To go against a court order and support my son in not seeing his abusive father?

[missmum7]

The dilemma as it it stands is that I face prison if I don't send my children OR I send them against their will to stay with their Dad who regularly smacks, cuts nails so short they bleed, shouts and swears at them etc.

I've spent 50 thousand in court so far but the Judge is adamant this is a parental feud.

In the current court order, there is a prohibitive steps order which says he can't do those things but he ignores it (according to the children). Can't afford to take it back to court. GP is very supportive. No-one else seems to be able to help. Any advice?

How old are the children?

They are 6 and 9

Can't you report it to social services? Take pictures of the bleeding nails?

I'd be doing an anonymous call to social services. Under the pretensions of a being a neighbour hearing screaming. But I'm devious like that. SS are obliged to investigate every complaint.

Have you tried supervised access?

And is a 9yo, deemed, in court to be able to make his/her own decisions?

Lastly, I'd also involve school, they probably have more sway that anyone else. If its seen that your children are withdrawn after visits etc, they will acknowledge that something untoward is goin on and have the ability to set wheels in motion.

I did take photo's but they don't look as bad as they were. Teachers saw them though. Am waiting for Social Care to get back to me but at the moment they say they can't go against a court order and so can't help. they say CAFCASS should be involved but they say they can't get involved unless the court directs them.

I know nothing of this sort of thing, based on what you've written YANBU in the slightest.

Op can't actually risk prison though, who would have her children full time? they'd either end up in the care system for a while OR the EXP would get them.

Contact was supervised at the start but it went well and the money ran out, so moved to unsupervised where it's been a nightmare on and off for the past 4 years or so. Supervised contact is too expensive. I think the age is 10 for the court to feel they're old enough to make their own mind up.

The school are involved and the have referred to Social Care team. My eldest has been going for the past year and getting hurt as a result and I can't get him to go again.

Can I suggest you move your thread to the Relationship section. There are loads of lovely ladies there, with lots of experience of this kind of thing. You'll get great advice there

You wouldn't go to prison.
Your GP can write you a sick note if he is of the opinion it would have a negative effect on the childs health. This would at least give you chance to sort something in the mean time.

You would need to go back to court to change it perminently though.

Thanks for all your help. I'm new to Mumsnet and you've been very kind.