I kind of know I am but how much??

[Vix07]

So back story: We started our own business in March. since then we have been working 20 hr days, 7 days per week. My family live close (parents 10 miles away, sister 8 miles) I have not had the chance to get away to visit them, they come to see us by booking - we have started a small restaurant, and they see us during opening hours even when they are bringing things to help (eg my sister had loads of martini glasses etc) cos they know we have no time to spare between official opening times as previous owners left us badly in the shit. They actually book a table so they can come and see how we are getting on, bless them.

DP's family live over an hr away. too far for us to visit (at the moment) but his sister married young and so they have 2 DC's, 16& 14, both girls, and up till recently my DP treated them as his own, always great pressies for B'days etc and never noticed that every contact with that family as a whole, was always initiated by him. Since he's been busy there has been zero contact from them. but they could easily have popped down to see us if they'd wanted to.

It is his sister's b'day on Tuesday so he has got her a card, stamps etc ready to go but he tried to call this afternoon cos it was a reminder of how much he missed her. Sadly he got a massive stream of abuse cos apparently he had missed one of her friends parties a couple of months ago where he was supposed to turn up on a Sun eve (when we close) and he didn't - we don't even remember why exactly but a) he didn't think it was a set in stone promise or b) too busy - I didn;t even know there was a conversation about him going away that weekend! Either way she has taken the huff.

long and short of it, he was upset, tears etc, and when his phone went he asked me to get it.

she was saying don't know why you're upset, phone back when you're over it! (I know I shouldn't have but I replied - 'he's pretty upset just now, perhaps you should phone back when you're ready to apologise'

Maybe I shouldn't have got involved (sure you're all about to flame me now) but I had to do something! ready to hear I was in the wrong for picking up his phone tho :/

I don't think YWBU at all. She's sounds very self centred

No flaming from me, she sounds like she was either having a very bad day or is just a bit of a bitch. I don't think there's anything wrong with you standing up for him though, you're his wife. What does he think? If he has the hump that you answered his phone then you know you were BU; if he doesn't, don't worry about it.

YANBU!! She is a selfish madame!!

YANBU. It sounds like you are running yourselves ragged though.

Why not close one day a week. Most restaurants do. You must be utterly exhausted and will end up burning yourselves out if you are not careful.

My initial reaction is bollocks were ybu, cheeky mare sounding off at her brother when it sounds like she hasn't even made the effort to find out how things are going. I've never owned a business but am aware enough to know it's stressful especially at the beginning.

She sounds bloody spoiled to me.

The only problem I can see is like feakandweeble said if your dh is annoyed you answered his phone, even then I think he needs to consider what his reaction would be if that was you and your sister.

apparently he had missed one of her friends parties a couple of months ago where he was supposed to turn up on a Sun eve (when we close) and he didn't - we don't even remember why exactly but a) he didn't think it was a set in stone promise or b) too busy

Even without all your other circs, this does not sound to me like you are BU. Sounds like his sister is. Especially to hold a grudge for months while he has no idea, and then let him have it when he rings up unawares. Very petty on her part IMO.

Thanks all, we actually do close 1 day per week (Monday) but it's not a sit down recover from last week day, it's a get ready for next week. What's upsetting is that yes, he's cross that I replied 'robustly' on his behalf, on his phone, even tho he asked me to pick it up went it beeped ( knowing who it was) cos he was already in tears & couldn't deal with her

When you're tired (which you obviously both are) and stressed, emotions do run high which doesn't help. I don't think YWBU to be honest...what you said wasn't rude. If she was pissed off he didn't attend something, why didn't she phone the next day? She could do with being a bit more supportive I think...starting up a business is damn hard!

Thank you, yes it is hard but no more than we were prepared for - and we thought we'd prepared our folks for it as well as we are both the ones who call home wherever we are in the world to keep in touch and we have both been around (Aus, NZ Scotland etc)

on the plus side after a v sad m/c at 11.5 wks in Feb we are again 8 wks pg just hoped we'd be able to give the news either in person or at least in a happy environment!

Ah that all adds to the emotion of it! Congratulations, I've been there...make sure you get enough rest x

Thanks - yes I'm a bit emotional at the mo (tears every time anyone wins a medal/doesn't win a medal etc) but don't want to tell them in a bad environment iyswim - last time it was a very unsubtle "why aren't you drinking!!' in front of the extended family that caught me out :(

YANBU.

In fact, you are being very reasonable, IMO.

Now get some rest.