Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Nursery Related ??

16 replies

rockinhippy · 08/08/2012 22:15

I should probably name change for this, but never did suss it outConfused, so fingers crossed?

I did a none childcare related task at a friends nursery this week - friend had to leave, so having been introduced to DCs I was left with her staff - lovely staff, really lovely nursery - all fine there, but I am a bit concerned about something I noticed that had it been my own DC at that age I don't think I would have been too pleased about.

Newby DC, barely 2, who clearly struggled to communicate, first day there to see how they liked it - left to wander around on their own, yes safe environment, but he was into EVERYTHING, so to my mind the sort of DC who needs extra watching - several times I had to step in & stop them potentially harming themselves - fingers in letter box, got hold of a handbag, that sort of thing - most staff occupied on other floors, but the one who seemed to be watching this floor was in another room & due to the lay out there was no way they could see this DC from where they sat - I commented a few times on DC being a live wire & has got into X, Y, Z, but was told DC is new & exploring - even I couldn't always see from where I was, but felt I needed too as no-one else seemed to bother with DC, just left them to wander around looking miserable, I also ended up feeling obliged to interact with & cheer up the poor might, which wasn't what I was there for at allConfused

Would this really be normal for such a young DC on a first dayShock I can't see my friend been too happy as they are very hands on with DCs, but I just don't know if this is okay, as its not my field & I am looking from a "Mum" point of view that I am over reactingConfused - this poor might seemed much younger than her was, despite being English knew barely any words at all:(

Would you speak up & if so, how would you approach it

TIA

OP posts:
Meglet · 08/08/2012 22:18

It doesn't sound good. But just to clarify, is it over several floors and why was he near the letter box, ie, the front door?

Original poster
rockinhippy · 08/08/2012 22:20

Yes, several floors 1 rest area with staff off duty, & lots of DCs on another floor with most of staff & yes front door, though the way the lock works he couldn't let himself out

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/08/2012 22:21

It doesn't sound good at all Sad

Imo (probably an unpopular one) nurseries are not the best place for non verbal children/babies.

I think a CM is a far better option where possible.

Meglet · 08/08/2012 22:28

In that case, no, it doesn't sound very good. The DC's nursery are very hands on with new (and old!) children.

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 08/08/2012 22:33

I'm not sure it was such a safe environment. Able to get at handbags? Which could contain sharp nail scissors, choking hazards, medication?

And possibly trap fingers in letterbox? I would like to see the risk assessments that nursery has done Confused

And the staff was sitting watching the children? Rather than interacting with them or playing with them. I wouldn't be happy at all if my DCs were at that setting.

Original poster
rockinhippy · 08/08/2012 23:00

I'm not sure it was such a safe environment. Able to get at handbags? Which could contain sharp nail scissors, choking hazards, medication

I would normally agree, but I KNOW my friend & the staff members I do know care a lot & ARE very hands on with all the DCs - I'm thinking it was more one slack member of staff - the DCs on the other floor where all having a wail of a time - I'm not sure if this is a newer member of staff that was working on this particular floor - they WERE entertaining the other DCs in the other open room on the same floor, but its a weird layout - long slim room opening out to a bigger on 2 levels - this boy was on the lower level -

I'm pretty certain the bag belonged to the same staff member & yes, that was exactly my thoughts on it been left on the floorShock - there is a very high coat rack & everything else bar the DCs shoes was safely up there - the boy was a climber too though - so some stuff he got hold of was well out of reach - but as they didn't know him, to my mind they should have been paying more attention to him as he was an unknown quantity

Ironically I over heard this same staff member when joined by other staff, comment on " I suppose we need to be watching her, she won't be CRB" meaning me - then came out & pretty much sat on my lap, yet still letting the boy wander around on his own - they had no clue if I have CRB or not, but I know my friend hadn't asked them to do that, as she knows I have - seemed to me she made a show of being conscientious in front of the others - but obviously I can't be sure of that, as I've never met her beforeConfused

OP posts:
lisad123 · 08/08/2012 23:07

CRB are not needed unless you are alone with child, which you were not.
As for wandering, you know nothing of this child. He was clearly exploring as most do and working out his surroundings, this is normal and reasonable way of settling a child without overloading him with loads of people in his face.
Yes staff should have been better of observing but you can't watch all kids all the time.
I personally would mention it to friend.

