To buy a rampant rabbit?

[Guilty08]

My DH has completely gone off sex, I don't know why but it would take ages to explain the change in our relationship.

Just because he doesn't want it anymore doesn't mean that i should suffer right?

So i have been looking at ann summers, £60 for a rabbit.

AIBU to buy one and keep it hidden?

DH says he doesn't want me "Pleasuring" myself but i have not lost my sex drive!

Honest opinions.

And I have to admit I would not be with someone who thinks they have a right to tell me if I can touch my own body or not.

yes, get the rabbit of course.

But there's something serious going on here. Why does he think you shouldn't pleasure yourself? This is very controlling!

Why has he decided to stop having sex anyway?

How's your relationship in general?

Do you want to be with him?

The motors in the bit in the middle of the rabbit (with the wee balls in) burn out VERY easily - if you so much as think about, ah, clamping down on it. I used to do Ann Summers parties, and the ordinary vibrators like the "Promise" (not the rigid rock hard ones, but the softer ones) are much better.
Also, they do a 3 month guarantee, so the week before the 3 months are up, send it back and they will replace it. I had at least one customer who did this, and she had only paid for one vibrator in 3 years.

I agree with Valium, it's up to you what you want to do, give it a whirl that's all you can do

I told him to go to the GP and he said that he doesn't want to as it is "embarrasing" i know he has a wank in the shower Because i walked in on him so i do not know why he has a problem with me doing it.

I am very open about it and ask if its okay but i haven't had sex with him for over a month I haved pleasured myself plenty of times but i feel like a need something to help me out now

I have talked to him about his lack of drive for sex and asked him to be honest about why he has become distant; Work issues, stress etc. He just says "I just want to chill in the evenings and do exercise"

Tell him sex is very good exercise.

Oh yeah, and AS overcharge a LOT - they give their party organisers 30% commission so that gives you some idea of their markup - Love Honey are much cheaper usually.

This must make you feel like crap though op, he has no right to be so controlling.

Why is it better than your own finger/s? Agree with others above but I've tried both and know which I prefer. I'm interested to know.

Mrbojangles1 not a good analagy there - a rabbit (used to mastabate) isn't the same as watching porn, it's the same as having a wank or using a sex toy to have a wank.

'Interested to know' sounds creepy. Ignore that.

I prefer fingers to plastic.

I don't think it's better, it's just 'different.'

I never started this thread with the intentions of "Starting a fight".

I am very open (and always have been) with DH about sex, porn, toys etc. I would have no problem with him watching porn as it is just used for a quicker climax in my opinion.

He has watched porn, like everyone has.

I also have no problem with him pleasuring himself as it to me is completely natural.

I will tell him about the "Rabbit" and i will explain the reasons why i brought it which are not because i want to "Go against him" or "replace him" just that i have a sex drive and i see no problem with it.

I have talked about it with him over and over again about why he feels this way and the most i have got out of him is "Just do".

We have talked about our previous partners and he says that he is not used to anything "Out of the ordinary" but i am, i have tried everything and i have talked about it with him but he sees sex as "Making love" Bluggh

I just explained that although i do love it when we do have sex and it is very romantic i have always wanted to "Spice" things up once in a while but he doesn't seem to want to.

Yabu buy a bullet, the rampant rabbits are useless.

Just treated myself to a wee upgrade . You lot are a bad influence....

Guilty08 my dp sometimes goes off sex when he's stressed etc and sometimes its also about his self esteem which is why its easier to just masturbate as he doesn't have to think about it

Have you tried making the first move etc?

Maybe he thinks that you think he is boring and that he cant live up to expectations so therefore he wont bother trying??

I bought a thing called a Serena from Ann Summers years ago, think it was for beginners but it was crap........I am in the minority though who dont have a rabbit or anything, I would rather just use DH :)

OK.

And completely agree it's up to you what you do, OP. Hell.

I think you need to confront him on the pleasuring yourselves by yourself issue, especially if you have caught him doing it, it should be healthy and ok for you both to.

If he is genuine when he says he prefers to exercise than make love, then maybe you need to have the serious relationship talk, where he should be made to understand that you regard sex to be an import

I think you need to confront him on the pleasuring yourselves by yourself issue, especially if you have caught him doing it, it should be healthy and ok for you both to.

If he is genuine when he says he prefers to exercise than make love, then maybe you need to have the serious relationship talk, where he should be made to understand that you regard sex to be an important part of your marriage and dont want to spend the rest of it never making love again.

I meant start a fight with your dh not on MN, OP.

from this thread it does sound like you want a reason to confront him , not a bad thing, and are sort of using the rabbit as an 'excuse.'

Guilty08 - Reminds me a bit of an ex bf - he doesn't have an idealised view of "woman as Goddess" does he?

btw - agree that he has no right to tell you whether or not you can touch your own body. (spoken emphatically as someone who never "gets any")

None of his business what you get up to, seeing as how he has opted out. What a cheek, banning you from DIY - how very dare he?

Sounds maybe like your previous experiences with more 'racy' partners has made him feel threatened.

Men are complex little pirates, I would keep talking, make him understand that this is a huge deal for you and it's not fair or going to work in the long run.

By all means get a rabbit but sex with your partner is so much more than a shag isn't it so needs sorting.