to wean my 17 month old - she thinks so!

[PinkElephant73]

DD still has a BF before bed (7pm) and at 5am.

I want to fully wean her now and have decided to stop the 7pm feed first. on 3 occasions in the last few months she has gone down successfully without milk when I have been away.

so the last 2 nights DH has put her to bed and all has been well til about 10-11pm . Last night she woke up repeatedly and DH went in and gave her dummy back - she was ok but then waking up again 10-15 mins later repeatedly. I then went into her room and she went batshit crazy when she saw me, standing up screaming and the next time DH went in she threw her dummy across the room. so he suggested I feed her, which I did and she went to sleep until 5am.

tonight, she has woken again at about 10ish and same pattern - DH has been in 3 times ish, she would be comforted for a few mins and then wake up again. I then went in about 11 pm and was unable to settle her at all, have been going back at regular intervals to try to resettle but she has screamed continuously for nearly an hour.

she may/may not be teething but I think she just wants milk when she sees me, what do you guys think?

I would think about dropping the morning feed instead as she is finding it hard and you are getting broken nights

Does she eat well?

Can you express milk for your DH to give her or FF?

That way she might break the connection between you and milk IYSWIM?

Agree with Raisin drop the morning feed first.

She's asleep now for the moment, after crying for an hour.

I'd planned to drop the bedtime feed first as she has gone without it before successfully, plus I cant face getting up at 5am every day - she normally feeds back to sleep til 7am then. but will see how we get on.

She wont take EBM, formula or cows milk from a bottle or cup - she is 17 months now so that ship has sailed. Dont want to replace one addiction with another! Thanks anyway.

i think she still needs you.

Why do you want to stop? If it's what gets her to sleep then I think I'd carry on.

I'm not sure why you want to wean her, but if you don't want to drop the morning feed (which might be easier) wouldn't it be easier to just carry on feeding her for now and maybe try again in a couple of months?

Could she be thirsty rather than hungry? Maybe try offering her water a couple of times and see how it goes.

Why worry, just feed her!

She'll go to bed for your DH if your not there, but if you are she'll get upset.

DD2 never drank any kind of milk except BM, but from much younger than your DD she'd have juice and yoghurt and go to sleep for DH or my DSIS. But if I was about I fed her.

Pink it's your decision to stop nobody else's,you have done so well bf. like others have suggested why not do this gradually

bf has to be right for mum and baby, and if op has had enough cut her some slack. i am sure in time her lo will adjust. there are a lot of people on here giving op a hard time when she wants to stop

I had terrible trouble weaning DC4 at 2.5yo.I had to because she was feeding much more than your DC and I was exhausted with working FT too.I went to sleep at my parents so I know there was no way I could give in to her, and in a way that made it easier for her.

I am watching this as looking to stop these last two feeds myself with 18 month dd as im pg.

I do however think (after recently weaning from daytime feeds and also before that feeding to sleep) if you want it to be sucessfull you cant give in, still offer every sort of comfort apart from the bf. It is very hard.

I also have a non milk drinker if its not from the breast however have recently discovered she will drink milk with cereal out of the bowl. This is one of my plans when I finally bite the bullet to wean hopefully introducing this as a supper replacement for the last feed.

Sounds like she isn't quite ready to stop having milk before bed, but if you are ready to wean, there's nothing to say she cant have a nice warm drink of cows milk as part of her bedtime routine.
Some babies are ok with dropping feeds one at a time, some babies do better with mum just weaning from the breast totally. My friends son was like this, she tried dropping a feed, and his response was to become obsessed with feeding at every opportunity. He was 3 and would have his head up her tee shirt trying to feed every time she sat down. In the end she weaned him completely and wore a swimsuit under her top for a couple of weeks to stop him, within a couple of days he was much better and stopped asking/trying completely within a week. Not saying this is suitable for your baby, as she is much younger than him, but some babies do struggle with bf being available at some times and not at others.

I breastfed both my boys, basically when they wanted it, but because I worked part-time, it was constrained by when I was/wasn't there. My eldest stopped by his own choice the week he turned one...

My youngest went on and on and on and on and on and and was still feeding at two - by which time I was thoroughly fed up with it myself. He seemed to particularly want to feed and snuggle at night on the days I worked (to 'catch up on mummy time' I assumed) so I was shattered. It was very hard to wean him, not least because he would just shout at me when he wanted feeding! (One particular bus journey is etched in my memory, with him shouting "Mummy, mummy, I want titty, I want titty!" over and over again while the football-fan-passengers pissed themselves laughing and stared hopefully!) In the end, I went away for 4 nights. He didn't get upset at his dad when I wasn't there, and by the time I came back, the habit was broken :)

Deathmetalmum, you may find that during pg just 2 feeds drop off fairly easily as your milk changes then dries up. It depends on how soon you want to stop, but you will reach a point where it becomes much easier.
DS fed right through pg and I am now tandem feeding a 23mo and a newborn, but he was very keen on nursing. During pg he dropped from 5/6 feeds a day to 2 (we did deliberately night wean as I needed the rest) and it wouldn't have taken much to stop completely if I wanted to. I chose not to stop as I felt it would help him to accept DS2 and not see him as a usurper, plus I have oversupply and a willing recipient of excess milk is a godsend.

I had to wean DS3 at 12 mo, due to having to start meds incompatible with bf. 6 months later, he STILL tries to latch on through my clothes, before asking me for milk.

I often have him climb into bed with me, and furtle with my clothes to try to get to my boobs, but I just tell him "Milk there is all gone, Mummy has milk in a bottle for you". No help with stopping bf as Ex left when he was 4mo.

He still wants Mummy milk when he wants milk, but is placated with a bottle. By 17/18mo, they should understand if you say "milk all gone", and offer a bottle.