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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to grow tired of (mainly) young women quoting Marilyn Monroe and putting her on a pedestal?

61 replies

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:18

I see it all the time, especially on FB and Twitter - girls and women throwing Marilyn Monroe quotes around. The incessant 'Aw, Marilyn Monroe was sooo glam' 'Love Marilyn Monroe [insert 15 lovehearts]

It is particularly noticeable with it being the 50th anniversary of her death tomorrow. Now, I adore Marilyn Monroe movies and I have read several books about her. But why do people not realise that Marilyn Monroe was merely a character invented by Hollywood execs? Norma Jeane was a mousey brunette with crooked teeth and a bumpy nose, and throughout her life she suffered horrific abuse at the hands of those who should have been taking care of her. She was naive, and she was exploited terribly in her constant persuit of love and acceptance. She was a sad, tragic person who was by all accounts childish and unstable. Was she charming? Absolutely. But she is not somebody who should be remembered because of her blonde hair. She was a person who deserved so much more than she ever got, and she often took the wrong path.

I don't think I'd be so bothered if these women quoting her and fawning over how 'glam' she was actually knew that none of it was glamorous, she led a sad life full of trouble. She is not a role model. And people are constantly throwing about that supposed quote of hers 'If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.' I see young women throwing this quite around when they've been a stroppy cow with their boyfriends for no good reason. Completely out of context.

Same goes for Audrey Hepburn. She is somebody to be idolised, but not because she looked good in a black dress smoking a cigarette. But because despite her horrible, scary childhood she grew into a strong person who dedicated her life to helping those in need. Her father abandoned the family during the war as he became a Nazi sympathiser, and left them in great danger, and her brother taken to a concentration camp. Despite this, when she was much older, she traced her father and although he wanted nothing to do with her, he was very poor and very unwell and she financially supported him and paid for his treatment until his death. She was a strong, selfless person who made the best of her life and helped others despite such an awful start in life. If you must idolise her, idolise her for that not because she looked 'classy and glamorous'.

Anybody agree?

OP posts:
peeriebear · 04/08/2012 21:21

To be fair, how many young people research their latest role model? Che Guevara t shirts anyone?

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:22

That's what I mean peerie - if you are going to have somebody on your t-shirt/canvas/facebook etc, know a bit about them!

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geegee888 · 04/08/2012 21:26

YANBU. It doesn't take a lot of "research" to find out that Marilyn Monroe died young of a suspected drugs overdose and led an insecure, promiscuous life.

I particularly hate those comparison photos of her and a bad photo of a model, saying she looks far more attractive and is how all women should aspire to look, because thats what men prefer.

My DH finds her plain. So do I. And personally, I wouldn't want her figure either.

rookiemater · 04/08/2012 21:27

I was very into MM when I was a teenager. I loved the way she looked and as I was overweight I liked the fact that she was curvy. I knew a lot about her and even went to the trouble of reading Arthur Miller plays
As a fat teenager Audrey Hepburn made me feel even more ginormous than I already was.

I'm not sure why you are even remotely bothered about this. At least if its Marilyn they aren't idolising Jordan or Kim Kashiwatsit or some nobody from TOWIE.

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:31

But I'm not talking about the people who genuinely take time to research her rookie - I'm talking about people who yeah, idolise her because she was 'curvy' or whatever. She wasn't overweight either, despite being turned into a poster girl for plus size women.

To be honest, your whole post is exactly what I'm talking about - there are people beyond what they actually look like.

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Birdsgottafly · 04/08/2012 21:35

I don't know why it's bothering you, either.

Some of her quotes are good, whether they came from her or not.

I loved her growing up and was very disapointed to find out that she had, had plastic surgery.

A lot of the teens do know her history and if anything that is positive, as is knowing the Anna Nicole Smith/Amy Winehouse story etc.

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:37

It bothers me because it's shallow. Why were you disappointed to find out that she had plastic surgery?

