Background: I'm Asian, as is SiL. My brother and her send their children to private school. They owe me 5K. SiL is considerably older than me (over 13 years). I'm not very wealthy (husband works as a shift manager in a fast food restaurant, I'm currently not working but am educated to degree level and have enough experience to find a good job once DC2 is a bit older). I feel this is all relevant information.
Last year we were invited to an Asian wedding. As Asian weddings go, there are alot of "fun days" leading up to the main event, so we were invited every night to the bride's house for singing and dancing. I have a very good voice (not boasting), and made friends with a group of older women who always seemed really happy to see me when I came in with DC1 and always asked me to sing with them. It was all really fun and they were a nice bunch of women. I was also pregnant at the time and they would get cushions for me and get me water etc. (All very over the top, but pregnant women are given alot of importance in our culture!).
The first day, SiL didn't come with me, but I told her how much fun it was. The second day, she just ruined everything for me. We went and sat down and like the day before the women welcomed me and started involving me with everything. The bride's mother too. I am a quiet person, but can come out of my shell if encouraged. SiL saw this and I don't know if she got jealous but every so often she started whispering in my ear (in regards to the bunch of women) "Don't talk to that woman, she's not good. I know her, you don't. Don't talk to her". She kept saying this about 2 or 3 women. I listened to her, and stopped joining in with the fun.
The third day, SiL wasn't invited (and she was pissed off about this). She phoned me an hour before I was to go and started telling me how rich every one of those women were and not to talk to them. She told me how they all sent their children to private schools and lived in the biggest houses on the most expensive street in our city. Just made me feel so small and worthless. I felt like crying. I still went, and they were still kind to me, and I joined in with them, but the fourth day I didn't go out of feeling so small, poor and worthless.
So fast forward to this year, and every time I meet SiL she tells me how she's meeting one of the women who I was told not to talk to by her. I mean literally every single time I'm told how she met her at a friends house and she's so funny, like they're best chums. The same woman who I stopped talking to because she told me they were all rich and wealthier than me. She did this to me last night too about how she'd met her at a mutual friend's house and she'd taken my Aunt and she'd met her too. I got so pissed off, and I said to her, "oh you should have told me, and I would have come too". I feel so embarrassed for saying that, she got all defensive and said "why would you have gone too? she only invited a few people"...I'm cringing, but I don't know why I said that, it just came out of my mouth. She then started showing off about how many friends she has and how the woman I met at the wedding was going to invite her to her house (because she cottoned on, I was feeling uncomfortable)...I just joked with her, and said "Oh don't make me jealous SiL!!" And she shut up after that.
I am cringing for saying what I did, but I just am so angry that she told me not to talk to this woman and she's going off making best chums with her, because they both send their children to private school. I feel so worthless.
Am I just a jealous person? I don't have friends who I meet on a regular basis. Since having DC1 and working full time I stopped all contact with people, and now I have no one to meet. I feel so depressed some days, and I really want friends, but I don't know where to find people. I think this is another reason why I may feel jealous, but I find myself measuring wealth and status everytime I meet someone now, thanks to SiL for making me feel like a poor pleb.
Please be gentle....sorry for it being so long.