To not want to look after nephew?

[BenedictsCumberbitch]

I seem to be taking up residence on AIBU at the minute. Anyway, SIL and I often help each other out with childcare if we're in am pickle, i'd say on average it tends to be at least once a week, going both ways and I genuinely don't mind as I know she is very generous with her time when it comes to my DC if I need help.

So I get a text yesterday asking if I'd look after one of my nephews on Thursday morning, I reply saying straight away saying not a problem look forward to it, she replies back thanking me and saying although his chickenpox only came out the day before they are all scabbed over and he feels well enough so it shouldn't be a problem. Bollocks. DH did mention something about DN having chicken pox and I had totally forgotten when I agreed. I don't think there is any way that all the spots are scabbed over within a day of them appearing, surely new spots will still be coming out at this stage and even though there is still two days to go before I look after him I bet he'll still be contagious. DD has had chicken pox but DS 2.5 hasn't and I'm not in any hurry for him to get them. There is always the possibility that he'll get them anyway as he spent time with DN before the spots appeared but I don't want to actively try and pass them on. When I voiced a bit of doubt SIL breezed that he'd be fine and wasn't contagious anymore which as I say I highly doubt.

AIBU in wanting to retract my agreement to look after him? DH says I agreed and now we'll just have to suck it up if DS gets the pox.

Yanbu just say sorry but am worried ds will get chicken pox and am not up for that right now. Downside is that if he gets it anyway she will probably decline looking after him as will be a bit peeved!

Yanbu at all. Your dh is being silly, it's not fair to expose your ds to it. There is no way that they can all be scabbed over if his chickenpox only came out yesterday. It's going to take around 5 days, he will still be breaking out in more spots at this stage. He may feel well but that's not the point.

An ill child should be at home at any rate

Of course YANBU. You're protecting your protecting your child from an necessary risk.

Chicken pox is generally "safe" a week after spots first appear, so it sounds like he might well still be infectious. In which case, I think you would be completely not unreasonable to retract your invite. (On the other hand, sometimes it's good to just get it out the way.)

Euphemia, thing is if DS gets ill then someone is going to have to take time off work to look after him.

Plus I don't deal with poxy kids well. I remember crying over DD getting it as it just looks so awful. .

YANBU, yes the worst that could happen is your DS gets it, and Id rather my DS gets it while he is still a toddler, but I wouldnt knowingly put him in a situation where he is definitely going to catch it as it can be quite serious for some people.

YANBU, if DH thinks it is fine, he should look after him if he gets it.

I wouldn't do it, I think its unfair of your SIL to brush your concerns off.

Well no I suppose they don't but I'd rather not deliberately expose him to diseases if I don't need to.

I'd rather he got chickenpox when he was at an age to understand not to scratch etc.

It's horrible whatever age they are but nows as good a time as any. He could quite easily have caught them off the kid in front of him at tesco or the little girl who sat next to him on the bus .... Etc. But It's totally your choice he us your child and if you don't want him to catch it from your DN then don't babysit you don't need to explain to anyone why. You could always use it to your advantage and have your sil look after him when he's sick so you dint have to miss work. Six more months and he will be able to start pre school and then he's gonna be catching everything going including chicken pox. :)

Yanbu. I'd call back and say sorry but it wouldn't be fair on ds to take dn that day.

I know that he could catch it anyway and I'm not trying to wrap him up in cotton wool, as he say he and DN spent the weekend together camping before the spots came out so I'd be surprised if he didn't get it but I just don't want to deliberately expose him to it iykwim? I think I'm going to text dsil and apologise but say I can't have DN.

YANBU. SHe should have mentioned the chickenpox in her first text. Just call back and say sorry, forgot about the CP, don't want DS going down with it.

YANBU. I agree she should have mentioned the chickenpox. But of course there is no guarantee your DC will catch it. My DD had it and DS didn't get it until a couple of years later.

YANBU, just say you can't as DS hasn't had chickenpox, don't even go into detail about how you don't want him to catch it.

Agree with whereyouleft it. Just be very matter of it, really sorry to retract my offer, but i just don't want ds to get it yet, bad timing etc etc.

Anyone with an ounce of understanding will get your reasoning!

Yanbu. I always felt with chicken pox that they would get it, it would be inconvenient but we would deal with it. However, I never wanted to deliberately expose them. There's never a good time, but if you have a choice why get it right now? Also, you really could be dealing with a poorly, itchy child who wants mum and thats not fair unless you've offered. I did offer once for a friend who really was in a fix (exam, no family support nearby). Wouldn't do it if either parent could take time off or if there was an expectation.