that people who grab tables at self service restaurants without getting food dirst

[Windsock]

are nobs
owners of small kids etcetc ussual conditions apply
it REALLY annoys me.
this messes up the flow of traffic and one person sits there hogging a space where 4 people could get in eat AND have left byt he time their person arrives

Yup

Yabu.
Nobody actually eats and leaves. They eat and linger. Then they get up and buy more coffee, fetch a paper, etc.

I always grab a table, as otherwise, I will be standing there with my tray, with food for myself and two kids, having spent a fortune, looking at people who sit there, with a glass of water and a tiny cup of coffee who has no intention of leaving for a good half hour at least!

It is up to the cafe to sort a reasonable system - it is perfectly easy. Marks and Spencers in Bath have done it, when I asked it was to stop this sort of argument. It works like a dream. You queue up and a member of staff shows you to your tableand hands you a menu. You sit down and decide, one person goes to the counter, places the order, pays and sits down. A member of staff brings it over. If you are a lone person you can go to the counter, without having to leave anything at the table because the staff member knows she has allocated it. The whole thing is civilised and relaxed. If they don't do this I shall continue to get the table first, unless I am on my own which isn't an issue because I could join another lone person. My pet hate is small DCs in the queue who are quite likely to get scalded! They should be anchored out of the way at a table first.

You are also quite right QS, the cafe want you in and out as quick as possible, if I go with a friend we are there for social reasons and we will make a coffee last as long as possible and then probably have a second as we are there for a chat- not because we are desperate for a drink!

I always sit the kids at the table then go for the food. But I try to avoid hideously busy self service places by going early or finding somewhere quieter. Queuing & busy places just make me stressed. Horrible.

Exactly- if too busy go elsewhere.

I agree exotic, it's madness to take an entire family into the queue and likely to be more of a nuisance to people than children sat quietly colouring at a table whilst their mother fetches the food.

It also stops me joining a queue because it looks too busy - it is equally unfair because it means the queue isn't long at all, it is just lots of people who have no need to be in it!

its annoying. i'm usually alone so i can't 'bags' a table and queue at the same time.

I think your maths is failing you there exotic. It's still going to take just as long to prepare and serve up the number of meals ordered- makes no odds whether the people are standing in the queue or not.

I am usually alone - as a lone person you can just join another lone person it isn't a problem. I certainly don't want whole families fidgeting around in the queue and blocking it up with buggies etc. Anchor them safely and be sensible, queue alone. There is nothing worse than having a 3 yr old next to you who can't keep still.

Sometimes when I go out there are 8 of us including 3 young children. Do people seriously expect us to all queue for food rather than sitting down reading the menu and then 2 of us going to order?

I didn't say it was quicker- why would it be? It is more civilised.

Anyway - these threads are pointless. You can all queue if you wish- I shall get seats first unless I am on my own.

You said it was 'unfair' because the queue looks long and busy- which rather implies that seeing a long queue, you assume it's going to take a long time to get your food. But obviously, a shorter queue where each person is ordering 4 sets of meals and drinks is going to take just as long. You could equally argue that the shorter queue is misleading....

exotic, my parents fave caf is M&S, as it is a stress free pleasant experience, which is what they want. They are much too gentle to do confrontation, bagsies etc.

I only ever go to a queue-caf if I can count the people in front of me, plus the amount of free tables, and it looks likely we'll get a table! (wimp), usually i avoid these places as it is the opposite of a ncie relaxed lunch!

definitely get food then sit.

Parklife in Worthing has lost my custom due to never having seats (and being too noisy) despite its wonderful cakes,

now we go to Costa which has more seats. but i like to get settled, decide what i'm having then order.

M&S at Bath only got their new system because of the aggro. If cafes get aggro they will be forced to take responsibility for a fair system. If people meekly obey a silly system it will never change. The cafe want a quick turnover - the customer wants a pleasant social experience. Somewhere they need to meet in the middle.

wow wellwisher, who rattled your cage?

I don't "go around looking for things to be offended by" but considering most disabled people I know would be offended by that word, I don't think it's too much of a hinderance on me to just not use it.

So, taking another view, if someone has children they get special dispensation from MN to bag a table? I was in Bluewater shopping with my mum, a fairly major shop involving lots of bags (brilliant fun!). When we went to get lunch I first sat Mum down at a table, where she looked after all the bags, then went and got her food. First, because Mum isn't young and although pretty fit she does tire more easily than she used to and was ready for a break. Second, we were probably carrying 6 or 7 carrier bags by then and it would have been interesting and probably a bit dangerous to try to negotiate the queue and a hot food at the same time.

To be honest what I find much more irritating is the people in the coffee shops who spread themselves and their bags out over a sofa and table for four, set up their laptop and then occupy a prime spot (normally in the window) as their office for long periods of time - just for the price of a cup of coffee or two. Got Bloody Minded in Brighton with a friend earlier this year and spent some happy time joining people like this at their table.

It is an option of course to join someone.
My mother can't stand and queue-she is physically unable so the only option is to find her a seat first.It is fairly obvious she can't queue ,but there are people who look able bodied but are not-the 'table police' could be very upsetting for them because you don't want to discuss medical conditions with all and sundry. I also remember getting an evil look for sitting down from an elderly lady. I was pregnant and feeling faint, I didn't look pregnant and I don't see why you need to have to explain.

I'm confused now - are people who queue 'meekly' following a system or are they 'aggressively' policing the tables?!

Thinking about it, I realise on many occasions, I have sat and waited whilst someone has gone and got the food,

Usually it is someone in the party needing to sit down that has forced the decision that now is the time for lunch,

In the past it's been because either someone is heavily pregnant, needing to breast feed, elderly, or fatigued from cancer,

I'm don't think there is a way of doing it differently in a lot of circumstances,

On the plus side it must speed up the queues if only one person goes to the counter, as then are fewer people to dither over orders.

note to self don't eat anywhere you can't book a table.

The OP wrote:

owners of small kids/invalids/etcetc ussual conditions apply (sic)

Before deciding who is or is not a cunt, could we all agree that invalid is not an acceptable term?

Quote - its not going to speed things up If one person dithers over several orders though!