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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel really sad that an athlete's moment should be soured by criticism of their looks

60 replies

WhyTheBigPaws · 09/08/2012 13:47

I know ours is a very image-obsessed society but I almost wanted to cry when I saw how unkind some online wankers posters had been about gymnast Beth Tweddle. I'm not going to repeat what was said but it's easily Google-able. It's really sickening that after all she's achieved she is still judged by how she looks rather than the fact she's just won an Olympic medal.

Sure there are many other examples but this really wound me up, she seems such a sweet girl and I just think how it must have made her feel to read those sort of comments. My DD is a gymnast and looks up to her so much, I would be devastated if she was ever judged in such a horrible way but I expect it's not that unusual :(

OP posts:

Original poster

WhyTheBigPaws · 09/08/2012 16:19

I completely agree viola, I was delighted when my DD had to write about her hero/heroine at school and chose Beth, people like her are fantastic role models for young kids, girls especially. At 10 DD just admires her amazing talent and wants to be like her without any giving thought to how she looks.

Also agree with hidden, I struggle to tell many women in the public eye apart these days - they seem to be all identikit hair extensions/spray tan/Hollywood teeth, what happened to being individual?! We don't seem to celebrate that any more or recognise that everyone has something beautiful about them - in that picture you posted Beth's colouring is really lovely and I'd kill for her figure but just because she doesn't fit the stereotype she is criticised.

What annoyed me most about the comments I read was that they were comparing her to her team-mates so not content with slagging her off they had to put her up against other women as well. We don't stand a bloody chance do we?!

OP posts:

headfairy · 09/08/2012 16:23

I love that reply from Zoe Smith :o Brilliant and very beautiful woman (not that it matters one jot what she looks like :o)

carernotasaint · 09/08/2012 16:24

A lot of people, sadly many women I know, joined in the criticism.

Probably the sort of women who read mags like Closer.

carernotasaint · 09/08/2012 16:31

But no, we'll slag her off for being a normal looking woman
I think the female athletes look AMAZING.
As for women in the public eye i like women like Keeley Hawes,Rachel Weisz Kelly Mcdonald. All are normal looking and naturally pretty and come across as really nice in interviews. And i bloody love Caitlin Moran. Shes hilarious.
But the "sleb lot" dont impress me at all.
I do kind of feel sorry for them though cos the celebrity machine (including Piers Morgan chews them up and spits them out. Because they have to fill mags like Closer and Heat.

yellowraincoat · 09/08/2012 16:32

It is just so shit. These women who have trained their arses off for years and all some fucking wanker can say is "not much of a looker."

mercury7 · 09/08/2012 16:34

'I love that reply from Zoe Smith'
me too!! :o

cantspel · 09/08/2012 16:35

The great british public just loves to slag off anyone in the public eye. Doesn't matter if they are male or female, athlete, politican or rock star.

Rod Stewart is a 67 year old holidaying with his 40 something wife and both of them are being slated for looking less than god like in their swimwear on the beach.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 09/08/2012 16:35

carer when I said normal looking I meant not a supermodel/ towie type. I don't for a minute consider the physique of our athletes (male and female) to be anything other than awesome!

yellowraincoat · 09/08/2012 16:38

Zoe Smith is brilliant. I wonder how many of these comments they get to their faces. Very few I'd imagine.

carernotasaint · 09/08/2012 16:41

English thats what i meant too. Sorry if it didnt come across that way.

mercury7 · 09/08/2012 16:46

it's just an attempt to put women back in their place.

Focusing on how highly they 'score' in terms of sexual attractiveness is used to detract from and downplay their athletic prowess.

Physical prowess is (by social convention) a masculine quality, people often feel threatened and uncomfortable when women stray into traditional masculine area's.

carernotasaint · 09/08/2012 16:49

it's just an attempt to put women back in their place.

Focusing on how highly they 'score' in terms of sexual attractiveness is used to detract from and downplay their athletic prowess.

