to allow my MIL...

[Ecgwynn]

...to look after my DS one day a week when I return to work?

MIL and FIL have offered to have him when I go back to work. I plan on working 2 or 3 days a week in term time and I don't want them to have him for any more than one day. I don't want my in-laws to have to discipline him too much, in my opinion grandparents should have a more fun relationship with their grandchildren so I would put DS in nursery/childminder for the other day or two. He will be almost a year old when I go back to work.

MIL and FIL are lovely and live locally. MIL is a bit PFBGC about DS though, which can be stifling. FIL loves boats.

So, WIBU to do this? What are the pros and cons of this in your experience?

Also do they have to be registered childminders and ofstedded to do this even if no money will be changing hands?

I think your DS will love having his grandparents looking after him.

They don't have to be registered childminders to look after their own grandchild.

Why would you think it was U for gos to look after their gc?

that's gps, not gos!

FIL loves boats - er, what?

you can run into probs with things like too many sweets, not adhering to what you want nap-wise, GPs getting fed up with having opportunities to do Stuff curtailed by having to be available on X day, being laid-back about things can really help

give it a whirl and see how it goes

From your OP it sounds like you already have quite a clear idea of how you'd like to manage childcare. If you, DH and the PIL are all happy with that, and you can afford it, then go for it. You can always change things down the line if they don't work out.

I'm in the same position do I'm watching this thread with interest.

My PIL are insistent about having my DTs 2 days a week at my house and I'm a wee bit uncomfortable with it and I don't know why. Probably all the reasons OP has mentioned!

My PIL have DD one day a week - they love having her. Pros are that drop off and pick up times are flexible and DD enjoys it. Cons are that I have to see PIL when I drop off and pick up...

1 day with GP and 2 days with formal childcare is brilliant IMHO. You may need to have 2 days with formal childcare to get your dc to settle or as a minimum, it is unrealistic to expect a 12 month old to adapt to go to a new childcarer on a 1 day per week basis. Different with GP as they are already part of his world.

I did this with my DD. Worked really well and as it was only one day a week it didn't matter that she got spoiled rotten!

Um they are the GPs

On what planet would this be unreasonable?

Sounds perfect!

My FIL loves trains...a bit too much. Is that how your FIL loves boats?

My ILs looked after my DD and then my DS one day a week from them both being 6 months old. They all had a great time and so long as you're flexible it should be fine.

Our neighbours on the other hand look after their grandchildren 3 days a week and it's almost become a full time job. They're sometimes out from 7.30am picking up the kids and looking after them until teatime.

So Mil loves your ds and fil loves boats?

Pil look after dd while we work. Sometimes 5 days a week. We would be lost without them and dd adores them.

Dd goes to gps one day a week and nursery three days. For me a key pro is that she's developing a good relationship with her gps and learning how their home works. I wasn't close to my gm, who i didn't see regularly and hated going to stay with her because it was all different there. The other key pro is that it's one more day when she has one to one attention

The con is that if you ever have any other questions about this arrangement, no matter how small, one thousand and one mners will shout at you and tell you that if you aren't paying for your childcare you don't get to have views or opinions about it.

DD1 went to her Gran's 5 days a week, and they both go 3 days a week now I'm back at work part-time. Always worked really well for us - but we are quite relaxed about the kids being part of a wider family and not just "ours". They both love going, and the best treat of all in their opinion is getting a sleepover at Grans.