DP and I are getting married soon. DSis asked if we were writing a prenup to protect assets. We share the mortgage equally so that's not an issue. But what about a prenup to protect my sanity?
Terms:
When visiting your parents we will never stay longer than three days, with two overnights and we will leave the house at least once on each day. This is regardless of all weather fronts.
I will never take up smoking again because it provides an excuse to leave your parents house by myself and walk two miles to a corner shop.
We live in Britain. The weather is variable but very rarely dangerous. We will not discuss obvious, predictable and safe weather conditions as if they are miracles.
I will resist sarcasm and eye rolling when people bring up the weather.
Drinking tea is a means of hydration and refreshment and not an activity in its own right. It does not prevent you from undertaking such activities as helping me decide on a new mortgage, putting the shoping away or answering the telephone. Nor is it something to do instead of going for a walk or to the cinema.
I will be fully supportive of all tea-drinking and learn to understand the differences between blends.
You will organise the creation of semi-permanent tattoos which only become activated when we visit your parents, to save responses to questions such as "why do you only have one car?" It will say "Because that's our fucking choice".
I will never again say to your mother "Because that's our fucking choice". Even if it's the six time she's asked me that day.
You will cease and desist all conversation about the "exercise regime" which is "going to change everything" and will start "tomorrow". Sweetheart, in ten years I've experience over three thousand tomorrows and they never involve exercise. I love you the way you are.
I will make sure you know how much I love you.
You will consent to eat all vegetables, when cooked al dente and without being boiled to such an extent that I could dye your shirts in the saucepan.
I will never again try to make you eat olives, langoustines, goats cheese or watermelon.
What would have been on your list?