Physical prowess is (by social convention) a masculine quality, people often feel threatened and uncomfortable when women stray into traditional masculine area's.

THIS THIS THIS!

LetsKateWin · 09/08/2012 16:52

I haven't seen any of the comments about Beth, but I was thinking how sad it is that the female sprinters feel the need to get all dolled up to run a race.

Looks seem to be so important these days, what with all the money from advertising and that...

yellowraincoat · 09/08/2012 16:54

LetsKateWin I don't see how slagging off how women choose to adorn themselves is that much better to be honest.

Some of the women wear make-up. Some none. I think they all look great.

mercury7 · 09/08/2012 16:54

also the hight status of men only activities is often felt to be reduced or diluted when women get in on the act.

e.g. skill @ boxing is regarded as an indication of masculinity, if women start doing it, well, boxing begins to look less manly

I think there was some move recently to make female boxers wear skirts?

EnglishGirlApproximately · 09/08/2012 16:56

I get why men do it - I don't like it but I get it. I understand that (some) men will feel threatened and use attack as defense.

I don't get why women do it. What does a woman have to gain by giggling along with sexist comments? Some of the women I know who have made nasty comments would claim that they are feminists. Are they threatened by women who they perceive to be more successful, or popular? Are they trying to fit in with the boys?

Genuine questions. I have a small group of close friends who all think like me so I struggle to understand the mentality.

mercury7 · 09/08/2012 17:01

I don't get why women do it. What does a woman have to gain by giggling along with sexist comments?

there are lots of rewards for siding with the patriarchy, men have more power and status, aligning yourself with men and going along with convention means that you are favoured by those in power.

Obviously it's more complex than that but broadly speaking thats it

yellowraincoat · 09/08/2012 17:03

Saying "that woman is ugly" is ultimately saying "I am pretty/prettier than her".

It is also like saying "I value attractive women" which is the acceptable position in society. It makes you one of the crowd.

LetsKateWin · 09/08/2012 17:07

I'm not against them yellow, it's more that I think they're doing it to avoid criticism and because the better looking you are, the more you make from commercial deals when it shouldn't be like that. We should be looking up to them because they're good at their sport, not how they look.

yellowraincoat · 09/08/2012 17:09

I don't see women wearing make-up as avoiding criticism, just a preference. Not saying it's without its problems, but it seems like women are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

I haven't heard a single male athlete's looks or way they choose to prevent themselves criticised. No-one says "oh Bradley Wiggins and his sideburns, it shouldn't be about how he looks."

mercury7 · 09/08/2012 17:10

Lots of women dont want to be seen as feminists, in part I presume because of the crass stereotypes that are evoked by the term.

Another reason to go along with conventional idea's about what is 'right' and 'natural' for women

yellowraincoat · 09/08/2012 17:12

Going along with this sort of thing is like saying "I am not one of those shrill boring harpies who will tell you what to think, I am young and fun and sexy."

chocolatemedals · 09/08/2012 17:14

YADNBU..

As for Frankie Boyle, weird that he goes for these nasty bullying comments when he was very badly bullied at school. For having a massive head, apparently Been told he's still a bit sensitive about the size of his nugget. Would have thought he'd steer clear of that lazy, finger pointing type of comedy having been a victim himself and all. Was that in his autobiography? I havent read it.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 09/08/2012 17:16

I think I need to hang out on the FWR boards! In a way I'm glad that I don't understand that mentality but I think by not challenging women who behave in this way I'm somehow complicit (if that's the right word) in the criticism.

I don't feel the need to compare my looks to others in order to be happy or feel valued. I find the idea of wanting to feel superior to an Olympic medallist by criticising their appearance baffling.

mercury7 · 09/08/2012 17:17

weird that he goes for these nasty bullying comments when he was very badly bullied at school

As far as I know people who have been bullied are quite likely to be bullies given the opportunity?

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