Children and graves

[MyLittleMiracles]

I have a anniversary tomorrow of the birthday of a very close friend and plan to go to visit the church where he is buried, the only thing is i have my little boy as well, he is two and will undoubtedly be asleep whilst i am there so will have no knowledge of it, i would go chat, lay some flowers and leave, most is about an hour it would take me, he would be asleep, is it really that bad to take him there? I used to walk home through a cemetery and that didnt seem bad, but this seems different some how.

My DS1 went to the cemetry with us from a young age as he was born 18 months after his brother. He took it upon himself to go and get the water.

Like others have said walking on graves sometimes is unavoidable as there are barely inches between some graves.

Chasing round the church yard and playing tick in and out the graves occurred after every family service (unless it's pouring).

I was a little shocked at first, but it just seems perfectly accepted both in our local village and the one where the guides meet.

Consequently my DDs aren't even vaguely bothered by grave yards. While I was always a bit unnerved by them.

Still am by modern cemeteries, cremation for me!

My mum died when I was little and visiting her grave has been a part of my life since a young age. She is buried near a very old part of the cemetary, where there are meadow flowers and lovely old trees and is quiet and peaceful, not at all sinister or scary.

My ds's have been coming with me since they were tiny and it's part of our lives. It has helped them to understand death, I firmly believe one should be as clear and honest as possible about death, obviously as appropriate relative to age, to normalise and demystify it. I found it much easier to deal with grieving the loss of my mum once I became old enough to understand what happened to her after the confusion of all the well meaning made up stories.

We go very often to mum's and my best friend's and though it's always poignant, they feel very at ease with it.

Glad to hear i am doing the right thing. And i am so sorry for your loss footphobic i lost my own dad at 15months but have never been to his grave, in fact i am currently trying to locate it so i can go.