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germyrabbit · 04/08/2012 21:41

it may be shallow but surely people's interest in her needs to begin somewhere. she was a fascinating person to most people and you have to realise that people are free to think of her as they do.

did she really lead a sad life? only she really knew.

and she did make some great films

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:42

germyrabbit I also love her films. But yeah, she did live a sad life. It's well documented.

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Birdsgottafly · 04/08/2012 21:44

Because she was fabulous, sometimes it's nice to celebrate shallow and beauty.

People idolise the rat pack and their ilk, but they were far from perfect.

Look at the past famous men that are quoted,most complete areseholes, but it is boring to stick to Buddhist quotes, even if they do also speak the truth.

irishchic · 04/08/2012 21:45

I agree OP. Part of the allure is, I am sure, becuase she died relatively young. Am sure if she had lived to a ripe old age she wouldnt have had quite as much adulation. Its a bit like the whole obsession with James Dean, steve mcqueen et al.

StealthPolarBear · 04/08/2012 21:46

I read this as Marilyn manson. I have no opinion on Marilyn Monroe. Sorry for hijack :)

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:47

'Because she was fabulous' Well that answers my question I guess.

Eurgh.

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RabbitsMakeBrownEggs · 04/08/2012 21:48

The man who hit and abused me uses that quote on his profile to excuse the fact that he is misogynistic, violent and dangerous, so it actually makes me feel sick to read it elsewhere as it always reminds me of him... his violence wasn't even the scariest part, it was the way he managed to manipulate everyone around him afterwards to the point that even I wondered if I was mis-remembering things. He is one of the scariest people I have ever met and was glad to be in and out of his life in a few months.

germyrabbit · 04/08/2012 21:48

did anyone watch that (weird frankly) programme where a medium got in 'contact' with mm and said that she wished people would stop worshipping her and let her rest in peace?

that was a bizarre programme

Birdsgottafly · 04/08/2012 21:49

Also teenage girls are allowed to be shallow, occasionally, not that i agree that MM was shallow.

I looked similar and i have enjoyed the way that i look, it isn't shallow, i was born with my looks in the same way as i was born with my power of reasoning and inteligence.

How that was then nurtured/developed depended on where i was born, i don't consider my brain that much more important, or attributable to 'me', than my face, tbh.

This is why i had to stop calling myself a Buddhist.

blueemerald · 04/08/2012 21:49

She had a 22-23 inch waist and was 5'5. That's tiny! She weighed 118-120 pounds! That's on the light side for her height! She had big boobs, that doesn't make her a plus size idol. Her bust would be size 14, waist size 6 and hips 10-12.

great source of info

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:49

Sorry to hear that rabbits Sad that's the kind of thing I mean though, the way those kind of quotes are used to excuse truly awful behaviour. It's sickening.

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/08/2012 21:51

God I hate that bloody quote about 'being a andful' and 'hard work'
Like being high maintainence and flakey is something to aspire to

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:52

Exactly blueemerald but overweight women often like to compare themselves to her. Confused

'God I hate that bloody quote about 'being a andful' and 'hard work'
Like being high maintainence and flakey is something to aspire to' - exactly!

OP posts:
chandellina · 04/08/2012 21:53

Yabu, Marilyn Monroe strove to improve herself through reading and learning, and was smart enough to create a brand and legacy that continues today. Audrey Hepburn was also an amazing woman through her philanthropic work? So what if girls are attracted to their glamour? That retro style is a breath of fresh air compared with today's silicone filled dolls.

Mimiontheshelf · 04/08/2012 21:54

Did you read my OP properly chandellina? Confused

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thekidsarealright · 04/08/2012 21:56

*My DH finds her plain and so do I and personally I wouldn't want her figure either."

Now thats shallow.

McHappyPants2012 · 04/08/2012 21:57

The quote in the op I didnt know MM said it, all I know about her is that famous image.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/08/2012 22:08

She was an excellent comic actress with brilliant timing.

The fact that I think that does not make me shallow, it makes me someone who has an opinion on her acting ability.

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