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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to visit a newborn baby when I have a raging coldsore?

33 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 31/07/2012 09:34

Just that, really.

I am prone to them and they flare up every few months. Obviously treat with Zovirax and similar, but basically, you just have to wait for them to go away.

A friend gave birth and her DD is 2 weeks old now. I was due to visit her today but unsure now: is it okay if I wash my hands first and don't hold her? I know they are very contagious but it's only through contact, right?

Or should I cancel? Really looking forward to seeing LO but don't want to infect her with herpes virus.....!

OP posts:
CailinDana · 31/07/2012 09:36

Tell your friend about the coldsore and ask if it's ok to visit. I would be ok with it because I get coldsores anyway and I know that when they're full blown they're much less contagious, but some people might be worried about it. Lysine is a good supplement to take for coldsores by the way.

Rachog · 31/07/2012 09:38

I would ask the mum what she thinks. Personally I think so long as you don't touch the baby you would be fine but it should be the parents choice.

We have a 15 day old ds and dp has a coldsore but he's not getting out of baby duties.

ChunkyPickle · 31/07/2012 09:40

It's through contact, but that can include transfer via clothing etc. DP has a really bad infection and so we're very careful to never share towels or pillows, and if he's having an attack he doesn't let our son near his face and we all wash our hands frequently.

I'm very comfortable with our precautions, and would be fine with you being around my baby with the precautions you mention, but people who have no experience of them might be a bit more concerned? Perhaps ask her?

If you're flaring up every few months that's quite often - we've managed to get DP down to every few years, as long as he stays away from nuts and chocolate, doesn't let him self get over-worked, and stays well hydrated. We also use anti-viral tablets (prescription) to shorten the length of the attack as the creams don't seem to do much for him.

topazemerald · 31/07/2012 09:42

Try those Compeed patches. I used them when I had cold sores when dd was a baby and she didn't become infected.

ChunkyPickle · 31/07/2012 09:43

BTW - you can have something called asymptomatic shedding - where you're contagious even though you don't have a flare up..

And CailinDana - the full blown weeping stage is when they are most infectious!

NoVegBeforeSkeg · 31/07/2012 09:43

Agre with calling and asking the mum.

Without being patronising, can I just say I think you're great for being so cautious.
When DS was born, the day I bought him home from hospital, a load of XHs family and friends came round. Including a woman with a huge coldsore, who mauled DS, while I fought the urge to rugby tackle her (well all of them actually Wink) to the floor.

Hope you get to see her soon Smile

tiggytape · 31/07/2012 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CailinDana · 31/07/2012 09:47

No, chunky, you're most infectious at the tingly stage before the sore fully appears. The sores are infectious but not as infectious as the initial stages.

SirBoobAlot · 31/07/2012 09:51

Call and ask your friend, don't be offended if she says not to come. Hope it eases off soon.

NoComet · 31/07/2012 09:51

Ask the mum, I wouldn't worry because I get them and chances are DDs will catch the virus from me.

OlivesTorchStreak · 31/07/2012 09:52

I wouldn't like it if it were me. I haven't ever had a cold sore and have been in a situation where someone was snuggling up with my DD when I noticed she had one. Wasn't happy about it. But I suppose if you addressed the fact you had one and didn't put it near the baby then that would might be ok.

Re asking the mother- it can be difficult to tell someone that you would prefer them not to come. Do you really want to put her in that position?

Wandawingsthe2nd · 31/07/2012 09:53

www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cold-sore/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Tingly stage is not when to worry!!

Wandawingsthe2nd · 31/07/2012 09:53

www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cold-sore/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Sorry.

OlivesTorchStreak · 31/07/2012 09:54

*would or might?! Blush

A definite MIGHT I think

Wandawingsthe2nd · 31/07/2012 10:00

Cailindana, are you thinking of chicken pox which are safer when they have scabbed?

CailinDana · 31/07/2012 10:12

Well there is conflicting advice out there then because the immunologist who studied my friend's daughter's case (extremely severe herpes infection) said that the very start of the appearance of a sore is the most infectious point. Perhaps she was wrong.

tiggytape · 31/07/2012 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 31/07/2012 10:20

Thanks folks :)

Olives we are quite close and friend is - how shall I say - not a shrinking violet so will be quite happy to tell me to naff off! I think I will ask her. I just wanted to see if I was being crazy to even consider visiting.

Chunky that is interesting. I normally get them when I am v stressed so every 6-8 weeks during busy period at work but not over the summer when stuff quietens down hence me MNing at work. If I put Zovirax on when it gets tingly sometimes it goes away without developing a sore but often that doesn't work. They are quite unsightly and on my nose which is rubbish :(

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 31/07/2012 10:20

From the NHS website -
If you have unhealed cold sores, it is particularly important to avoid close contact with people with weakened immune systems because they are more vulnerable to infections. For example, you should avoid close contact with:
newborn babies (never kiss a newborn baby if you have a cold sore)
people with HIV
people receiving treatments that are known to weaken the immune system, such as chemotherapy

valiumredhead · 31/07/2012 10:21

completely buggered up my bold there!

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 31/07/2012 10:22

tiggy but my question was, is it exposure to just be in the same room? Obviously I would not hold her or touch her or put my face near her.

tbh I think my friend would like company: her OH has gone back to work this week and her mum and bro who were with her have gone home. She is in house alone with baby and is a bit down, I have the impression.

OP posts:
chipsandmushypeas · 31/07/2012 10:23

I thought coldsore virus could kill babies, I personally would hate it if you turned up with one, tell her first

valiumredhead · 31/07/2012 10:24

Tbh I wouldn't put the mum in an awkward position I would just say you can't visit as you have a bad coldsore - then if she thinks it's ok she can tell you.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 31/07/2012 10:26

Okay, have just emailed her saying 'I was really looking forward to visiting you but have a bad coldsore. I don't think it can be passed on except through contact, and of course I wouldn't touch her, but it's probably best if I give it a miss, just to be safe'.

Then if she thinks I'm being ridiculous she can say so!

OP posts:
CailinDana · 31/07/2012 10:27

As far as I know the virus isn't so contagious that just being in the room can pass it on.