Aibu to think, actually, you're being a bit annoying now.

[Cathycomehome]

So, we have a twelve year old (in a couple of weeks) and a four week old baby. I am doing all the nights, baby not too bad but wakes about three times for feeding.

We are both off structured work, we're teachers, and I'm going back full time in October. So far this hols, partner doing about a couple of hours a day fr school, but at home when baby asleep.

He has been following this pattern: I have baby from ten til two, feed, three ish sleep til 5 thirty or six, then partner and other son are upat nine ish next feed time, but I'm still doing feed and change and all baby stuff.

Partner then goes to gym. Then has half hour long shower. Then says he'll have baby whilst I rest. Except him and older son are then watching Olympics loudly soi can't sleep.

Older son has g one to stay at my parents' tonight. I stop to have one glass of wine and a break, come back down half an hour later, and he's apparently "exhausted" and is " glad I'm back from "drinking " to hold our baby!
Excuse typos, please!

Ltb!

Have you talked to him about it?

No, not really, I just assumed it wouldn't be quite like this.mi don't know why he doesn't WANT to spend a bit of time with the ( so far!) fairly easy baby, tbh.

Baby asleep! On me! Shhhhh...shall I attempt the Moses basket??

Yes try it! Good luck!

Big age gap between your DCs, has your DH forgotten what to do? Speak to him and your older DC about what they can do to give you more of a break. Are you BF? If so, could you express to give them a chance to feed your baby, if not then put ear plugs in and shut your bedroom door and have yourself a proper break.

Oh my God! I think he's settled in the basket!

Sorry, lark, I missed your post. He did say he'd forgotten what tiny babies were like. But that sounded negative to me! I'm mix feeding, but mostly bottle now, think will be all bottle by end f week.

I dont mind doing nights at all, but whilst we're both free from timetabled early starts, I sort of assumed he'd do more in the day time.

If you are both off over summer it would be good f you could do.a night duty each on alternative.nights and get some good chunks of rest in.

Well, that was the idea with me doing nights, but I feel he's going back on his part.

Like, if I bring the new baby down at ten after third feed, and baby has gone to sleep, and older son has gone out to play, he then goes to gym, so I have to stay up o duty if you know what I mean.

Give him a list.

In that case, definitely take it in turns on night duty. But, I would also suggest getting your older DC involved in the daytime too. This is an exciting time for all of you and you should all get a chance to bond.

He didn't live with me and our older son full time until our son was three and a half. We were very young when older son was born and I had just finished final year uni, he was going into his second year. He's always been a really great dad, but. Guess had previously only experienced little ones at weekends last time.

Tbh what he's doing would annoy me. We have a 2.7 mo old and 8 mo old. The baby wakes about three times per night and I do all the nights ( bar one in the last fortnight).
YANBU.
You need to talk to him about it.
What will you do once you're both working again? Take it in turns to be up with the baby?

That's what I worry about- October, well be back full time work, and I'll need more help.

A Breakthrough! He's just come and said "I'll do tonight, you have a proper sleep" wonders if he secretly reads this website!

I also wonder, perhaps cynically, if he's going to be martyred abut this tomorrow....

Why does his shower take half an hour ?

I think because he wants it to! Must catch opportunity to go to bed, but all advice welcome.