Have posted about my mums wedding/realationship before, and now the big day is nearly here, I'm feeling a sense of impending doom, sadness and worry that it will all end in divorce not too far down the line (I feel absolutely terrible even saying that) A few facts:
- Mum seems happy, most of the time, and loves DP. This will be her 3rd wedding. Both previous marriages ended because of the men, my Dad DV, my step dad, affair.
- Her DP isn't abusive, violent or anything, just does not help out in any way, and contributes little financially. She does everything for him, he is lazy and (from what I can gather) she pays majority of bills etc even though she isn't a big earner at all.
- She has used her small inhertitance to pay for wedding (chuch one, which partner wanted - she would have been happy with small one) When she got it, I advised her not to spend it all on wedding, she said she wouldn't but it's all gone :( I wanted her to have a bit of spare cash for a change, to spend on things she wanted to, and stuff she's needed for over 20 years, like new carpet etc
- Her partner has moved his 24 year old unemployed son in a week before wedding, he was essentially kicked out of his nans (but he has a mum/other relations nearby) Son had a job for one day and walked out, mum seems to be footing the extra expense of it all. I tried to stay calm when she told me but did lose it a bit, asking who was going to pay, how was partner contributing etc? Didn't really get a proper answer. She will now be doing housework, cooking etc for 3 lazy men, DP, son and my brother who still lives at home.
5.DPs daughter is a nightmare too, very childish and always asking to borrow mney etc from my mum, MY MUM, not her dad or her own mother. Plus she is a compulsive liar about anything, trivial or otherwise e.g said she was working the Sun am after mums hen so (so had to leave early) but was totally caught out when still in bed at 1pm next day, not great example but one of many.
I have been very upset about this, am bridesmaid at the wedding but feel sad that she doesn't have the man I wanted her to, who will look after her, take care of her, spoil her. When she told me DPs son was moving in, I got off the phone and cried with sheer frustration and sadness for her.
She tells me stuff in dribs and drabs and I would never say anything about their relationship unless she brings it up first, don't feel it's my place and have satyed out of it as much as I can.
AIBU for not feeling as happy and excited for my mum as I should be, I want to, I really do but just can't. This sounds really dramatic but my heart aches with sadness about the whole thing :( I am pregnant though, so in hormonal overdrive!