over 20 years now, and I know it's never going away, and I just find ways of making things easier for myself.

I had cbt for my anxiety, as I find I am a very anxious person, and when I'm anxious my OCD gets worse. It didn't get rid of my anxiety but it did help me to understand it, which helped as I could recognize when it starts, and while I still get very anxious I feel I can recognise it more, and feel cbt was beneficial.

It's worth going to your gp and asking about it, what have you got to lose?

I find the anxiety side of things more stressful than the OCD, and know how hard it is to deal with everyday. I think it's nice to chat to others who suffer, as they can truly understand as its so hard to describe it to someone.

Good luck x

It won't go away , ever .

You can learn to cope with it , cbt is good , have had drugs for it too .

I've got a funny sort . It's linked to anxiety , and depression . I had the contamination type , but when I got help for that it switched to hoarding .

I struggle more with the thoughts tbh . Dh is a chucker , he trows away stuff . I had a blazing row with him once because he threw out a tin full of old screws, nails and odd buttons .