Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be annoyed that DCs were left unsupervised in the swimming pool

59 replies

olimpia · 04/08/2012 19:38

So an ex colleague of mine invited my two eldest boys, aged 10 and 8 to stay at hers for a sleep over. She has three girls aged 12, 9 and 8.
Today when I picked them up she mentioned that this morning the children went swimming while she and her DH ran some errands in town. She said that her oldest DD was looking after them meaning that she was "in charge" I guess. I wasn't impressed but didn't really say anything as I was picking them up after they had been at hers for 24 hours so didn't want to sound ungrateful and rude.
When we got home the boys said that she dropped them all off at 12.30 and said she'd be there at 2.30. She gave them a packed lunch. Turns out that after 1 hour or so they were all hungry and they decided to get out to eat. The pool doesn't have a cafe so they ended up having sandwiches in the reception area and then they decided it was too late to get into the pool again.
They were picked up late at 14.45 so they were left waiting again unsupervised in the swimming pool's reception for over an hour! They can all swim ok but the pool has a deep end. Five children aged between 12 and 8!
I'm not happy at all! AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

olimpia · 04/08/2012 20:23

youarewinming I agree it wasn't brilliant for reception staff either and for them to have no where to eat.

OP posts:

Original poster

olimpia · 04/08/2012 20:24

bellavita I don't know! That's why asking on MN

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 04/08/2012 20:25

My parents were strict about most things but my sister and I went swimming unsupervised from when I was 11 and she was 8. As others said: there are lifeguards. What difference does it make if a parent's watching from the seating area?

Original poster

olimpia · 04/08/2012 20:26

Yes the fact that there are lifeguards is very reassuring. However I still think that leaving them for over 2 hours was quite cheeky

OP posts:

susiedaisy · 04/08/2012 20:29

YANBU I would be pissed right off, unattended kids in water is one of my pet hates/fears!!

MamaMimi · 04/08/2012 20:29

Unless it was the au pair's day off she should have been with them anyway, no? Why else have an au pair?

I don't think YABU 'cos if she already knows that you are not happy about your ds's being unsupervised in public then she shouldn't have gone and left them this time without checking with you first.

vodkaanddietirnbru · 04/08/2012 20:29

why wouldnt you let them go to the park in a group? DD (8) goes to the parks round our housing estate and sometimes I send ds (5) with her. We are not on the main road so it is not busy and there are a lot of children round about. She takes her mobile with her and can let me know where she is or I can phone and tell her to come home.

Deux · 04/08/2012 20:29

I think YABU about the pool unless your children are weak swimmers. If your children aren't comfortable in the deep end then I can understand. But if you aren't comfortable, that's a different matter.

Maybe you need to get them more lessons or a life saving course?

Our local pool has been full every afternoon of children in the big pool without adults. There are 3 lifeguards on duty.

The children have such fun. What's not to like?

I think it's good for them to have a little independence and responsibility.

At that age my friends and I cycled to the pool without adults at all. Plus had money for the sweetie shop afterwards. Was fabulous.

susiedaisy · 04/08/2012 20:30

Lifeguards are there to help maintain the safety of everyone in the pool not to child mind unattended kids!

FariesDoExist · 04/08/2012 20:32

Yes I think she was being cheeky, she should've run it past you, even if just so that you could have a chat with the kids beforehand to remind them about safety etc. and so that you were aware of the situation. Not fair to just tell you afterwards.

Oh and I still think 8 yrs alone is too young

MamaMimi · 04/08/2012 20:40

You let your dc go to the park, or anywhere else, on their own when YOU feel comfortable about it, they are YOUR dc and it is YOUR choice.

Your situatuion may not be the same as others' so you have to make your own informed decision on the matter.

Original poster

olimpia · 04/08/2012 20:43

mama exactly my point!
vodka I wasn't comfortable with the park thing because I don't know her area at all. There may be weirdos hanging around that park or busy roads to cross.
susie totally agree that lifeguards are reassuring but they're actually there for emergencies not to supervise young children.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 04/08/2012 20:49

"I knew they were going swimming but I thought her, her DH or the au pair would at least watch them for the seating area"

why though? what could they do from there that the lifeguard couldnt anyway?

So long as all kids are able swimmers, I cant see a problem. From the age of 8 we all used to go off to the swimming baths on our own.

lljkk · 04/08/2012 20:55

YABVU.

WildWorld2004 · 04/08/2012 21:07

There was a thread a while ago about a child having difficulty in a public pool & the lifeguard doing nothing.

At our pool the kids can go in unsupervised at 8yrs old, i dont think id let my dd(8) go by herself.

I dont think YABU as there wer quite a lot of kids for the 12yr old to look after & they were left for quite a long time.

WildWorld2004 · 04/08/2012 21:08

Also the only thing the lifeguards do at our public pool is sit & look miserable. I wouldnt trust them.

littlebluechair · 04/08/2012 21:17

No, YANBU. If people are happy to leave their own kids (as we do) then fine, but there is no way I'd leave someone else's children without checking. What she did was not in itself U, but it was totally U not to check it through with you first.

Mrbojangles1 · 04/08/2012 21:30

Yanbu i am very weary or taking other peoples kids swimming as my child is a very string swimmer and is allowed to go off but pthers peoples children always say how strong they can swim but you never can be to sure

FreelanceMama · 04/08/2012 22:53

hmm.. I think I'm changing my mind now! Your ex-colleague knew you were uncomfortable about your children being unattended previously so I'd have thought she'd have known that leaving them anywhere for 2+ hours would be something you'd be unhappy about.

I think you'll need to accept that this might happen whenever they play with your friend's kids unless you check beforehand.

Inertia · 05/08/2012 00:13

YANBU.

Your friend should have told you of the plan to leave the children unsupervised at the pool , so that you could have made an informed choice about letting them go. Whether other people went swimming unsupervised at 8 is irrelevant- their parents made that choice, you didn't get that opportunity.

I am amazed that the pool allowed this, to be honest - ours wouldn't. Lifeguards are there for emergencies, they aren't childminders; they don't know the capabilities of each child and so cannot monitor them, even if they could watch them all. They would only get involved if someone was in an already perilous situation - I really would not want my children going through that.

I'd have been very annoyed if I were you.

Bigwheel · 05/08/2012 00:42

Yabu. As long as all the kids can swim I can't see the problem. Slightly annoying for the reception staff having kids eating packed lunch there, but hardy a danger to your kids. Sounds like your being very over protective to me. However if your friend knew you wouldn't let your kids go to the park unsupervised (why not?) she should have guessed you woudn't have been happy with the arrangements, and for that I can see why your annoyed.

sashh · 05/08/2012 02:33

Did you pack swimming togs for your children?

saffronwblue · 05/08/2012 02:59

YANBU
At our local pool (in Australia) kids under 10 have to be supervised by someone over 16. I wouldn't be thrilled about this arrangement. ( Also on the protective end of the scale).

ben5 · 05/08/2012 04:56

our local pool states you have to be supervised by someone over the age of 16 if you are under the age of 11. Also lifeguards are there to supervise and help all swimmers, not to babysit children whose's parents are off shopping! did the parents leave an emergency number with the lifeguards just n case? I would be pissed off

lljkk · 05/08/2012 15:59

Our pool, the children can be there without adult supervision from 8.

wasn't comfortable with the park thing because I don't know her area at all.

But you're trusting her judgement to keep her house safe, to feed the children with safe food, to make sure there's a working smoke alarm (etc). Why not assume that she's used her good judgement wrt park visit, too?

Flip

1 2 3