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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this be unfair on ds (11mo)?

21 replies

tory79 · 08/08/2012 14:20

Ok, I can't actually be being unreasonable because I haven't done anything yet but...

At the weekend we have my gran's 90th birthday party to attend. Its on Saturday, 12-530. It is a 3.5 hour drive away.

Would it be wrong to go there and back in the same day? Some people are staying in a hotel nearby, and I have actually provisionally booked us a room there, but I know dh would prefer to come back home, and if it weren't for ds I definitely would too - I am just worried that it is too long to expect him to be in the car in a day. He is very good in the car, either sleeps or just likes to look around, but he's never had that amount of time in there in the same day.

The reasons we would prefer to come back on the same day are mainly to avoid wasting the Sunday by having to get up/travel back = day half gone - our weekends are precious as dh works a lot in the week. Also, this is my dads side of the family, and we are not particularly close to them really, I haven't seen some of them for years.

Help! What to do?!

PS sorry its a very dull problem!

OP posts:
cantspel · 08/08/2012 14:23

Travel back after his bedtime so he just sleeps the whole way. He will be tired after a party anyway so better to travel when there is a good chance that he is going to sleep rather than when he is fresh and full of beans in the morning

wankpants · 08/08/2012 14:23

Well, he won't die will he? I don't get the regimentedness at all times of having babies. Surely once isn't going to make the world collapse!

pictish · 08/08/2012 14:25

If you can afford the hotel room, then I'd say stay. If you can't then you and your little one will have to lump the drive back.

No harm will come to him because of spending that long in the car - he will sleep for quite a lot of it I should think.

alienreflux · 08/08/2012 14:25

I'd stay, 7 hours in a car for an 11 mo old is too long, imo, you can have a lazy morning in hotel, have breakfast cooked for you, you won't really be wasting your wknd i don't think

pictish · 08/08/2012 14:26

Or...to put i9t another way - don't shell out for a hotel room for the sake of an 11 mnth old. That would be silly.

HeleninaGoldChariot · 08/08/2012 14:26

YANBU he is 11 months old, will sleep for much of it and when he is awake already enjoys looking around. You will probably plan to take a break sometime anyway, as long as you can be flexible about this i.e. go with the flow, I think you will all enjoy your day.

You will also then enjoy your weekend together as a family, far better to set you DS and your DH up for the entire week!

rubyslippers · 08/08/2012 14:26

I think you'll be shattered doing that amount of driving in a day

On that basis alone I wouldn't

ceegeebee · 08/08/2012 14:27

I would drive up early Saturday morning, stop halfway, and then drive back after his normal bedtime so he'll sleep on the way home

LemonBreeland · 08/08/2012 14:31

I would do exactly as ceegeebee said. Then neither part of the journey will be too bad for him.

Just pop him in his pyjamas before you set off and straight to bed when you get home.

catus · 08/08/2012 14:34

You're lucky to have a child who doesn't mind the car. Make the most of it without feelings of guilt!
YANBU.

ThePigOnTheWall · 08/08/2012 14:37

Get him in his jamas before you leave, give him some milk and tell him a story while you're on your way and he'll sleep like, erm, a baby

sheeplikessleep · 08/08/2012 14:39

I couldn't have done it with DS2 as he hated the car, screamed every time. Stressful for all involved.

But if he had been more content, then I'd have definitely driven there and back in your scenario as a one off.

Pandemoniaa · 08/08/2012 14:40

I'd share the driving, that's for sure. 7.5 hours is too tiring for one person, especially after a party. But I wouldn't worry about your ds. If you drive home in the evening, he'll soon go to sleep and it won't be very different from him being in bed at home.

coraltoes · 08/08/2012 14:40

we save long drives to coincide with bedtime, removes a lot of the pain of the journey, and easy to transfer sleeping child to cot afterwards

MrsRhettButler · 08/08/2012 14:45

I'm doing a 5.5 hour drive this friday with an 11mo, I'm leaving at around 5pm and I'm guessing by about 6ish she'll be dropping off to sleep and I don't expect her to wake until we get there at aronud 10/11pm she'll probably wake up for an hour or so then I'll settle her back in her travel cot and I'm hoping she'll sleep then til morning

Trills · 08/08/2012 14:48

He won't die, or be injured, or remember it.

You might not enjoy it much though if he decides he is bored of being in the car.

coraltoes · 08/08/2012 14:50

if he wears a sleeping bag you can get some with holes for the seatbelt straps on a car seat

janey68 · 08/08/2012 15:43

Too much driving for the adults ?! Good grief! I am assuming they will share the driving.

As for the baby- he'll be fine, indeed if you make your journey home fairly late, he'll sleep anyway, and it'll be far more like his usual routine than going off to a hotel, sleeping in a travel cot in an unfamiliar room etc.

FantasticDay · 08/08/2012 16:18

How about going down the Friday night after his bedtime, then having a lazy morning in the hotel and coming back Saturday night after his bedtime. Less driving, he gets to sleep the whole time, and you get your Sunday to yourselves...

Original poster
tory79 · 08/08/2012 22:32

Thanks all, I think we have decided to drive there and back on the Saturday and try and time leaving with ds' bedtime.

OP posts:
Original poster
tory79 · 08/08/2012 22:32

oh, and yes, we will be sharing the driving Smile

OP posts:
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