To leave her crying

[dollywashers]

My eldest dd aged 8 is upstairs in her bedroom. She's been in bed for half an hour and I said she could read for a while. Younger dd is in bed trying to sleep. So younger dd shouts down that eldest is in her room. Been up to read riot act and said eldest needs to go to sleep. Cue crying. She's knackered, we have ridiculous behavior every night about going to sleep. They always take minimum 30 minutes.

She's been crying for 10 minutes and I hate leaving them crying but I am so sick of this every bloody night. AIBU to leave her to cry it out. Or am a being a mean Mummy.

Yeah I might give it a try. Thing is I think younger one would try and stay awake even more if big sis was downstairs. They are 18 months apart and have always had the same bedtime. Worth a try though.

Mind the elephant she is definitely tired. And has blackout curtains so v dark in her room.

I have an 8 year old (nearly 9) and she goes to bed about 8.30 / 9 ish during the holidays. To be honest I just let her watch whatever we're watching on tv and chat etc and I let her more or less decide when she's tired - takes the novelty out of it :) ..... Mostly she's knackered by 8!

I would stagger the bedtimes as others have said. I'd also not worry so much. Does it matter if they are tired tomorrow? Let them learn why sleep is important.

I think if your children are the kind who need a lot of sleep (and you know this best, OP), then you might not want to change their bedtimes. FWIW mine are two years apart and have the same bedtime, it is no hassle.

What's your evening routine like? Is it focused on winding them down?
I find that when it is hot/muggy it is harder for them to fall asleep, and a fan helps - not just for coolness but the hum is very soporific. And of course you can creep in later and turn it off to save electricity, unless it is really sticky.

My older DD (11) is quite a sensitive child and finds it difficult to fall asleep. I've taught her some basic meditation/relaxation techniques and that works very well too.

Have you thought of getting some story CDs from the library so she can listen to one while she settles? A pal of mine had problems with one of hers and this did the trick.

I think separating them is definitely worth a try. I remember my sister and I (2 years apart) winding each other up at bedtime at about that age and getting more and more hyper until whichever parent had drawn the short straw of supervising bedtime lost it and slapped us. Happy days!:) Making sure one of us was asleep before the other prevented such shenanigans.