to be a bit diasappointed the dh has just said

[strugglingwiththepreteenbit]

On coming down from saying goodnight to the offspring;
"According to dd2, dd1 (11) has a crush on her tutor for next year. Who is it?"

Now, dd1, as far as an 11 year-old is ready to, presents herself to the world as heterosexual.
He's been to the new parents meetings with me and met the fifty-something year-old woman!

Am I really asking too much that he'd paid attention?

No worries. DH says that crushes at this age are very common. What do you think/feel about it?

My OH is also very forgetful listens to fucking nothing we say. I now use it to my advantage - those things I forget to sort out in adavnce, I tell him "But I told you that ages ago (ie going out on girls' night, me forgetting to let him know and him having a moan because of no notice). But this isn't all that serious, IMHO. It's just male/female divide stuff - they operate differently to us and neither gender can really be pissed off about that. Having my DS (God I adore him) made me realise men are born with certain traits and having my DD (god I adore her) made me realise there's a lot of nature (as opposed to nurture) in their behaviour. Let it go

I'm not really taking the crush aspect of the post too seriously tbh and wouldn't have strong feelings either way. It was more of a "dh-hasn't-been-listening-to-me-but-listens-to-the-how-long-can-we-delay-bedtime-chattering-of-the kids" rant.

My meaning does not seem to have been at all clear, though.

"The school policy is for them to keep the same tutor from year 7-11. She's going to be a significant figure in our lives"

Are you expecting her to be in a lot of trouble over the years then?

This person usually checks them in for registration, and checks them out at the end of the day..

She could also leave after the first year..

Bloody hell, my DS will be starting year 9 in September and other than a 2 minute chat on parent's evening, I've never had any cause to speak to his form tutor....and no I can't remember her name off the top of my head

Quite why you think your DH should remember her when your DD hasn't even started the school, is beyond me.

Perhaps he just doesn't have a head for trivial information?

I get the feeling that this is the op's first child going on to secondary

I know we're you coming from.
DH failed to recognise DS's class despite that the fact that he had met her the week before at parents evening and DS greeted her by saying 'hello Mrs X' and has a five minute chat about schoolwork.
YABU just for the PE remark though.

mabe schools work differently, but form tutors usually teach a subject as well, depending on the subject you could be with your form tutor (as a subject teacher) for up to 8/25 periods a week. More is he/she is a science teacher. It is also usually the form tutors remit to teach PHSE and citizenship.

And as far as I'm aware, most things go to the form tutor as first port of call, not just 'naughtiness' - bereavement, divorce, bullying etc.

Or maybe our schools round here are a little more hands on with pastoral care.

"She's going to be a significant figure in our lives."

She's not really though, is she?

And not knowing who a teacher is, is not a big deal. yabu

The pastoral care at my sons school is first class but the form tutor is not the one doing it.
A child who has a problem will often speak to which ever teacher they find most approachable. The form tutor may be a subject teacher for one of your dds lesson but most likely not when you take into account streaming and different sets.
In most cases the form teacher will see the child for a few minutes at the start of each day only.

Coo! You lot have weird schools!

My form tutor used to spend his lunchtimes in the pub, and then taught woodwork and metal work the rest of the time.

He tried chatting me up and asking me out on a date when I was 18 and we bumped into each other one night in the pub...

Not uncommon back in the olden days

She is your daughters form tutor not moving into your spare room

MY husband has no clue who teachers are at high school we have had 1 child go through 6 years another half way through and TBH they get so many teachers nobody knows who anybody is ,

and pastorlal care usually will be another teacher my dds had the same pastoral care teacher and she was amazing when dds had some problems different issues, I am not even sure what the teacher taught tbh

Two of my kids are finished school, one halfway through secondary. Dh would know the names of two class teachers - one who was constantly having study leave, one whom dh taught. He is vaguely aware of a couple of other teachers. He is never able to go to parent teacher meetings as he is always teaching himself. DD1 had a PE teacher who was also a really good Irish teacher, and always had a long queue of parents at meetings as he was a hunk....