... more of an 'Am I being totally bonkers?' (baby #2)

[newmummytobe79]

Awful, awful birth. Terrible thoughts for the first few weeks, not diagnosed with PND but watched very carefully by two HV's and looking back I think I did have it.

Walked round like a zombie for at least 6 months but hid it pretty well from family and friends - I think.

So ... why on earth am I thinking that maybe we should start trying for another!

We're not getting any younger, it may take us longer to conceive than last time (3 months), and I'd really like PFB to have a sibling.

Is it because the big 1st birthday is on the horizon? Or that my 'baby' is now growing up?

I now feel much better and love spending my days with my little friend (well most of the time apart from when screaming!)

Also thinking that I can have two close (if we're lucky enough) and then maybe get back into my career?

But then I think back to the awful time I had and those horrific first few weeks/months :(

So ... am I bonkers?

Yep.

No. It won't necessarily be the same, and now you are armed with experience, you will recognise any symptoms and be able to get help.

The years you are a parent, far outweigh those initial difficulties IMO.

No. But this time get a good support network in place if possible.
Good luck if you decide to proceed

Normal I think. It's a pretty strong urge to have a baby. Hard to fight.

Is there any reason why you couldn't wait a bit and see how you feel in, say, 6 months time?

I don't think you are too bonkers.

I had v nasty PND with my first. Lasted most of her first year.

When I was pg with my second the midwife discussed a suppository that I could have, immediately after birth (within 12 hrs or maybe 6...) that would reduce PND symptoms.

I got it prescribed before the birth and written up on my notes and I still had to ask for it several times, but I got it and I think it worked. I had no PND with DD2.

That was 8 yrs ago, and I'm really sorry, I don't know what it was called, but it might be worth investigating.

Good luck.

I want another baby really really badly. But it's totally bonkers as I couldn't cope with a baby and DS (severe SN) and the baby might also have issues like DS and then I'd have two and then....

But I still want one (I won't have one)

Your reasons sound a lot more reasonable than mine. There's no way of knowing if you'd have PND the second time round and as long as you've thought it through and have good support you'll do fine!

Me on the other hand...maybe a puppy one day c

How old are you? How many children do you want altoghter? Can you afford a lot of help? Can't really tell if bonkers without more info!

I'm heading towards mid 30's and DH is a bit older. Would ideally like two in total ... although DH has mentioned having 3 in passing!
We're not rich nor poor - would like a bigger house but hopefully that will happen in the future :) we have an ok standard of living and we can re-use baby things we bought for our first.

Think alot of my feelings are 'get it out of the way soon' - due to the fact I don't enjoy being pregnant, like to get my figure back, and if I put it off much longer I won't want to do the 'new baby' hell times again!

dd1 - terrible birth, fast but traumatic and didn't consider a 2nd until dd1 was 3.5yo. 2nd pg was twins - cs but fab. Now, 11 months on I'm scaring dh with talk of a 4th. I know it would be mad so I'm thinking once broodiness is too much we'll get a puppy! :)

twins have been a lot easier emotionally than dd1 and far calmer babies so 2nd time round is easier.

financially I think we should stick to 3 but in 5 years I may change my mind so keeping options open. Only you know what's right for your family, but if there's doubt, I'd wait until you are more certain x

I had a traumatic birth, horrendous PND for weeks with our son, now 2.6. I am now 33 weeks pregnant with son number 2.

I have been told I will have extra care after the birth & have set in place my own support system.

I am very worried about it but suddenly as son approached 18 months I was overwhelmed by a need to have another child. I guess I know that the PND didn't affect my relationship with my son, I absolutely adore him, and that I got over it last time & can do so if it happens again.

Only you know if you can do it all again but you're certainly not bonkers to consider it.