.....to scream (on here only) at my mother-in-law

[Punkatheart]

YOU FUCKING STUPID WOMAN. It is your son who has caused the breakdown in he and his daughter's relationship - by leaving us and for six weeks not contacting us. Then for getting drunk, dating other women and getting so badly into debt that he is now barely able to pay the bills. It is his fault that we may have to lose our home.

Yes I am angry - but I have to beg him for money. I can't work and I am worrying about my daughter - who I believe is now depressed. Saying insincerely that 'I am sorry that you are ill.' (I have lymphoma) is not good enough when I tell you that I am struggling to parent my child. Telling me that I have been unkind - FUCKING UNKIND!! - when he has behaved like an utter prick.

DOUBLE FUCKSTICKS. How did I become the devil in all this?

Thank you so much. You can say I am unreasonable - I certainly feel as if I am crackling with fury. After a year of worry, unpleasantness and grief - I am bloody furious.

YANBU

I sincerely hope you said all that to her! Or you're going to!

Scream as loud as you need if it makes you feel better! They nearly always take the side of their beloved little boys irrespective of their behaviour.

aye let it oot, hen

YANBU!!!!

Shout as load& for as long as you want to...

shout more. anytime.

Oh, Punk, what a bitch she is!

I'm so sorry that you're ill, and I hope you and DD are both getting the treatment you need.

Is there any reason why you even need to be having any kind of conversation with her?

YANBU, I am and on your behalf...rant away as long as you need...anything that will help you to get it off your chest....really feel for you and your daughter x

wot a bitch of a MIL she must be, thought mine was bad lol. I hope you have some fab friends who let you rant, feed you chocolate and alcohol, (after kiddie bedtime!) and give you hugs. Good luck with the house situation, dont forget you can contact SHELTER, Womens Aid and Social Services if you find yourself homeless. I also hope your DD is getting help, although you bein the lovely caring mum you sound may be all the help she needs x

What a bitch. I hope u say it to her face.
What is it with some mothers who just can't see the wrong in their ds. I have a son and if he grows up and fathers children and shirks that responsibility then I sure as hell won't hold back and mollycoddle him.

I really began to doubt myself - until I had a lovely letter of support from another member of his family - who talked about her obsessive parenting that they felt was damaging to a boy who was taught he was perfect. It has always been a case that no one could ever say anything negative about her son - ever.

I see faults as well as beauty in my child and like you, Flojo - I would never let my daughter treat her family the way her son has treated us.

We have been through some really grim times and I have needed MIL as her son's conscience at times. I have previously been able to talk to her and to some extent, she has been helpful at least to get him to behave and do the right thing. But things have become very grim between the two of us. One day he came over and I had just had some radiotherapy on my eye. Blood was dripping down my face as well as tears when I saw him - it was sore and I was feeling wretched. He stood there bullying me into selling the house. This is the man he has become.

I am not saying that I have always behaved well - but my fury has always been valid - as when my daughter had a heart scare (thankfully OK but may need some further investigation in six months of so.) and he would not answer his phone. And so on.

She has told me that I am making myself a martyr - that her husband left her and she dealt with things oh so much better. It is my fault that my daughter wants nothing to do with her father.

Scream, shout and get your anger out in a safe way

She dealt with it so well that she raised a son like that.

( hugs )

I just wanted to offer a hug too x

Evil waggon.Punk,you have my utmost respect for managing not to lamp her one. Mx.

She sounds a nasty piece of work. And I bet when her husband left her and she 'dealt' with it, she wasn't also dealing with a cancer and the thought of heart trouble in her child. You're a brave woman dealing with all that at a time like this - I had lymphoma a couple of years ago so know where you're coming from with this.

Shout and scream on here as much as you like! And try to ignore the nasty old bag, have as little as possible to do with her.

dear God. is there anyone who can help you deal with the mother and son? you shouldn't be having to beg for money. who knows about your situation? there will be people on mn who know about how to access help, and about your situation re the house, things i don't know.
there must be more we can do than just hear you screaming - though scream and scream if it helps.
this won't go down well here, but i'll pray for you. it can't do any harm.

You are all so lovely. As always Mumsnet is the ballsy wise place that helps.

I hope you are better now Cote - mine is incurable but not terminal - at least at the moment!

I just feel exhausted really. I was doing OK and then the begging for money made me feel really low.

But you know - I will be OK. My child will be OK.

Of course you can pray lovebunny - whatever outlet. If there is a God up there - I am not really a believer - I would just like to say that whatever I have done, please stop punishing me! Time for the tea and cake of life now, please! Please put that in any requests.

I don't think she is a bitch - just a woman who cannot face some ugly truths.