'Swearing'

[sunmonkey]

In the last two (quite stressful) weeks, I have argued with my Husband over 'Jesus Christ' (used not in a row, but cos DS made a fuss over something) and just then 'Bloody' during a row. He said 'Jesus Christ' is not a swear word, still its blasphemy and whilst I am not very religious I still don't like it and prefer that my 4 year old doesn't hear it from his own Dad (then repeat it to people who might really mind).
Also 'Bloody'he said is not a swear word. Well, still don't want son to hear it and also 3 year old friend who is round playing (though he is Dutch).
Am I being unreasonable??

quite like swearing but think it is helpful for children to learn when and when not to express their feelings through certain words and phrases - if they are too little to make that judgment then best not to swear around them?

blasphemy makes me feel awful though, for all my bravado about God being bollocks or a monster I still don't want to provoke Him

If he was in the supermarket with his son, and he suddenly yelled out "bloody hell, Jesus Christ" - would he (your husband) be cross?

If he would not like your child to use a word, he shouldn't use it in front of him.

also, if you feel strongly about a word, even if he doesn't, he should care enough about what matters to you to avoid using it.

I don't blaspheme, nor permit my children to do so (whether Allah, God, or any other deity or significant religious thing). I think it has no place in a diverse society.

I had to train myself out of quite a lot of other eye-opening language when DCs were very small, though.

Krumbum ok, so I might not be correct i calling them 'swear words' and I'm not very young either! But as HecateHarshPants said he might not like it, then again, he might laugh and say something about it, rather than actually be cross with him. Its more that what I would say was inappropriate language - I just wanted him to be mindful of it. Just like calling someone stupid or fat, he has started school already as they start the day after they turn 4 and was saying (in Dutch) 'Stupid eh' 'you 'stupid', I just told him it wasn't nice to say that to people - what does he know at that age? But he has to learn. There are a lot of Muslims here too, I wouldn't want him to start using any kind of language like that in ignorance.

By the way he was calling his friend 'Stupid' but he was just repeating what he'd heard at school, which I know will happen more.

Moxxie - totally agree. Far worse things to say than swearing.

If you find his saying "Jesus Christ" offensive, your DH shouldn't say it, and I agree, he shouldn't say Bloody in front of a small child, unless he is quite happy for the small child to use it in conversation.

My 4yo very quickly picked up "fucker" when his 8yo brother bought it home from school. It was a very painful 2 months of him saying it...maybe I didn't handle it well, as I either ignored, or really told off.

So, I conclude,YANBU.

yabu, they're not swear words.

What are they, if they are not swear words, and are not necessary in the sentence?

They are not made up words, used instead of swear words.

Bloody is a shortening of 'by our lady' it's not a swear word.

Yanbu.

DS likes "Cheese 'n rice!"

I fucking hate swearing.

Children pick up on swear words if you make a big deal about saying 'don't SAY that'. Be relaxed about it and they won't even notice.

In the grand scheme of things swearing isn't a big deal, unless it is accompanied by aggression and bad feeling. It's the aggression and bad feeling which IS the big deal. Sort that out before stressing about swearing.

Honestly, I swear all the time in everyday conversation and my DC have never noticed. They come home from school having picked up the odd 'naughty word' but they are always silly things like peanut instead of penis.

What I would draw the line at is having a row in front of them, with anyone - that is far more unpleasant and damaging.

We swear a lot. Dc have occassionally, mainly when younger used a swear word they're they got some mileage out of them as jokes but then they were told it not for them to use they can use it when it's grown up.

I don't see any problem in children knowing just because they can it doesn't mean they should, they could go an drink for the vodka but they don't, they could swear but they don't. Now the older ones are teens they swear but know to be respectful.

I wouldn't class what you've said as swearing at all but if you don't like it you don't like it. I absolutely hate thing like 'poohead'. Your children, your home you can ban what you want.

Oh and agree with Moxxie

lol re poohead (sounds familiar)...

The challenge is to teach your children to be respectful about HOW they speak to people. If they are looking to offend then they will always find ways to be offensive - their vocab is irrelevant really, so there's no point in stressing about whether they will say 'Jesus Christ' or 'Poohead' when Auntie Mary says no to their having a second piece of cake.

As a very lazy, overdramatic speaker I swear all the time, with real swear words and resuscitated old-time expletives (i have a particular fondness for 'fiddlesticks'). I try, with variable success, to stick to the not-really-swearing ones in front of children and persons of a fragile disposition.

But I can't stand pretend swearing like "Yuk Fou" and "Pluck it"! It's so obvious what you mean to say - so just bloomin' well say it, or think of something accurately descriptive. Now duck off, please, and work on your bunting vocabulary.

YANBU

They are words likely to cause offence if a child uses them in front of the wrong person. Therefore they should not be used until any listening DCs are old enough not to repeat them in the wrong place.

OMG and Jesus Christ are particularly problematic. My DCs remember that fuck is for home use only. However, they and I are atheists, but DH and many friends aren't. Thus I ban these and try not to use them myself because to my brain they just register as offensive and I would upset someone.

Just don't register

It's the way you use the words not the words themselves.