about this situation?

[princessclaradoll]

So

dd, who is 7, went for a weekend away at the seaside with her father, stepmother and older half sister.

dd sees father and step mother weekly, sees older half sister maybe once or twice a month. She hasnt spent more than one or two nights with father for several years.

dd got back today and by all accounts had a lovely time. However she mentioned that stepmothers parents joined them for a day and father, stepmother and stepmothers parents went into the local town and left dd and her 12 year old half sister in the caravan by themselves. dd isnt sure how long they were away for but said it was "ages" and also said that her half sister had to make her lunch as she was hungry and the adults hadn't come back.

im really unhappy that dd was left in the charge of a 12 year old who sees her maybe twice a month and was left for a length of time where the 12 year old had to make her a meal. i would maybe be less upset if the adults had run to a local shop or something along these lines but it was clearly longer than that.

Im about to phone the ex and tell him that its totally not okay to leave dd but just wanted to gauge opinion on if im BU???

I was babysitting when I was 12 and I certainly didn't see the kids more than twice a month.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. And what meal? She made your daughter a sandwich.

I wouldn't be happy. It depends on the maturity of the 12 year old though to be fair. My boyfriends DS couldn't look after himself for a day let alone another child

I'd not go in all guns blazing. 30 minutes can seem like forever to a 7 year old. Get your facts straight first. Also, it really depends on how mature the 12 year old is.

Ask ex what happened before jumping in with the accusations. 30 mins is a loooong time to a 7 year old.

Ha x posted with manic :)

I'd ask how long 'ages' was before getting your knickers in a knot.

For all you know, both girls could have been happy to stay in the caravan rather than being dragged round town.

No doubt the 12yr old will have had a phone too.

As for making lunch, why wouldn't a 12yr old do that?

What manic said. Not suggesting your DD isn't telling the truth, but perhaps it would make for a more productive conversation if you put it to ex that this is what DD has told you, and you wanted to check with him?

I think as others have said, it does depend on the 12 year old in question. If she is a mature 12 year old and capable, then i don't see it as too much of a problem. Also, like manicbmc has said, don't go in guns blazing, find out the facts first, if just for half an hour etc, then i'd be tempted to let it go. But at the end of the day, you need to do what you feel best for you and your DD. Hope you manage to get it sorted :)

I would have less of a problem if they were at home than in a caravan. That sounds a bit odd. I wouldn't leave my own kids in a caravan surrounded by strangers whereas I would be quite happy leaving them at home, knowing that there are lots of neighbours around that they know. Also, did they have a mobile phone or any way of making contact in an emergency? I was babysitting at 12 without any qualms, but I don't think YABU in the circumstances.

I would agree with manicbmc and get your facts right first. Just ask if she was left with the 12 year old at any point and for how long.

I would be annoyed if it was my child so YANBU.

Soooooo glad i posted this here first, i knew i needed perspective!

I dont have a problem with the 12 year old making lunch, it was just to illustrate the adults were gone for a length of time ie not just 5 or 10 minutes.

And yes the girls did choose to stay in the caravan, the older girl wanted to stay and my dd asked to stay with her.

And yes the 12 year old has a phone.

Okay so yes, IABU and too over protective

Did your dc ask to stay in the caravan with her half sister? Or was your dc given the choice to stay and said yes then possibly regretted this choice later?

I know if I asked my 7 year old to come to town or stay with her sister in the caravan she would pick the later (they are both much older now, but there is 5/6 years between them)

x posts

Good AIBU form, OP :)

I don't see any problem whatsoever then.