To "make up" a surname with my civil partner?

[ireallyshouldbeworking]

Partner and I are getting married next year (we are both women), and we were just discussing what our surname should be. It's important to me that when we are married we have the same name. Double barrelling isn't for me, and we don't want to choose mine or hers because our families might see that as choosing one family over the other. We tried to combine our names the other night, but can't make anything good with the letters! WWBU to just pick a name that we like, maybe a more distant name from one of our families or something, or would that be really weird? Do any of you know anyone in a similar position?

Congratulations and good luck!!

YANBU to pick something totally new and more 'you' that's how sirnames first came about and have evolved.

Just don't go for something like Princessconsuelabannanahammocks....might confuse the postman :)

Sounds like a great idea, and very common in some other countries. Several of my Finnish colleagues have done it

I think that would be fine if you wanted to do it, otherwise not worry about what either family might think and do what makes you both happy.

is there a familiy name somewhere you can use that you both like ? you can change your name to whatever you like, what about a place that means something to you both , ?

YANBU. Could you see if there are any names of people that are important to you in both families - eg brother and father are Michael , or alternatively see if there are any surnames that turn up in both family trees and use something that has a link to both families?

Congratulations!
Sounds like a good idea to me. I had a double barrelled maiden name and it was a nightmare!

I think that's a great idea, why not? after all, our ancestors only four or five generations ago were doing just that.

My friend gave her daughter a 'made up' surname as she didn't much like her own or her DP's.

Have you somewhere or something special to the two of you that might work as a surname?

The place you met or the name of an artist or musician you both like etc? A book you've both enjoyed?

Congratulations! Sounds like a really great idea. You can use 'Iklboo' if you like.

Like Mrs and Mrs Shades

Yanbu I think its a lovely idea.

Loving the idea of a place name.

Thanks all, good to hear it doesn't sound like a strange thing to do! It's true that this was really normal a few generations ago; maybe we can bring it back in to fashion! I'll have a think about places/ books etc.

Thanks iklboo, that sounds exactly the sort of name I'm after

And we will be Mrs and Ms! (I became a Ms when I was 18, never liked the Miss/Mrs thing, and now it turns out to be quite convenient that my partner doesn't mind it!)

Congratulations. I think choosing a name is a lovely idea. Can you perhaps look back through your respective family trees and see whether there has ever been a surname in common in your families?

I bet if you go back two or three generations in your family trees you will find a name common to both, which might give you something to work with.

I think it is a lovely thing to do - but do have a clear and concise explanation for family members who will go on and on and on ask about it.

YANBU it sounds like a really nice idea. It will be special to both of you, and that is all that matters. Good luck and have a fantastic day

Sounds like a great idea! Choose a name that means something to both of you or occurs on both of your family trees!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Congratulations! I think creating a new surname is a great idea, very special, enjoy choosing what to use!

If you go back through your family trees are there first names, surnames, place names in common?

DH and I both have relatives from Aberdeen, for example, so perhaps if we were to choose a new family name then Aberdeen might make sense.

We also both have grandfathers called William, so Williams might work.

Thanks for all your kind wishes all. And you're right, Marygoez, it's the constantly having to explain where the name comes from that I'm worrying about! Although we'll only have to tell people the first time, and in time it will be just our name like any other.

And names in common might be a little tricky as her family are French and mine are Scottish, but there might be first names that are adaptable (like Williams)

You might find a name that's a surname in one family and a repeating first name in the other, or as ImaginateMum says, a place in common with both families, where you can choose an anglicised French name or a Frenchified (that isn't a word, is it ) English one.

Essentially all you need is a reason to give other people. If you can't find a real reason, make one up and stick to it. If you state it with authority people won't mutter so much. If you say "we rather liked it" they can tell you how odd they think you are.

Summnet - it's an anagram of Mumsnet!

If you found a name in common somewhere, even if it was a first name, that would be awesome!

I almost wish I'd done that with my DH now, his surname is boring and my maiden name wasn't much better.

I know another couple that chose a surname for when they got married, it has a meaning but its private for them so I don't know what, and I thought it was really romantic.