Original poster
rockinhippy · 08/08/2012 23:38

Thanks Lisa I'm presuming from your reply that you work in DC care, which is the sort of in put I need, as I say, I'm looking at it from a DM POV & I'm also not used to parenting a non verbal DC of that age, mine was the other extreme, our friends DC was none verbal at that age & turned out to be SN - he was a nightmare at that age, often getting into quite serious scrapes - so yes I don't know this DC, but his behaviour was familiar & therefore worried me for his safety IYSWIM

Yes I know thats the rules for CRB, which is why it surprised me, but hey ho.

As for wandering, you know nothing of this child. He was clearly exploring as most do and working out his surroundings, this is normal and reasonable way of settling a child without overloading him with loads of people in his face

Yes I do get that & can totally see why that is right, but it was the number of scrapes he got himself into, where I was the only one that seemed to notice, that concerned me

Was that meant to be wouldn't mention it, or did you really mean to mention it - sorry had a long day Blush

OP posts:
Rubirosa · 08/08/2012 23:43

Adult's handbag on the floor/within reach of a child - totally, totally unacceptable

Child of 2 not in sight of a carer at all times - I would say also unacceptable. How many staff/children were in the room with him?

Original poster
rockinhippy · 09/08/2012 00:03

Its very difficult to explain it Rubi

Its sort of 3 open plan rooms linked together as one - parts 2/3 very open plan, but sort of split level & partly fenced off IYSWIM - part 1 is a bit more than a doors width open plan & carer was playing with other DCs in the back of part 1 - DC was in part 3 which is furthest away & I was up behind fence on part 2, could see a bit, but not all & I was meant to be occupied doing other stuff IYSWIM

OP posts:
Original poster
rockinhippy · 09/08/2012 00:06

Sorry forgot the important bit - so staff & 2 Dcs at furthest away part of weird open plan long almost like 3 linked rooms but probably officially 1 room- DC on his own at far side - me in the middle, but not there to look over DC - but I did end up doing so

OP posts:
Birnamwood · 09/08/2012 07:39

I would mention it to your friend tbh, if nothing comes of it then fine and she knows to keep an eye out but your friend may also be having issues with this member of staff anyway.

Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can highlight possible issues.

lisad123 · 09/08/2012 08:16

I used to work in child care and am in the process of settling my dd2 into reception and she has SN, her while visits so far have been wandering about touching everything Blush
I did mean mention it because even though this was an acceptable way to settle him, it's not acceptable for him to be unsafe when doing so. I have met some lazy sods in childcare and some that just don't think.
Hth

Original poster
rockinhippy · 09/08/2012 12:17

Thanks everyone, seems like its unanimous then - I've now text her a brief note on it, mentioned the bag & she's going to ring me later - seems from her reply the girl is new.

& thanks Lisa - TBH I would imaging most kids that age let loose in a new environment & left too it it without been told not to, would think it was Xmas & get into everything - mine certainly would have, the difference would have been even at that young age she knew the dangers & would have brought you the bag & told you offGrin but IMO you can't presume that with an unknown DC

Thanks again

OP posts:
Original poster
rockinhippy · 09/08/2012 12:19

Gawd, Blush my migraine brain is still in control - excuse poor EnglishBlush

OP posts:
Original poster
rockinhippy · 09/08/2012 12:59

Just by way of update - spoke with friend - she was very grateful that I did & yes, seems some of you were right, she has had concerns with this staff member lately as she put it, " was good when started, but seems to have gone off the boil of late"

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page