To be struggling with lack of personal space/me time?

[Molehillmountain]

I don't really like that phrase but it does sum up how I'm feeling. Have three dc, 6, 3 and 1. Dd1 is hard work to me-I feel as if I'm constantly working out how to parent her and feel guilty for saying "no I can't play" when I'm looking after dd2 (13 months). Ds is three and more easy going. But I am screaming out for more time just to switch off and I don't think I ever relax fully. Dd2 is still awake a lot at night (although she's pumping out teeth at a hectic rate so maybe she'll be better soon). Dh has taken the older two out for the day today because I was getting so snappy and that is usually a sign that I'm needing a bit of space. But it's not fair that he does that often. I sort of think "well, what did you expect with three small children?" so feel guilty for feeling like this. What can I do, if anything, to carve out more space for a bit of down time? Or will I just need to get on with it for now knowing it won't always be this intense? I feel as if I'm spinning plates and doing a pretty poor job, despite loving my gorgeous children and wanting to do the very best for them.

why is it not fair for dh to take the kids out to give you a break?

is he a stranger or their dad?

spinning plates is normal when the kids are all young, its like first day at the sales every day

it gets better as they get older, for just now try to take each day as it comes

and you are doing the best for them, you're taking care of them and lovong them, thats all kids need, not supernanny

I felt a bit like this with only one dc at 1yo! I felt like I had a limpet attached and even my nights were claimed as his not my own. So not surprised you feel even more so with 3. Their independence will increase and you will get the time you need in the not too distant future.

But you probably know that. In the meantime anything you can do to get some space and save your sanity is no bad thing and should not have good guilt wasted on it! So the dad taking them out is good, any other ways you can get some space is too. Could you go for a half hour run in the evening just to have your own headspace? :-)

we had this problem and solved it by having 2 hours to ourselves twice a week to go to the gym etc. It really takes the pressure off and gives you a bit of head space.

I must not waste today by feeling guilty about how grumpy I've been. One day at a time

And it's okay if I just get back to where we started with the house today rather than getting through the never ending list in my head, given that dd2 is still with me and unlikely to sleep all day. Although not so okay to spend hours on mumsnet....

Just heard dh and the dc arriving home. I have had a lovely day, tidying and sorting but lots of cups of tea and a sneaky magazine while dd slept. I actually got that heavy limbed relaxed feeling. And judging by the pics they've had a great day too.

Mole that sounds perfect - glad you had a good day in the end. :)

have to agree with ssd, why is it not fair for you Dh to take them?

Surely, you can payback the favour in kind? That's how DH and I do it.

I feel so much more rational than I did yesterday! I suppose I felt it was unfair because if dh had asked for me to take the dc for a day in return I would have cried! And also because usually when I have all three in the summer holidays (he's a teacher) it's because he's going into work. But yesterday I worked all day sorting the house out except for an hour and I usually do-it's time by myself I crave rather than time off iyswim. We're a team-and I guess people's contributions and needs in a team aren't the same all the time.