DH wants to go to Hong Kong without me

[juneau]

Actually, he'd like it if I went with him, but I can't because of the timing.

DH's best mate has been living in HK for the past three years and is due to return home in October (not to our country - to DH's home country). DH and I really wanted to go and see him and his wife while they were living there and spend a few days in HK - a city we've been been itching to visit, but due to DH doing an MA, starting a new and very busy job, having DC2, etc we haven't had a chance to go.

So now the friend's departure date is looming and DH wants to go and see him for 'a long weekend' (which will mean the best part of a week), in Sept. I'd love to join him, but DS1 starts school in Sept and I'm still BFing DS2, so it's impossible for me to go too.

To be fair, he's asked me if it's okay if he goes and my reply was that I don't object to him seeing his friend, but that I would really like to go with him and perhaps we could go together at a later date (possibly next year). He saw this friend just 10 days ago, so it's not like he hasn't seen him recently. I just feel that if he goes to HK now to see his friend he won't want to go again - as this has happened with two other places I wanted to go, but he's been to and so isn't that bothered about returning to. So AIBU?

Believe me, I'd bloody love to go to Hong Kong and if we had an extra bit of time to play with I'd do whatever I could to make it happen so we could go together. Having to go in Sept - the month DS1 starts school - is a big part of the problem. I've gone over and over it in my head and it's really a choice of DH going on his own in Sept, or the two of us (or four of us), going at some other time after his friend has left and returned home.

I think your DH is being very selfish. Doesn't he want to be around for the first few days of his son's school etc? I know my DH did.

Arrange for the two of you to go to HK when the kids can be left or as a family holiday when the kids are at an age to appreciate it and be occupied on the long journey.

But why does he need to go when his friend is there?

It sounds to me that he's unwilling to compromise so that it's a family trip.
Are his commitments over the next month really so inflexible that he can't take a few days off? Really?

If you are serious about wanting to go then either:

• go en famille. It's not ideal pulling dc out for a week in sept but its not the end of the world either. He would have a great experience and would settle back into school, no harm done
• move heaven and earth to find childcare arrangments and go with your dh in sept. weaning is perfectly do- able if you start now with determination. A 14 month old doesn't need bf nutritionally. I wouldn't faff with bottles, move straight to a cup . Weaning can take months or it can take days, there's no 'right' way to do it, and indeed many mums end up doing it rapidly if an unexpected trip or similar crops up. Depending on how long the trip is, you could even resume bf on your return if you really want to. One of my kids used to bf for comfort until nearly 2 years, but from the age of 12 months I did several trips away for a few days. You simply express if it gets Uncomfy.

Go! You will love it, it's fantastic! Yes, the flight will be a bit of a pain but the return one will be overnight and they will sleep. (probably more than you will)

I think you are building this up to more than it really is.

I have done long haul travel with a toddler and a newborn on my own. I had no choice, so just had to grit my teeth and get on with it.

There will be 2 of you for 2 dc.

Honestly - I would just go and have a great time.

When I was BF my 14 month old (s) it really was just a couple of feeds a day.

In my experience the far east is very child friendly.